Aug 17, 2017
(416): His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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(416): His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
(785): Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
(413): FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
(402): I look excited, but its just a facade.
(732): Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
(803): He's wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard. (843): Why is this not a picture message?
(613): wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck? (330): yes
(504): the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with ""breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13