Presenting filler episode-esque clownery for your perusal as I interrupt my wallowing in angsty and bloody wips with this drabble tonight, just because~. This is some looney toons in haunted house type of shit…
The context is that I have done the Dantooine Spring Abundance Festival with Faro and Qyrhu, the two characters least likely to ever want to own a farm and do farming stuff. But alas, here they are, for a little while. Old farmer Ozo took one look at those two black-clad assholes asking about his secretly haunted farm and thinking ‘Oh, good, they deserve this.’ So, yay, farm acquired. Faro mostly busies herself with growing special crops. When he’s not intimidating recruiting farmhands to work for Faro, Qyrhu attempts to bake pies. When they stay there longer than Vette and Theron thought they would (they both lost bets because of this), they come for a visit. They didn’t anticipate the decoration on display there, though. The beautiful, awesome Sith relic from ages past that Qyrhu proudly presents. Only lightly haunted, just some nice mood lighing, maybe some weird shapes out in the fields, nothing else...
Word count: ~ 1000, content warning: sliiightly horroresque imagery? (tho the tone is supposed to be funny overall)
Vette wakes up in the middle of the night. At first, she isn’t sure why, she’s still sleepy and comfy half in her sleeping bag, one bare leg luxuriously sticking out. But something has woken her up. Something that seems to come from her guts, an innate danger sense. She carefully peeks out from under the covers. The room is dark. The light from the moons that might come through the thin curtains is dimmer than she expects and makes the shadows in the room almost impenetrable. Good thing she isn’t afraid of the dark, right?
Then she hears a dull shuffling sound and freezes.
It stops again, but it has come from outside the room, in the hallway. She tries to make out more, but it’s quiet.
Oh, come on, they said they never come inside…
She’s annoyed now, but still spooked, too, contemplating how considerate she should be. Should she really suffer awake while the others happily snooze the night away? And what if it’s actually something else, some low-budget assassin that can’t even sneak around properly?
She immediately discards that possibility again when a truly awful moan comes from the hallway, keening and gurgling like there’s something thick and wet down its throat. The shadows around the door seem to grow.
“Oh fuck no,” Vette whispers loudly, crosses over Qyrhu’s sleeping form still half in her sleeping bag, “I’m not sleeping on the outside.”
She tucks herself in on the inside of their sleeping arrangement, feeling a lot more like she won’t be the first one getting grabbed if these things come inside, sandwiched between a slowly rousing Qyrhu and a Theron whose back is turned to her. She can’t see his head because it’s under an entire pillow that his arm is holding in place over his head. Wait, has he just been trying to continue to sleep like this? Next to Theron is a motionless Faro, laying flat on her back and her arms on her chest like an entombed mummy.
“Whzhgh?” Qyrhu groggily intones as he appears from out his own sleeping bag.
“There’s things in the hallway. You asshole said they wouldn’t come inside.”
“Hnm?” his eyes still aren’t open while he’s rubbing his face. “They don’t.”
The sound that wafts over to them now is like the splashing of vomit hitting the floor. The air in the room becomes inexplicably thick and damp. There’s no smell to it, but it really feels like it should smell like rotten corpse.
“You wanted to keep that shitty relic!” Vette hisses and pulls his own pillow away from him to bury her nose into. She has forgotten hers on his other side. “So go fix this. I can’t sleep in these conditions!”
Qyrhu grumbles but unzips his sleeping bag and reluctantly rises from their mats. He shuffles through the room, collecting his lightsaber and throwing on a bathrobe over his downtime clothes. He’s taking his sweet fucking time putting on his mismatched slippers while heinous looking shadowy goo creeps in from between the upper crack of the door.
At the sound of Qyrhu exiting the room like he’s just going to the fresher, Theron’s head comes out from bellow his pillow, sleepily looking after him as he closes the door. He doesn’t seem all that enthused to follow though.
Everything is quiet.
Keeps being quiet.
Vette and Theron are straining their ears.
Then there’s one wet slap, loud in the dead quiet, like someone just hit a huge dead fish.
