i get really violent thoughts all the time. i'm angry & apathetic & impulsive. i've been getting worse & worse, i even got the cops called on me & i'm just 16. my parents are so embarrassed by me. my therapist says i'm paranoid & delusional & put me on anti-psychotics but i don't want to take them. they don't make me feel better & my head feels empty without all the voices i heard before, it leaves me too much time to think. i feel stuck & don't know what to do, i just want to be normal. - 64
Hey darling,
This must be really tough to have to go through. I know you are a good person though and that none of this is your fault at all. I am really glad that you are seeing a professional about this though. You may want to check out our page on anger management though. You are also saying that you don’t want to take your meds which I really don’t think is a good idea honey. I know they make all of that go away, but darling it’s worth it. The anger and violence are an issue and the medication helps with that issue. When you solve that issue like things are going to change and you experienced those changes and that’s why you don’t like taking your meds which is perfectly understandable. What I believe you need to do is figure out a way to solve that issue and take your meds. I am familiar with the whole unhealthy thinking problem and over the years I have helped solve some of those issues with some personal tips I have came up with myself. So really what I do is when I feel like I am thinking too much I busy myself. I do something that requires my focus and stops me from zoning out too much. You can come up with this yourself or you can also try out some of our distractions that you can find on some pages here and here. Also if you ever want to just talk you can always call a hotline, chat with a web counsellor, or even try out our live chat system. We also run weekly venting groups you may be interested in.
I hope this all helps. Feel free to message us any time. Best of wishes!!!!
-Ashlynn