#- jamie

[sysstuff-moments]

I'm bored lol

- Jamie

[wellthatschaotic]

about autism labels and stigmatization:

(tl;dr at the end)

so we've all heard the labels "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" right? and they're still so commonly used (though usually by allistic people or neurotypicals). but what I hear is "people who are basically allistic and need no help (high-functioning)" vs. "people who are incredibly disabled and deserve no bodily autonomy (low-functioning)". putting all autistic people in boxes just...doesn't work. we're all different, with different needs, whether that be sensory, physical, emotional, etc. and slapping labels on us isn't gonna help. (also, "high-functioning" typically means "really good at masking and people-pleasing even though that severely drains the autistic person's mental and emotional health")

we've also all heard the "no, they prefer to be called "people with autism" not "autistic people"" (i've even heard, in real life, someone tell me that autistic people prefer to be called "people on the spectrum.") which...i am autistic and i literally just referred to myself as an autistic person. you can't tell me what to call myself, especially as an allistic person. also, the "person first" label is arguably worse- it tries to disconnect the person from the disability. autism is a huge part of me and how i function, and i am proud of it- don't disconnect me from such a big part of myself. the "on the spectrum" label is even worse, because it deletes the whole disability from the statement. i am an autistic person. (also, think about how we say "disabled person" rather than "person with a disability")

stigmatization of autism really sucks too. i've told people i'm autistic and gotten (as well as "correction" of labels) apologies. what are you sorry for? my brain works differently, but that's not something worthy of an apology. yeah, it's a disability, but i can still be proud of it and of myself. i've also heard people talk to me differently, as if i'm younger or "less intelligent". i'm literally the same person as five seconds ago, why did you change your tone? (especially since none of these people know of the system so to them we are literally just one person.) i am a fifteen-year-old child, a sophomore in high school, you don't need to talk down to me because my brain works differently than yours.

autistic people are forced to mask to please and blend-in with neurotypicals because of this severe stigmatization. masking is learned at a very early age, that being yourself is "wrong" and "annoying" and you have to hide it and act "normal" (heavy air quotes on normal). i could go on a whole separate rant about the damages masking does to autistic (and generally neurodivergent) people.

i'm proud of my autism, and will off-handedly mention it occasionally. (ex. "why are you not making eye contact?" "oh, i'm autistic, eye contact is difficult for me.") and i hate all of the above responses.

you know what i do love though? the people who, when i say i'm autistic, or off-handedly mention it, don't react. they go "oh, okay!" or ask a (polite) question, or ask if i need any accommodations (typically i either say no or request a clearer tone of voice/clarification). they understand that i don't/rarely make eye contact (the extended eye contact that neurotypicals and allistics love gives me a literal headache), and sometimes speak slowly, analyze speech differently, and take some things too literally. they understand that my brain works differently, and don't judge me for it. be like these people please!

tl;dr: high/low-functioning labels are harmful to the community, person-first wording (people with autism rather than autistic people) separates us from a big part of ourselves, don't talk down to autistic people simply because of their autism or apologize that our brain works differently, masking is harmful. what you should do is respect autistic people and not judge them for their disability.

(since i know i'll be asked, the bolding and color changing is to attempt to help people with difficulty reading long chunks of text to differentiate the words better, i know it can be hard for me to read chunks of text)

[necr0wolfe]

What is perfect weather in your opinion. imo it's a cloudy day in the afternoon with a mild amount of wind. kinda calming for me.