A many throated scream pierces the air, discordant and dreadful. Vette feels goosebumps popping down her entire back. She watches as, out of thin air, deep scratches slowly grow downwards on their walls, and she grips Theron’s arm in horror. Theron tenses and grabs Faro’s arm in turn. Faro is still lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling with a flat expression. She simply shifts the knife she has been holding in her one hand to the other that isn’t restricted by Theron’s grip.
Meanwhile, the hall is still a cacophony. There’s lightsaber noises, screaming that alternates between piercingly high and vibratingly low, sounds of breaking glass and shattering furniture, one enormous stomping thud that shakes the entire floor of the barn floor they’re on. They aren’t sure if the harsh hitting sounds are Qyrhu’s doing or if they are being done to him. The muffled grunts that come every now and then tell them he’s still alive at least.
As they are beginning to wonder if they should maybe go look if he needs some help the screaming changes into blubbering gurgles and finally, a relieving silence. They hadn’t noticed how dark it had become as the shadows seem to return to grey instead of deepest black, and beams of cool moonlight trace the floor.
The door opens on creaking hinges. Qyrhu comes back inside, re-tightening the belt of his bathrobe. There’s something dark staining the front of his robe, but otherwise he looks surprisingly unscathed.
Theron releases himself from various forgotten grips and clambers over to look at the stained robe. His fingers come away red.
“Jam has run out,” Qyrhu says to that.
Faro intones a sigh from deep within her chest, not having budged from her mat.
“I always thought that kitchen was lacking,” she says. “The next one is all in stone.”
“It’s not that bad,” Qyrhu assures, “but um… I’m going to the market tomorrow. The milk is all curdled.”
“How about durasteel for the kitchen,” Theron adds, sucking the jam off his fingers, “I don’t want any more stone in this hut, feels like all of it’s cursed.”
“When did you say that buyer comes in again?” Vette angles her head over to Faro, “Please say tomorrow…”
“You know it, Vette,” she says with eyes already closed again.
Unsurprisingly, Qyrhu scoffs at that and looks at them reproachfully. “Excuse me? You just decide to give away the one thing that makes this hovel look like it has some class?”
“Yes,” everyone intones at the same time.
Qyrhu makes to continue his protest just as an eerie howl warbles from out in the fields. He closes his mouth and does not speak again.
bit of a selfish one because i personally love tv/movies and am ever curious as to how others concept their stories:
if your swtor canon had to end a book/season/section/movie/what have you on a devastating cliffhanger complete with all the bells and whistles of a distant release date for a follow up, what would it be? what characters are involved? what part of the story (canon or otherwise) is it part of? why does it hit so hard/what's the draw of it?
+ bonus: is there music that goes with it?
Val on the prowl! <3 I am stroking my beard, hum hum hum...
I really am more of a ‘let’s zoom in on one scene of a work and look at all the smells and sounds and ugly emotions there’ and that’s that. I hop around like this in the whole source material. So I can’t really say I have solid concepts with a plan and thought out order of things. But this ask is fun! I do have ideas. I have picked out two:
So, for a mega dramatic cliffhanger: The point where Faro breaks with the Empire during Zakuul’s invasion of Dromund Kaas*, and when Lana catches her and confronts her about it. I honestly just thought of that cliffhanger, the details are not all figured out, so some might be subject to change.
* I know Zakuul might not have directly bombed Dromund Kaas itself, because blockading it was enough. But um. Having too much fun right now. Maybe they destroyed some key structures like the Citadel as intimidation.
Faro is in the bombed halls of the Citadel’s Intelligence HQ, the building is on fire. Personnel has already long abandoned the building, she had only wanted to nab a few last things from there, her escape shuttle ready on one of the still standing platforms. But in front of the exit Lana had been waiting. Angry and desperate, disappointed and hurt. Faro’s greatest hold over her, the psychological manipulation, was less effective when she was caught red-handed like this. And also, she had no time for a longer chat, among the flames. So they fought, but Faro quickly finds herself on the back foot. She’s out of weapons, mostly out of poison, her voice is hoarse and almost useless in the smoke. Faro’s face is still in its desperation, Lana’s face is furious, both are glistening with sweat from the heat and exertion.
“It’s over, agent. Desertion from you – it’s inexcusable.”
