#*ep 1

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.0)

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(transcript below)

*written in british dialect*

*BUSY BAR SOUNDS, POP MUSIC PLAYING*

(AISH) Dimi wait man! Stop walking away!

(MAX) *seeing the commotion* What the fuck?

[canadaobscura-blog]

Episode 1 has finally been released on Soundcloud, Anchor, and Stitcher!

Keep an eye out on our tumblr and follow us on Twitter for notifications on when new episodes roll out, and when Canada Obscura will be available on other podcasting platforms (including Spotify, Google Play, and Apple Podcasts).

If you like what you hear, make sure you follow/subscribe on Stitcher, or wherever you’re listening to the podcast, and leave a comment or a review!

[outofcontextjokergame]

Context: “I love Japanese culture!” John Gordon happily exclaims after Miyoshi informs him that Sakuma will be performing harakiri if there is no evidence to be found at Gordon’s house. Sakuma’s eyes widen as he realizes the severity of the situation.

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.2)

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(transcript below)

(AISH) Max I-

(MAX) Go inside. I’ll deal with you later. 

(DIMITRY) Go on. Listen to your owner innit.

(MAX) *kisses teeth* Fuck off Dimitry. Don’t let me find you here again.

(DIMITRY) Or what?

(MAX) Pray you don’t find out.

(DIMITRY) You making threats now? Alright. We’ll see how that works out for you innit. We’ll fucking see.

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.6) (END OF EP 1)

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(transcript below)

(MAX): Dimitry! Dimitry answer the fucking door!

(DIMITRY): What the fuck?

(MAX): I have endless amounts of time Dimitry!

(DIMITRY): *low, threatening* You need to get the fuck off my property Max.

(MAX): You need to leave Aish alone. I’m taking over their debt. I don’t have the money right now but if you give me 2 days I can–

(DIMITRY): No. You need to learn to mind your fucking business. Aish isn’t a kid and you’re not their fucking caretaker.

(MAX): You’re such a little bitch! Instead of you to get your money, this is what you wanna do? Aish still owes people money from year 6! (LENA): Ahem. We need to get move on Dimitry.

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.3)

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(transcript below)

(LOURDES): Is it weird being there?

(LENA): Of course it is. It’s like a creepy hotel.

(LOURDES): Mami said he cleared most of his stuff before...*she sighs* Lena do you really think you can find him?

(LENA): Don't ask me that Lo. The pigs have stopped looking and mum won't rest until he's home.

(LOURDES): I know. I just. It's all so fucked now. Everything's changed. I’ve never seen mami like this. I’ve never seen you like this…I hate it.

*DOORBELL RINGS*

(LENA): *sighing* I've gotta go. But I love you. Get some sleep alright?

(LOURDES): Love you too. And I will. Promise.

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.4)

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(transcript below)

(LENA): So. Tell me Dimitry, how have things been in my brother’s absence?

(DIMITRY): It’s been an adjustment…what happened to Luis is…It’s been difficult for all of us.

(LENA): Of course. Though I suppose it’s been somewhat fortunate as well.

(DIMITRY): What do you mean?

(LENA): Well some might say that as my brother’s right hand man, his absence presents an opportunity for you to assume his now vacant position.

(DIMITRY): maybe. But if that was true, then why would I be here now?

(LENA): Mm. I guess we’ll find out.

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE ONE (1.1)

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(transcript below)

(DIMITRY) I’m not doing this shit with you. Either pay me back now, or face the fucking consequences.

(AISH) I just need until the end of next week! This is the last time Di. I promise.

(DIMITRY) You must think I’m a dickhead.

(AISH) Nooo. *quietly* You know I don’t mind selling for you. I just can’t do it here. Max isn’t fucking stupid and if they catch me again they’ll–

(MAX) They’ll what?

(AISH) *under their breath* Fuck sake.