#*cassian

[eatsbooks]

I love how almost every Azriel Rhysand conflict you write is the latter trying to use his loved one as a weapon. Vera, Nesta. These very powerful people with very powerful mating bonds will have no ordinary children. Does Azriel go feral at the idea of his son being sent to the torture chamber because he also commands shadows and would be just so good at telling truths from lies? And is Cassian okay with his child becoming a shield and a weapon for their court, especially if they lean towards their mother's interests of reading and dislike of training and want to build a life in an adjacent field, wasting their potential; just like he was when it was Nesta?

‼️‼️‼️ tyvm i feel like they’re usually really good avenues to his own agency as he experiences the cognitive dissonance of—how can i rage against their treatment but not mine when it so clearly mirrors my own? how long have i felt this way? if i have them by my side can i be whole? can i survive feeling this way? often i find (at least in my interpretation/characterization of azriel) that situations like these are some of the only ones that can make him reckon with and do something about his lived experience that isn’t just Endure

ohhhhh next gen acotar charas how beautiful art thee. yeah see i think for azriel, having to condemn his child to his path in life would be a situation he would get twisted up in and rage against. he wouldn’t conceptualize it this way but i think it would feel a bit like indentured servitude, his son being born into his lot in life just by virtue of him being his father. i could see azriel really kind of living through his son in a way, advocating for him to be free to choose what he wants to do, to see all of the world and what it offers before he decides, as none of his family was able to do. cue the soap opera music

okay i will preface by saying cass sometimes eludes me a little just with sjm’s own inconsistent characterization of him … but i think with nes in their corner, he would probably be okay with his child doing something else in service of The Court so long as they still knew how to defend themselves. i could see him insisting they go through training and through the blood rite. they need to know not only how to wield a blade but also illyrian techniques, just in case the threat call ever comes from inside of the house. but otherwise i thiiiiink maybe cassian’s brand of internalized racism would be okay with his child being only nominally illyrian, the way you can grow up catholic and take communion and go to mass on holidays but not really practice it ykwim??

[eatsbooks]

A softer version of the ask you answered where Nesta just rolls a little down the cliff before Cassian does manage to catch her, she's injured though. Does Cassian even realise she fell on purpose? Does it get treated the same way as her falling down the stairs if he thinks it was accidental? What happens after in either case?

warning for discussion and analysis of suicidality

ooooo i really do think it could go a number of ways here. the first thing that came to mind is the bond betraying nesta in that moment—a sharp surge of relief that has cassian turning to see her losing her footing, a dull thud of disappointment when he catches her, then absolute silence. maybe even just a look in her eyes afterwards, or a twist of her mouth, or a listless apathy, not against the pain of her injury but the fact that no end came to how she’s feeling. they obviously aren’t communicating well at this point, so i think cassian’s impotence in not being able to help her and fear for her actual life now would bring him to a place of anger. the ic’s whole thing is that they can lash and equalize against each other and still love each other through it and know the goodness still remains within. they give grace to each other for their anger because they understand it in each other. but here with nesta it would be so jarring. what the hell were you thinking, stepping so close to the edge? as his trembling hands are bandaging her. maybe nesta snaps back, defensive, scared of her own feelings and her own relief as well. this would give cassian some hope. worse—maybe she doesn’t snap back. maybe she just mumbles out an, i wasn’t. and cassian continues to lash to try to get her to lash back. no, you damn sure weren’t. either way i think nesta feels incredibly lonely and unseen. in the aftermath, i think cassian hovers like a motherfucker, probably tells azriel what he suspects in a really cagey, strained way so that azriel knows not to leave her alone when cassian has to be away. maybe azriel tries to offer some sagacity to nesta that she sees through immediately as cassian talking about what happened to azriel even though they haven’t even done that. probably a lot of stilted conversation between nessian until nesta accuses cassian of talking about her without any clue how she actually feels, then cassian snapping and saying it plain—you wanted to. i felt it. tell me you didn’t. not quite an accusation but a plea for him to be wrong. nesta i think could respond in a lot of ways from there!

if he doesn’t realize she fell intentionally—if he thinks she just slipped from her fatigue, i think cassian would be a lot more immediately gentle and doting because he would feel badly. he’d wonder if he was doing the right thing pushing her so hard when he can see the toll it’s taking on her. i could see nesta lashing pretty severely at him. much more of a chance for anger than there is resignation/listlessness. she’s angry not only that she’s scared to have felt relief as she fell—but that cassian didn’t even see her falling for what it was. neither of which would be conscious thoughts for her, just underlying motivations for her snapping at him that she would feel deeply but be unable to contend with. this would bring cassian to be a lot more reactive to her anger. he was trying to be gentle and take care of her and she bit him for it. fine. again i think even that could go a lot of ways. this hike was kind of the ultimatum between them iirc. if even that failed, cassian might (?) give up, at least temporarily. or at least say to her that he was giving up and internally try to figure out another solution. he would feel so dejected after what he perceives to be trying so hard and nothing working—which would send nesta even deeper into a spiral. she doesn’t want this bond and she barely acknowledges it but if she manages to push away even someone bound by the rules of her new life to love her, who could ever love her? but i also think cassian has a very boundless capacity for gentleness. i could see him going quiet after she snaps at him, finishing up her bandaging in that tense silence, feeling himself at the end of his patience and—what do you need, nesta? ‘cause obviously what i’m offering isn’t working. so what is it that you need? to which we could get a very increasingly emotional and tearful, i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know. scene from nesta that sounds a lot more like, help me. help me. please help me.

[eatsbooks]

Ayo omg you talked about your voice and it got me thinking about the Vanserras' voices. And my princess Iphigenia of course. Do any of them have an accent? I frequently see a distinctly autumn accent existing in Eris fics but idk what it would sound like.

ooo okay conceptually i picture most all high fae, including the vanserras and our beloved iphigenia, having like a posh, royal british accent. (and unfortunately that is as specific as i can be because i am a no good american.) i also once wrote that azriel affected "a neutral, vaguely seasonal-court brevity" while he was spying, so i guess in my head the southern, seasonal courts have a distinctive regionality to their speech that shortens their vowel sounds and that differs from the northern, solar courts enough to clock where a fae is from in prythian by their speech patterns. that was mostly just inspired by rhysand's feyre darling sounding drawn-out and languid in my head. i do also think that there's distinct variation between a high-born fae and a low-born fae—for example, i have cassian drop the G from the -ing suffix when he's experiencing heightened emotions, and i had eris drop a lot of syllables when he was ren: y'sell, t'the, 'fraid. in that vein, i consistently have azriel and cassian use more contractions and colloquialisms in their speech than eris does. eris tends to say all of his words when he has his faculties intact.

[persianflaw]

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