Faro thinks she should beg, but she only manages this:
“I want to leave.”
She isn’t talking to the Minister, to her superior. She is addressing her words to Lana. She has made many mistakes, taken too many risks. Now the harsh hum of the red lightsaber in front of her eyes heralds their consequences.
Lana catches on and only gets angrier.
“You don’t just get to leave.”
Why does she feel like these are the only honest words her agent has ever spoken to her? This brilliant woman who doesn’t let anyone love her. Or at least, not Lana. Everything is falling apart. She doesn’t want to understand. Why did she keep clinging to her as if she wouldn’t let her down, too?
Lana raises her lightsaber, and its beam arcs down.
[Black screen. Show credits.]
unfortunately i dont have any music about it. You just get the regular end credit theme song (whatever it is) and are like wtf...
Hm. although. maybe that one.
Faro’s and Lana’s relationship needed to get to a breaking point. Their goals are too different. Those two are never on the same page at the same time. But they realize when they get to the page the other was on before. Their relationship is not healthy in that time, but it is significant anyway. They start to understand each other, but only belatedly and only too late. Still, Lana does not do what a Minister, or really any imperial, should do at this point. But that you only find out at a later date, when Faro shows up unexpectedly, in a completely different getup, lost in a crowd that is decidedly not imperial.
---
Number 2! My twist to the ending of Knights of the Eternal Throne is one of my favourites to wallow in (it can’t hold a candle to Ziost, bowing down to my queen).
Lana and Theron look to the future and note the different approaching threats, as they are wont to do as practised spies. But they are hopeful. Their position is a good one. They can tackle it. And there’s a party! Everyone is cheering and celebrating, drinking and dancing.
And Qyrhu leaves the festivities when no one is looking. The halls and passages of the base pass him by and they feel distant and unreal. Fake in their vibrancy. He reaches his quarters. Falters under the brunt of exhaustion overcoming him, like it has just waited for him to get somewhere unwatched. He disrobes slowly and mechanically. He keeps hold of the numbness that carried him through the day, even though terror creeps on him, just out of his field of view. Closing in. He lays down on the mattress of his bed, affects to sleep. Cracks his eyes open again. He sees his room. Like a prop superimposed over his eyes. Past that, he sees the endless void of space, the debris of countless broken things. He hears the wind blowing through tundra steppe, slowly chilling him from the inside out. He never left. He’s too scared to scream. He never left this place. And he never will.
And this is the last page. The only thing left are Acknowledgements (ack!).
And I thought how I would direct the movie/show version of the scene:
Qyrhu leaves the festivities when no one is looking. His relaxed face falls away to expressionlessness. As he walks back to his quarters in a deserted base the regular sounds get more echoing and weird, like he isn’t actually where his surroundings show him to be. It’s disorienting. Things are not as they seem, something is wrong. He reaches his room, enters, keeps standing in the middle of it, like moving is pointless now. There’s sound of wind now, wind steadily blowing through tundra steppe, for viewers having seen previous movies, they might even be reminded of another finale’s closing sound. The room gets dark around the edges, washes out into space and starlight, just slightly reminding you of the visual in the recess of Qyrhu's broken mind.
The screen gets dark, while somber music starts playing, a drawn-out despairing sound. The credits only show when the music changes and picks up, throwing us back as if we’re still a bit in battle, as if it has never left us.
Here's the vibe of a possible soundtrack to it, idk... it's not exactly it but eh
During the livelier part of the soundtrack there are drawn shots of the main cast, friends and foes alike, getting faded in and out one after the other so at least you get some serotonin from that lol (I do love it when they do that).
It hits because the audience would expect a hero’s feast, a cathartic joy and relief. But victory always has a cost. And this one’s cost, it dawns on you, is higher than anticipated. Also cool when you're not sure if what Qyrhu feels is the truth or not.
i scribble down a secret code: 1, 4, 12, 13, 29, 33, 48. i crumple it up and throw it at faro. she turns around, catches it, and stares at me eerily. i laugh nervously and scuttle away
Her curiosity is piqued! She does like a little game, she don't bite :))) Thank youuu <3
[swtor oc ask game]
1. What is their alignment?
I had to look this up but Faro is very narrowly reaching LS3 in game. I wonder what will become of my current playthrough that isn’t influenced by the old alignment point system where you just declared an alignment and got points by finishing missions. But probably still LS overall.
