#-quilt

[tswatch]

I mainly want to write it for closure. I never had any and it's just eaten away at me. I want to move on, but I feel like without any sort of closure I can't. Idk if I would even reply if she sent anything back honestly. I just want to move on.-quilt

Hi love,

The idea of closure is difficult. Does closure actually exist? Is closure something we can actually achieve, or is it just something we hopelessly pursue but can never quite reach? Because there will always be more questions, more things you want to say. I’d like you to read a few of these articles, which discuss the idea of closure:

http://www.the-siren.com/2014/02/21/closure-real-or-not-real/

http://elitedaily.com/dating/closure-myth-necessity/889706/

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/08/never-get-closure/

Again, a lot of these have to do with relationships, but I think they still apply to your situation!

If this is something you’ve been considering for a while, I’d go for it. Even though I don’t think closure is possible, it still may be worth a try. However, if she replies, I would try not to answer it, because I think that would just start a vicious cycle. Good luck, and please keep me updated!

<3 Jen

[tswatch]

For about a year now I've tossed around the idea of writing a letter to an old "friend" who seriously hurt me a while back. Mainly explaining to her how what she did hurt me. What I did because of it. Idk if I really should though. -quilt

Hi love,

On one hand, I think this may be good closure for you. It might give you the opportunity to release all of this anger you’re feeling towards her and allow you to finally move forward with your life. Having a lack of closure and not getting to say what you wanted to can really hold someone back from putting something in the past.

On the other hand, I’m worried that this might open up a big can of worms and that it might start a big fight, which then might make you feel even worse.

I would try writing a pros and cons list. Get a piece of paper, and on one side list the pros to writing your old friend a letter. On the other side, write down all of the cons. Whichever list is longer might help determine your decision!

Let me ask you a question. What do you hope to accomplish from writing this letter to your friend? If you want to do this because you want to release emotions you’ve been bottling up for a long time, then that might be a good reason to do it. If you’re hoping she will apologize, that is a bad reason to do it, because there’s no guarantee that will happen. If you’re doing it to get revenge on her, to try and make her feel bad, that’s also a bad reason to do it. Basically, in my opinion, I think you should write her the letter if you are doing it so you can move forward with your life and if you can handle the consequences (her getting mad, her saying/ doing even more hurtful things, etc).

I know that there are quite a few people that I’d love to write letters to, explaining to them how much they hurt me. But I know it’s not worth it. I know that it will probably just cause drama and that I’ll just get even more hurt. Instead, I focused on moving on with my life and finding new people who treated me the way I deserved to be treated!

At the very least, I think writing down how you’re feeling is a good thing. So go ahead and write that letter! Write exactly how you’re feeling and get all of those emotions out. Then see if you still want to send it after you write it. It may be more beneficial to write how you’re feeling and simply tear it up or burn it instead of sending it to her. That way you can still get all of your emotions out without the negative consequences of reviving any old drama. Ultimately it’s up to you, love.

Here are some links I think will help you:

http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com/blog/5-things-to-consider-before-writing-a-letter-to-your-ex/ (this is about writing a letter to an ex but it still applies)

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-simple-tips-for-confronting-someone-who-hurt-you/

http://gettingtozen.com/2012/04/4-ways-to-gently-let-someone-know-they-have-really-hurt-you/

Hope this helps,

<3 Jen