#-ace

[valleyoffools]

I was doing research from scrolling on TikTok, and I fell into a rabbit hole of learning about DID.

It took me a moment, because I then thought of appearances I've seen on my ask blog I have. I then realized y'all are a part of a system (sorry, not sure of the names of the Alters yet)!

I just wanted to share that to you guys, because I felt as if leaning something new although it was in front of my face the whole time 😅

Though, I've got to ask (sorry if it's rude, if it is, you do not have to answer), what is it like for you all (or whoever is in position right now...still learning!) being apart of a system?

Staying anonymous for now, because I don't know if this is going to be rude... :[

oh god it's hard to explain HEL

for me it's been mostly fine? coexisting with the others isn't too hard, tbh, but Some Of Us i know have more nuanced and different opinions

[companionwolf]

Don't fucking look at this. I'm sorry.

Listened to something that's really out there for us erotica wise and I. I hate that I liked it. I hate that it felt familiar-- that being put in the POV of the person causing pain felt familiar and good. I hate that I listened to the whole thing. I feel sick and ashamed and just...awful.

I think someone in co-con got triggered. The rogue Reader came and took them elsewhere, somewhere deeper inside. Someone else is here now. I don't know who they are. They're very calm, aren't disturbed or disgusted. There's a sense of-- they're trying to be soothing, I think. Maybe.

...It's for me. The soothing. The love, the compassion. I don't understand. I am not a good person. I don't deserve it.

[theherbgardensystem]

if you ever wonder what Sunlight's like, she's like if Mabel Pines was an angel and 22 and really really mean and condecending and had a wife and kid and tumblr and called people faggots but not while fronting cause then they'd hear it and that's too mean. do you. do you see what i mean.

[theherbgardensystem]

imagine being neurotypical. like wow you have nothing atypical going on in your brain??? you've never had a persistent loneliness and feeling that no matter what you do, you can't fit in, which is only confirmed by your environment???? what a loser

[companionwolf]

An enforcer. Same as Answer was. That's what I am...I feel disgusting.

[companionwolf]

Someone in co-con feels like this GIF re: the summary I just wrote from the Antar log of our meeting on Friday.

[companionwolf]

I feel weird. Dizzy. There's some kind of feeling of fear and just... I don't know how to describe it. It doesn't feel good. I'm not sure what here's mine and what isn't. I think I'm going to try grounding.