In story… more of a mixed bag. She’s pragmatic, she’s practical, she is too used to killing being a solution, but she isn’t thoughtless about it, and is normally not cruel. I say normally because when it’s about some topics, she is popping those DS choices like fireworks. But yeah, she can empathize with the fate of other people, imperials or even otherwise. She usually is willing to take risks for them to help them if it's feasible (and interesting), but a certain caution will always be there. And well, she has a job to do, it's nothing personal...
4. What is their homeworld?
The planet she grew up on is a longstanding imperial world in the imperial core. Minimally visible dissidence in her working-class circle (I think there always is dissidence, but she didn’t come in contact with them much outside of the news heavily maligning them).
I have not made up my mind whether it’s just Kaas or another of the few original imperial planets because I don’t know the others’ vibes well enough yet (and it’s not Ziost. I think.). Point is, she is not an outsider in the Empire.
12. Be honest, how many outfit tabs do they have?
On brand with nine...
(the last one i won't show bc there's only like a belt stamped in there...)
13. Let’s see those outfits!
Let's go, faro fashionnnnn! I tried something else with the screenshots, took them from the menu screen bc the quality is much nicer. The downsize is you don't see the boots :(
All Black - These are the facts: Faro needs all the black leather trench coats there are.
Coat - Chill working coat. Her casual fit in her non-imperial era is something approaching this. The reason why I did the Dantooine Spring Event, when I saw it I knew I needed to put her in it. Everyone was grinding for her (plus the boots*. Both Qyrhu and her got a pair).
Combat - What's an agent without a tight skin suit for combat, eh? Plus, blue on her is pleasing to me.
Commander - The following two are the remnants of taking Faro through Kotfe/te last year (she's stuck in FA now x_x). Those are the commander-y fits you get as an agent (or tech class in general?). Regular meetings fits.
In Grey Whit - The version in grey-white. Honestly, i just really like the white almost-turtleneck here. It inspires me. I love Faro in black, but by god I love her in white, too.
Jumpy - Her original arena death matches fit, and for a general incognito and unpolished sneak and fight outfit. I didn't want to use an expensive dye and the washed-out look eventually grew on me. It looks a bit different in my mind but the vibe is there. It's supposed to be some kind of underarmor suit. Also needs more stains...
Lieutenant - Not sure why I still have that outfit stamped in, it feels more like a early imperial agent uniform. I think I need to make room, I have plenty of armor pieces I could put here instead...
Parka - Cheers for parka, the second love behind trench coats. Also her cold-weather gear.
Reaper - Why is this thing last, I actually love it. Another combat fit, was also heavily in use during her kotfete playthrough. I have not found the mask that completely speaks to her yet, but oooo when I find youuuu
*the boots from the Coat outfit if someone was wondering
I want them for myself
29. What’s their favorite food?
All kinds of street food. When Faro has the opportunity on her assignments and the many places she travels to, she will be munching on the local variation of space!dürüm and grilled critters on a stick of all kinds. It’s just a nice way to feel the beat and tastes of the place, exchange pleasantries with the vendors, observe the patrons.
33. In KotFE which companion(s) from another class are you most looking forward to them recruiting?
I love playing with all of her original companions and her meeting them again, so I have not thought about others all that much…
This will not happen because it’s an imp-led alliance but I’d love her to be put in front of Zenith. And Faro gradually realizing his connection to that guerilla cell she destroyed years ago. I don’t know how Zenith would ever find out, but it’s likely he just hates former ImpInt agents on sight. It would be so awkward for Faro. Zenith is probably trying to kill her. And she’s like: yeah okay fair, but I don’t want to die so I’m going to defend myself, if you don’t mind. (or she can just be way more awful but she’s actually trying not to). Idk how this ends. Most likely badly.
