asshole roommates au
BIG GAY SERACASS EDITION
shitty roommates au seracass would be so amazing tho cass is like. serious grad student, star varsity lacrosse player, Active On Campus,
sera is a "freshman" but like. she went for the first few weeks of the semester and then dropped out but somehow stayed living in the dorms
they meet at a party bc somehow they have mutual friends (leliana and josephine) and sera lies outright that shes definitely still in school
she tags along to activities and shit that cass is at and cass is like. wow i thought u were just coming to antagonise me but u actualy
make really good points at these discussions and stuff and you're surprisingly articulate when you're not. you know. making fart sounds
and then someone is like "hey so sera hasn't been enrolled in classes since october she can't live in the dorms or go to these activities &
like why's she even here she's not a student she's just stealing our pizza & disrupting discussions" and cass is like. she is not disrupting
she has valuable insight and you have no right to question why she wants to be here. but then she's also like ok but why ARE you if ur not
like. a student. and sera shrugs and is like. what i can't want to feel smart and important like the rest of you sometimes, i can't just
like, yeah, alright, you've got free pizza and it's warm in here and it's loud and i like loud, but it's nice, you know, being around you?
you just. you never try and tell me i'm being weird or crazy, like you don't always get me but you get me, right? pretending was fun
cass is just like. caught off guard bc she's just like. they're totally different people and she wasn't expecting that kinda answer at all
she winds up like stumbling over her words as sera is like. shivering a little bit in her way-too-thin sweater and being like. so you're.
you're not allowed to stay in the dorms anymore? and sera's like yeah couldnt last forever could it? dunno where i'll go now. doesn't matter
and cass just awkwardly is like . you could stay with me. for a while, i. have my own apartment, it's. i used to have a roommate but
sera like. just laughs and cass makes a face and sera's like nah i'm sorry you're trying to be. all generous and whatever? charitable? and i
here i am just laughing bc your shit roommate didn't realise what they had and up and dumped you bc u ironed your knickers or something
cass is like first of all i don't. iron my. you know what that's not important. i'm not trying to be /charitable/ i'm trying to.
[disgusted noise] what am i trying to do. i'm trying help a friend who i don't want to lose just because of some ridiculous circumstance. i /want/ to
have you stay with me. i don't usually want anyone to be around all the time but i suppose i've. grown accustomed to you so. i wouldn't mind
sera raises an eyebrow dramatically and gets that expression like she's going to make an awful joke but cass is just like "don't push it"
so she doesn't bc. she knows her enough by now to know. she just said a lot more feelings than she really can cope with. and it's enough.
so like. you can stay with me for a few weeks inevitably becomes a few months inevitably becomes cass's colleages like "why do u live w her"
and cass inevitably. no longer responding "i don't she's just staying here for a while" bc no. no she lives with her. they live together.
she sort of struggles through a half defensive "because she's my friend" and gives ppl a "and if u talk shit on her i'll kill you" stare
sera has this endless unrelenting crush on cass that cass kind of doesn't fully pick up on mostly bc she just doesn't see WHY sera would
and sera doesn't push it beyond her playful flirty stuff (which cass just thinks is her messing around) bc she doesn't think cass would ever
cass winds up super hella gay falling for her and doesn't even realise it until like. some party josephine & leliana invite them to
cass gets just absurdly drunk on really ridiculous girly drinks and it's a mess and she like at one point cries and has a gay crisis w josie
leliana walks in on the conversation and is like I CAN HELP and josie's like NO but it's too late. leliana is Helping. but it's ok. it works
like it's an unmitigated disaster, cullen is passed out in the back yard by the pool and like. cass tries to tell sera how she feels but
she winds up like accidentally scaring the shit out of her by coming up behidn her and sera trips backwards over cullen and into the pool
and like. she can't swim. and cass is like oh maker what the fuck and dives in (fully clothed) and drags her out and like. is just. soaking