H e a t

cold spikes our pain, and you can't swim when it's cold.

but like 80-90°f is so nice and comfy man,,

[sysstuff-moments]

Doodled this out a whole ago lol-- it's pretty funny in hindsight but at the time it was SO jarring 💀

- Jamie

[wellthatschaotic]

here's a post about

damages of autistic masking

(tl;dr at the end)

masking is the action (often unconsciously) of hiding certain traits to blend in with, in this case, allistics. masking is usually learned at a very young age, especially if the autism goes undiagnosed. masking can happen with any neurodivergency, this post will be talking about specifically autism.

there's a ton of different effects masking can have on an autistic person, typically mental and emotional. it can cause (speaking from personal experience) depression, anxiety, a need for people-pleasing and extreme fear of failure, as well as a whole slew of other mental issues. i didn't even realize i was masking or that it was harming me until i was diagnosed with autism, and subsequently learned what that meant.

my brother was diagnosed with autism at a young age, and he was offered many accommodations (both by our guardians and schools/other environments) while even when i presented similar traits, no one seemed to suspect autism (even me) until my middle school suggested it. they gave me a test, and my psychiatrist diagnosed me with autism and ADHD.

recently, i've been trying my best to break down that mask. to let myself have accommodations (such as music to self-regulate or block out bad sounds), and allow myself to stim in public (this one is really hard to un-learn, especially if i get a single weird look it sets me back pretty far. i still am only able to do little fidgets in public and feel self-conscious about those).

AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth) people often have a much harder time getting a diagnosis, as they present their autism differently than AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) people, whom many tests and studies about autism were based on. Sometimes AFABs have to mask harder, which increases the difficulty of noticing what's wrong. getting a diagnosis in general can be quite a privilege, especially if you are poc/queer/pretty much any group who is discriminated against.

autistic masking is hiding a huge part of yourself- imagine needing to change every small part of how you present yourself, hyper-analyze every tone and event and situation to make sure you're interpreting it right, sometimes putting yourself through immense mental, emotional, even physical pain (eye contact can give me a bad headache) to appear "normal" and to avoid "annoying other people". it's so hard to unlearn, as well, since it's a safety-based behavior. when you're belittled for being yourself since, well, as far back as you remember- not only from public places (school and things) but by your own parents and guardians, it's hard to finally allow yourself to express that.

we have a suspicion that heavy autistic masking since childhood is one of the causes of our systemhood and some of our splits, since the difference between our allistic mask and our true self was so great.

i am doing everything i can to be proud of my autism and show that i'm proud. i want to show neurodivergent kids that it's okay and beautiful to be yourself and live your truth.

tl;dr:

(autistic) masking is an unconscious behavior learned at a young age for safety, and can be very detrimental to the autistic person's health and well-being. it can cause a whole slew of other mental disorders as well. i'm trying my best to allow myself to unmask, even at home/in front of family, but it's difficult to unlearn. you're allowed to be yourself and be proud of your autism.

[necr0wolfe]

You know, canonically speaking Bruce Banner and the Hulk are part of a DID system too. The films don’t really address that, but that’s what it’s meant to be. It’s not even just the Hulk in there with Banner, you have a gangster type named Joe Fixit, a protector known as the Immortal, the Professor, the World-Breaker, the Savage, the Maestro, and a ‘Hulk-Hulk’ called Kluh, in addition to Banner and the Hulk. With Moon Knight, I could see them addressing Banner’s DID should they have the characters meet and discuss this.

This, yes, they are, absolutely agree.

My big question, though, is:

What sparked me getting this ask?? /lh /genq - Jamie

[wellthatschaotic]

what people don't get is like. it's not the word or thing that triggers me. it's the implication behind it, or the memory attached to it, or the history behind that thing. and sometimes, your brain will attach things in the weirdest ways. and that's not your fault.

this is for all the people with "dumb" triggers- i've said it before, i'll say it again; there are no dumb triggers. triggered by a specific shampoo scent? same hat! what about watching paper airplanes? yep! now, to an outsider, that's probably a "what the hell, why?" type thing, but...we didn't choose our trauma or triggers. we didn't ask for this, and we can't control it. truth is, brains are weird as hell and in the moment your brain probably went "this happened during [x]" and connected it in a panic, because in primal-instinct-trauma mode, survival is all that matters, and better safe than sorry, right? that means "if [x] happened during [y] then both are bad, avoid!" even if that's not actually true.

do NOT be ashamed of your triggers, they are NOT your fault. you are loved and deserve love. <3