Also Risha, solely because I find it entertaining when the other partners of a (loose) poly V meet each other. Risha not entirely being over her jealousy and Faro, once she notices that, actually putting in effort to have a good relationship with her, until they have nights out and do their own things together and Tev is not invited (they take it in stride). Faro can be charming when she wants to and she means it here, she doesn’t want Risha to feel bad about this, and she’s an interesting person in any case. Of all of Tev’s partners, Risha likes Faro the best.
48. SCORPIO’s betrayal? What are their feelings on that?
Gut reaction is: lmao that’s my girl! Which, when others are asking her assessment, she doesn’t tell them that, would just make them mad, but she will tell them that this has always been a strong possibility. She supported Koth doing his precautionary measures, helped Theron set up oh so meagre cyber security against her and everything (the latter was more for his nerves than anything). It’s nothing personal against Scorpio, but you can’t just show your back to her and expect her to respect your trust, that’d be insulting to her. But she is also just cheering Scorpio on, Faro seriously doubts that her alliance with Vaylin will last, she is also just a stepping stone in her mission of self-optimization. The Alliance might still benefit from that, if they are able to survive the first onslaught of their team up. That’s on them now. Scorpio will do her thing, and she’s honestly looking forward to what it will be. The rest of the team is looking at her all suspicious ‘why are you smiling??’ – ‘what. that’s my normal face.’ – ‘ffs faro, what do you know?’ – ‘absolutely nothing, except that we better change all our operational procedures beginning now.’
a final pic for me and u, bc i love her
She looks so fucking tired. It's probably just janky graphics but for all that she plasters herself with make-up the dark circles under her eyes still show! What's that- ah, she says it's artistic smudging and that I'm an idiot. ok.
more oc questions, since i'm feeling nosy (feel free to ignore if you have enough on your plate already!) - family and time, for the beloved faro?
Hello! Hee hee wonderful, thank you, I really appreciate all the questions, slowly going through them. The Faro mood is strong lately (looking at all the writing I've done the past weeks putting her in situations. She used to make fun of Qyrhu for having his shit aired out by me but now she's crying into her hands bc it's her turn, haha)
Family: would they change their family if they could? be raised by someone else, have a different number of siblings, know someone they've never met?
Faro has effectively died, that is to say, her civilian identity did when she was introduced into being a cipher agent, and that also meant that she was dead for any familial and other relations in her private life. She felt bad for her father, who had only ever been good to her, raising her alone and doing his best like he did. His wife had already walked out on him, and now years later his daughter was doing the same (although he would think she died a patriot in some border skirmish). But that didn’t stop her from pursuing that path in Intelligence. Like her absent mother, she was too ambitious, too focused on wanting to make a real difference, and even though dad had tried to make the simple life seem worthwhile to her, he supported her when she applied to all the special programs, even if he couldn’t help her much with the course matter (did he suspect, even then, that he was going to lose her?)
She wouldn’t change her dad, even if she thought him too even-minded and humble. Her mother? Her parents separated when Faro was a young child, and her mother didn’t visit her often, sent unpersonal presents, all in all making her feel like she wasn’t interested in her, so in turn Faro wasn’t interested in her mother. The contact those two had was sparse and superficial. Maybe having her mother be more present, effectively having been a different mother, would have been nice. But Faro doesn’t really care, she was doing well without one anyway.
Faro isn’t family focused. Having siblings or other (I may give her one for flavor), it would not have changed that she enlisted and vanished into the shadows never to return. Her story isn’t about her family, they will never reconnect, and remain forever in the past.
Time: how do they feel about aging? do they worry about lost opportunities or miss experiences they can't go back to?
She's got a black humor and a soldier's education, she usually thought that she wouldn't get old. She’d do her job, and one day she’ll croak doing it, that’s how it goes. For the Empire, and all that. Things happened, however, and she found herself struggling to wholly subscribe to that mentality again. It’s still a coping mechanism, but something is raging inside her core now, throwing the furniture around, refusing to lay down quietly.
She’s had to learn to deal with various health problems in the time after the brainwash reversal, she knows the body and mind can fail and cause problems regardless of age. So when dealing with that becomes less terrible than its early stage, it's an improvement, regardless of her body's regular signs of ageing. She's in her late thirties (kotfe+) and forties (current events) and feeling better, so her outlook on the future is better. I'll have to see how that continues. Faro has a lot of bitterness in her heart, but that all stems from her past in Intelligence. She doesn’t particularly fear to miss out on things by getting old. She's actually glad for the distance in time that ageing brings.
headcanon meme fears, scars, safe, oc of your choice
Finally, here it comes! Idk if you even remember sending this ask a month ago lol, but Thank You so much for indulging me and sending it anyway, godbender, you're the best!
