You absolutely don’t have to respond to this but I thought I could share how I feel about sexual stuff as an ace person!
I also have complicated feelings about sexual stuff thanks to be raised religious so I’m not sure if my asexually comes from that or not. But I’ve learned I like sexual content as long as I see it as a fantasy if that makes sense? I enjoy reading smut and occasionally RPing and looking at drawn porn sometimes but I don’t think I want to actually have sex. it’s more that I like the idea of having it, I don’t actually want to have sex
I don’t know if this means anything to you but I thought I’d share in case it does!
Oh yeah I feel the same way! I fantasize but thats all the extent I'm willing to indulge in, I can't and dont really know if I'll enjoy having sex irl. Part of it was bc of religion ofc, but also things I've seen as a teen that happened in the family i think would've been considered as trauma? Not sure. Made me utterly repulsive of the idea of having bodily desires. OH and getting sexual comments from my religious teacher at the time definitely didn't help either
I remember I said i don't want to marry or even have sex bc we were talking about marriage and building families and he told me, with a smirk, that I'll change my mind one day once I get a taste of it
Looking back what a horribly inappropriate thing to tell your 15 year old student????????? Why are they like this....
I guess i enjoy in the idea of fictional sex bc they're not real and they can't really hurt me
NAME : maisie o'halloran | GOES BY : maisie | GENDER & PRONOUNS : non-binary ( they / them ) | D.O.B. : february 16th ( 24 ) | FACECLAIM : bella ramsey
known to be COMPETENT, STRAIGHTFORWARD, PRACTICAL, RESOURCEFUL, and ACTION-ORIENTED, but also RECKLESS, DEFIANT, VOLATILE, BLUNT, and ARGUMENTATIVE, they have been in intercept ALL THEIR LIFE, currently working as RIDE OPERATOR at astroland and TRAINER at out of this world fitness.
Digging Deeper.
THIS BIO CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING TRIGGERS : trauma
chapter 1 ( way down we go ) : whatever maisie was or could’ve been is ultimately irrelevant and dwelling on it is useless. at least, maisie considers it to be. when asked, they would tell you that they had a great childhood—and maybe they had. the biggest issue is that they can’t remember. beyond a certain point, their past is black, a blank slate where not even details exist. they know they had a mother, they know her name was niamh and that she loved maisie more than life itself. but maisie certainly can’t remember her, who she was, what she might’ve sounded like, or even the colour of her eyes or hair. it has all been swallowed up by a devastating event that maisie also cannot even remember, but one that haunts them in nightmares, in quiet moments, and the very anger and guilt that catapults them through their life.
chapter 2 ( not breathing just bleeding ) : as far as they can recall, they’ve always lived with their uncles in intercept. what maisie knows, has heard about, at least, is that for two weeks as a child, they and their mother disappeared without a trace, and only maisie came back. what the adults in their life had said, quietly, when they didn’t think they could hear, is that they don’t know what happened, that maisie didn’t speak for nearly a year after being found again. the personality that eventually emerges was a tug-of-war between highly combative and fiercely loyal and protective. especially lindsay, their mother’s younger brother, caught the brunt of their anger, their argumentative nature, their contrarian streak; not because he’d done anything specifically devastating to maisie from the moment they met—or the edge of maisie’s memories of him, regardless—but because they were so alike, and he often fuelled the fire with his own blaze. it isn’t that maisie didn’t love him. deep inside, maisie knows that it’s because they love him too much, and that the idea of losing him would be too much to tolerate for their young mind, so the safest thing would be was to push at him.
chapter 3 ( a black cloud hovers ) : his partner has always been the more safer of the two, and thus maisie managed to relax around santiago much more than they ever have been able to around lindsay. although maisie would do anything for santiago—and indeed, one word from santiago would often be enough to get maisie to reluctantly fall in line—and their love for him is undeniable, the fear of losing him isn’t as looming and present in the back of their mind. that aside, where maisie is unrestrained, santi is patient. where maisie is quick to shout, santi remains calm. it had been enough to get maisie to settle down, to open up more to santiago; for a while the three of them fell into a working domestication. to wick off much off maisie’s excessive energy, their uncles trained them like they’d been trained by their respective militaries, turning that unbound chaotic energy into a laser point of confidence, self-sufficience, and competence.
chapter 4 ( like a runaway train ) : but intercept is small, and intercept has always been the source of maisie’s troubles and traumas, and eventually the itching need to leave became far too much. they’d saved up enough money once they could legally drink, announced to their uncles that they were leaving, and left. for a few years, maisie made due working jobs that aligned with their interests and needs—the wicking off their intense energy—in cities far bigger than intercept, where they and their problems were far smaller. and although maisie made friends, and perhaps not even always the right friends, at the end of the day, they’d be alone in the apartment they shared with two others, the friction of still recurring night terrors rubbing hotter and hotter with the roommates that didn’t understand and frankly couldn’t care less to even try. of course, maisie never made it easier for anyone to make an attempt, the fact that they refused to even speak about anything that bothered them.
chapter 5 ( we brace for the crash ) : no, after two to three years of trying to make a life outside of intercept—away from family, truly—maisie found themself back in intercept more exhausted and lonely than they ever had been in the small town. there hadn’t been any announcement—a habit maisie had, really—they just showed up on their uncles’ doorstep again in late june, ill-prepared to explain why they had returned. all they know is that as much pain as intercept brings them, even if they can’t remember why but in the darkest of nights, dashed away again with the coming of morning, a bigger playground was just a different kind of pain, hallmarked by devastating loneliness without their uncles.
Extras.
( CONNECTIONS. )
santiago muñoz ( uncle )
lindsay o’halloran ( uncle )
lucero muñoz ( aunt )
( MEDIA. )
pinterest
soundtrack
( QUICK STATS. )
mbti : istp
enneagram : 6w5
moral alignment : chaotic neutral
temperament : melancholic-choleric
greek god : alastor
zodiac : scorpio sun ; aries moon ; capricorn rising
thinking abt how if Leo was captured and tied up to the point of not being able to move, he would immediately get flashbacks to when his wings were taken. He’s thrash to the point of tears from sheer panic. Even if nothing was done to him at that point, it would be the anticipation of living through being mutilated again.
the idea of people being transptsd/transharmed really bothers me . like i'm anti rq but i'm ESPECIALLY anti that . i'm going grey at 18 and my nervous system stopped working because of my trauma which is making it borderline impossible for me to hold a job . but i'm really glad larping flashbacks from getting beat or raped or neglected or bullied gives you guys "transid euphoria" (sarcasm)
send me " hc + a word ", and i’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my muse.
Eleanora does get hallucinations of Adam, just not quite how it's like in canon. She more gets fleeting glimpses of him in the shadows/in the corner of her eyes, sometimes feeling his breath on her neck or his hands on her shoulders/arms/waist, but he never actually speaks to her. His voice is saved just for her nightmares.
on the one hand i do know that once kids hit puberty or experience any sexual drive theyre gonna be consuming porn ofc ofc
but i think back on my experience finding porn at 5 and then going down a self destructive hypersexual spiral for years and im like....when does it not become traumatic? like is the key word here puberty? like is it when they actively seek it out???
The touch to her hair had her immediately stiffen, breath hitching painfully in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut tight. "P-please, um- please, d-d-don't-"
