welcome to the chaos @wellthatschaotic - Tumblr Blog

(updated) pinned post! if you're new here, please read (you have been warned /lh). it also contains our boundaries at the bottom. no real DNI, just don't be an ass

(formerly @absolutechaoscollective)

anyway, enjoy!

#pinned post #this may be subject to updates

are you SURE you want a hysterectomy? i mean, your uterus is perfectly healthy! what if you change your mind one day? what if your future husband wants kids? anyway, i noticed your bmi is a little high, have you considered gastric bypass surgery 😊

#ask to tag #sorry im Mad As Hell rn

chillyfeetsteak

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

officialbabygirl-deactivated202

you never really recover from being queer and autistic in middle school

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.

he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.

Icon.

lesmiserableslove

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

histry-buff-deactivated20170618

Hey quick question what the fuck

urulokid

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

butchious

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

is-the-post-reliable

RATING: 🟨 MOSTLY RELIABLE 🟨

Many articles make similar claims to those above. However, much of this information circulates without a clear source, and I have struggled to find reputable/high level sources for some of this information. Therefore, keep in mind that some of this may be exaggerated or potentially unreliable.

Obviously, I cannot account for the sexual of history of every human who has ever lived, but evidence does suggest that Victor Hugo had a… lively sex life.

From Medium: ‘Sex was so involved in Hugo’s daily life that one biographer wrote the following while describing a typical day in Hugo’s life:

“It was not unusual for him to make love to a young prostitute in the morning, an actress before lunch, a courtesan as an aperitif, and then join the also indefatigable Juliette for a night of sex.”

[…] Hugo claimed that on the wedding night, he and his wife had sex nine times.’

His encoded sex diary is referenced on Wikipedia, but when I found an English translation of the source, I couldn’t find where in it they were sourcing.

From Wikipedia: ‘He systematically reported his casual affairs using his own code, as Samuel Pepys did, to make sure they would remain secret.’

The source is listed as: ‘Hugo, Victor, Choses vues 1870–1885, p. 529, ISBN 2070361411, pp. 371, 521 (n. 1).’

I’ve found Choses Vues here in the original French and here translated into English. If anyone can find anything in here about the encoded sex diary, please let me know!

His ‘official mistress’ is likely in reference to Juliette Drouet.

From EBSCO: 'Since 1833, Hugo had maintained a liaison with a beautiful female actor, Juliette Drouet, who for twelve years followed a cloistered existence relieved only by six-week summer holidays with her lover.’

His 'unofficial mistress’ is likely in reference to Léonie d’Aunet Biard.

From The Common Reader: 'Overlapping was a seven-year affair with travel writer and Arctic explorer Léonie d’Aunet Biard, whose husband finally brought a police officer to the Paris hotel and caught them in flagrante.’

I have found articles that circulate the '200’ claim, but none that give a source for the information.

From Medium: 'Not only that but he bedded 200 women in this hotel in just two years.’

The claim that brothels were closed on the day of his funeral is again circulated frequently without claim. The only sourced part of the claim I can find is a second hand report that sex workers had 'draped their gentials in black crepe’.

From The Guardian: ’[…] when Hugo died the brothels of Paris closed down for a day of mourning, allowing all the city’s sex workers to pay their last respects to a loyal client. Literary critic Edmond de Goncourt claimed a police officer told him that sex workers even draped their genitals in black crepe as a mark of respect.’

And an estimated 2 million people attended his funeral procession.

From Funeral Conflicts in Nineteenth-Century France: 'Two million people came to see Hugo’s body lying in state at the Arc de Triomphe’

He’s now been dead for 141 years, although 133 was correct at the time of posting. How slutty those years are… I couldn’t say.

aloha-from-angel

My best interaction ever i love humans

cottoncandylesbo

the excitable hog

still not sure what time i should leave for work bc we're so much closer lmao

#so used to leaving like. Now. but don't wanna get there like 20min early

pollsforadults

Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?

100% guarantee I'll want a second date

It's significantly more likely

The odds don't change

It's significantly less likely

There wont be a second date. Absolutely not

Remaining time: 5 days 11 hours

Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r

(anon submission)

#COP???#not only will there not be a second date there would be a black eye and broken nose involved hopefully

trashcangimmick

our shoes are fucked so i went to order new ones but they're unavailable which means we have to go actually shoe shopping . hatred and killing

i knew benji was on the couch which is facing away from my bedroom (where i am) so i went "ohh where's my bug?" and he popped his little head up over the couch then disappeared again and appeared outside my door dsklfjkdf