Honestly, still not entirely happy with Faro, but it's okay, I finally started her playthrough again (hitting me all over again on how the fucking imp agent is the most chefs kiss of class stories). But first, the smuggler:
Tevuuk + Fears
Many of the smuggler’s fears are tied to their freighter. And rightfully so, as it was the means for their financial stability, their first and successful foray into independence. Being a freelance smuggler wasn’t easy at first, they had to scrape by for a lot of it. All their anxieties turned around their ship. What if they don’t have enough money for the next fixing, what if it breaks irreparably, what if it gets taken from them? In their mind, this ship had become their salvation from the dregs of the underworld. They had had to start over many times in their life, and used to think that they were good at that, that if there was one, they would find a way to survive. But now that they tasted a life they actually enjoy, the thought of losing that is too horrible. They can’t do it anymore. Please no, please no, please no.
Prologue time was, predictably, a nightmare come true. Corso was surprised later on that Tev could relax and crack a genuine smile, because that’s not how he got to know them. Also, Tev was ready to tear Risha apart when they first met on the ship, and it took a while until they let her implement changes to the ship unsupervised (Risha rolling her eyes while going over regular calibrations as the Zabrak equivalent of a growling little dog scrutinizes her every move)
(they recognized what a godsend Risha was, being an experienced mechanic and pimping up their ship in a way they never could do themselves. They still were worried that she would either abscond with it or build in something she could then blackmail them over. But she never did. She knew all too well this was the captain’s baby, and she treated it like that. Surefire way to the captain’s heart.)
Even when they could afford new freighters, several of them, it was always out of the question to change that ship. Maybe the self-rending anxiety was lessened, but it still was kind of a superstitious no-go. I want to explore an old Tevuuk finally realizing that this ship cannot be fixed anymore and will never fly anymore, and how they have to come to terms with that. Or maybe it’ll go as they wish and they will die on this ship, flying apart as it does. But this is needlessly dramatic, as everyone keeps telling them.
Faro + Scars
Faro collects an assortment of scars over her career but is used to have the more egregious one’s buffed out by Intelligence. The still a bit visible facial scars she covers with a thick layer of foundation. For professional reasons, she doesn’t want to attract attention to herself with memorable facial features. (She briefly used to wish that the non-physical scars were as easily dealt with. It would be nice if they could be buffed out, too. But then she got ill at the thought of more tampering with her mind. Wish dropped immediately).
When she gets older, she starts to not care so much about her scars being visible. Starts being defiant to that part of herself that cringes away from being noticeable in a genuine way. It’s not really about the physical scars anymore, but letting others notice that she’s the ways she is, that she has her dysfunctionalities and quirks and damaged ways to do things. She’s letting her cool and smooth manner be a bit more grainy and scruffy, and a byproduct of that is the presentations of her scars.
Faro + Safe
She finds safety hard to define for herself. An impossible thing. You’ll hear her say: “Life’s not safe. Life is never safe. Might as well enjoy it until consequences finally catch up with you.” And mean it too. You’ll also catch her bunking in a shitty bolthole not coming out for months because she can’t take going outside for fear of being caught, of being seen by anyone, everyone could be reporting back to someone who shouldn’t know about her. She’s tossed around between the desperate want to provide her own safety, to never be dependent on organisations again that will all fail her eventually, chose their own interests over her when pressed. This need to be untouchable battling the desire of being involved. She likes to meddle, she likes to prove others that she isn’t a pawn, that she’s not someone that just lies down, she is terribly competitive in that sense, and so just disappearing somewhere to a quiet idyll is… not quite so satisfying. She can’t take it. She likes the game, the crazy play life can be, vibrant and bleak and brutal. Her life has made her very careful on how she goes about it at times, too careful sometimes. Mistakes were made. In her undeserved luck, they didn’t cost her everything. And so she keeps walking that tightrope as long as there’s rope, really, swagger in her step, throwing looks over her shoulder and then looking forward again smiling one of her dangerous smiles.
change for qyrhu, body for faro, time for tevuuk AND (because I must) dance for all three?