they're both hammered and sera is coughing and cass is just holding her bridal style still and sera just like sleepily gazes up at cass's
panicked stricken face and is like "you saved me... you're sooooo beautiful" and cass is like "YOU ARE ALSO BEAUTIFUL. OH GOD"
sera's like "what" and cass is like "what" and cullen probably like. moans bc cass stepped on him. leliana's in the bushes watching
later they will speculate that she put cullen by the pool, possibly lured sera there, and told cass where she was, thus engineering this,
but she belligerently insists that there's no proof. anyway sera passes out. cass carries her home, tucks her into Her bed, and goes to
go sleep on the couch bc that's where sera normally sleeps. but sera like. grabby hands reaches out and is like "no. stay" and cass is like
"....okay" and like. crawls under the blankets with her and sera of course immediately just snuggles up against her and like. falls asleep
she's like. internally still completely freaking out but she's also really tired and she kind of has stopped caring bc she's smitten tbh
smitten and exhausted and drunk. so. it's fine. the next morning is somewhat less fine there is a lot of yelling and freaking out and then
like. seriously regretting the yelling bc they're So Hungover. and then they like. sera sits on the couch. cass makes eggs. normal morning
finally they both like. try to talk about it. at the same time. but also Not Talk About It and like they both deflect but also try and do it
ALL AT ONCE. so it's just a mess .and finally sera's like look ok i don't care i don't want you being all drunk whatever to. mess us up
cass is like what? no. i. i mean if you don't. feel the same way i'm sorry i don't assume just because i know you're. you like women that
sera's like. what you were serious?? you. you really meant it? no i. shut up. no. don't stop talking. ever. no. right now? what the fuck
cass is just like. forgive me if i don't actually understand what you want me to do right now and sera's like MAKER JUST? KISS ME? CAN WE
cass has not kissed anyone in like three years and she just like sits there and sera is like "alright so i need a yes or a something im not
just going to. go at you if this whole 'look at me, i'm a remarkably lifelike statue of cassandra pentaghast' thing is you not being gay"
cass is like no i. i . andraste's sanctified ass i am. this is gong to make the holidays very interesting next year. i mean. yes. please do
sera does this like. mock salute and cass rolls her eyes but then sera like just moves forward and sorta climbs onto her lap and that is it
cassandra is an embarrassing and overly self conscious girlfriend and like has no idea how to do that at all and sera's like I DONT CARE
stop fussing over getting it all perfect alright you're perfect you don't have to get me Just The Right Birthday Present or whatever just
please stop reading those weird lesbian advice blogs and just come watch this awful movie on netflix with me and throw popcorn at the screen
tho of course. sera is also. really self conscious about it sometimes and cass is constantly having to reassure that she's. not leaving?
like sera is just so Convinced that she's somehow not as good as cass bc like. she's a broke family-less dropout and cass is. not that.
they're very good for each other though bc they. you know. round all the corners, straighten the curves. touches my own feis... i'm so...gay
ALSO PLS IMAGINE CASS TAKING SERA HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, A MILLION PENTAGHASTS AND CASS IS LIKE, HA, SO, PRODIGAL DAUGHTER HERE. AND UH THIS
THIS IS MY TINY PUNK ROCK ELF GIRLFRIEND SHES 21 AND MAKES TERRIBLE JOKES AT INAPPROPRIATE TIMES AND SHE'S A BROKE DROPOUT SHE LIVES WITH ME
it's very scandalous and cass is honestly just. has never been so happy at a family occasion in her entire life. or. in general
everyone always expects cass to be something and keep this image and just not even be a real person really but sera does the opposite
sera likes cass because she's her. she's like messy bedhead morning breath cass and panicked 4am paper writing cass and mumbling drunk cass
she likes sweaty victorious lacrosse cass and dignified articulate debate cass and sick groaning on the couch wearing seras bee snuggie cass
like yeah. sera is the kind of girlfriend who is so insistent on being there and taking care of her and still smooching her that she gets
herself sick too and they are both just like. sera tweets dramatically about how they're both dying together. josephine brings soup.
both sera and cass look fuckin disgusting sick. so snotty and so blotchy and so terrible and miserable but they're still happy. tru wuv