Thank you, squirrel! <3
Change: if they could see how much they've changed over their life, coming face to face with a past or future self, how would they feel?
Oh wow yeah, that’s A question for Qyrhu.
The Qyrhu of say, Onslaught onwards (37+ yo), has had to deconstruct a lot of Empire induced beliefs he held, has realized he doesn’t want to go back to the Empire, has had to face his disillusionment with it, and the identity crisis that followed. He has also managed to get over his wounded pride and his fear of appearing weak and work on his mental health (a bit. Not that he’s figured everything out, but he’s had to accept that he is not powerful enough, not unreachable enough not to fail on some major points of his life, and that reaching out and receiving help from other people can be very necessary in the process to get better).
Put that Qyrhu in front of his early class story self (22 – 24 yo) who is all about getting ahead, playing the power games, hell bent on conforming to the image in his head of what a Sith must be, putting his all in the war effort. They’re going to look at each other and both disapprove. This is really not what his younger self wanted to turn into, some washed-out weak traitor. Fucking embarrassing. What is he busting his ass for all these years, huh??? He will deny this to be true.
And the older self is sick of this self-absorbed idiot. While there are things that he is still proud of, and he will not be going around all remorseful either way, he sees many of his failings, the many ways he made himself blind or callous or miserable. And what disquiets him the most is that he doesn’t know if he has changed all that much. How easy it is to slip back into some of it. That’s… he wants to look away so bad. But he can’t quite allow himself to do it.
Also, he briefly marvels on what a tough bitch he had been, how did he do it back then, how did he manage, he’s getting old… (burning out and never entirely recovering is what actually happened).
Neither of them cares to be sympathetic to the other. Both are like: Stop embarrassing me!!!
Body: if they were made physically unrecognisable, what would they do?
On a practical standpoint, Faro would find this useful. Especially once she’s trying to get out of the Empire, suddenly looking completely different without all the hassle of a generator (or however those eagle network guys and Hunter do this) would make things much easier and less costly.
However, she would mourn her old body. She hasn’t always had the easiest relationship to it, sometimes she felt like her body dictated too much about what she was, how other people treated her, and resented her body for that. But she and it worked hard to find a comfortable accord, and now you take it away? That’s just rude! She’s probably not going to give it up without stabbing someone about it if that's at all possible. But she would eventually get with the times and adjust to the new looks. What’s one more thing, am I right??
P.S. Ok, maybe she would take it worse if it was the mind control plus her body being different at the same time. Like that might make her snap for good this time. (Hasn’t she already snapped? – Yeah, but, even worse, trust me.
P.P.S. I first tried to talk about her cybernetic implants, but although those changed the feel of her body, they haven't brought much physical altering.
Time: how do they feel about aging? do they worry about lost opportunities or miss experiences they can't go back to?
Tev hopes to get old and well set up. She can picture herself, liver-spotted, probably bald, smoking one (1) expensive cigar per week (just one, get off her ass, Risha), humbling the young’uns at pazaak, giving solicited and unsolicited advice in merc bars, knowing she has nothing to prove anymore, stars, that’s the life she’d want. Unfortunately, it sometimes feels like a pipe dream. Although her chances multiplied, unreachable still. Even among the stars it’s a brutal world. A brutal world heralds a brutal end. Every year she gets older is a step towards this dream, and that is a win to her. Financial stability has also a lot to do with it, and as that starts being a thing, growing old doesn’t seem bad at all to her.
She does worry about losing opportunities constantly but it’s all about her business, making bad calls, missing out on clients, overlooking a forming coup, stuff like that. Personally, she feels like she got farther than any possible other version of herself ever could, feels like she has cashed in on every nine lives or however many a Zabrak gets. She's not missing out. Sometimes, she gets brief vertigo at having gotten this far (it’s very brief but it’s there).
And I think everyone has seen my dancing monkeys (you had to, and I am eternally grateful :))
