everyone in my life is (understandably) very insecure and you could say, yeah it really shouldn't be on Me to go to them directly and individually to reassure them that nothing i have ever said was with bad intentions, specifically and especially if they are someone i am (or have been) very close to and love, i would never say anything to purposefully mock them or insult them in any way. whether they are misconstruing a random post, piece of poetry/writing, out of context text message, something i said outloud, etc, if they are not coming to ME to make this concern or worry known, yeah it shouldn't have to be up to me to come to them to comfort them about it with a very simple message saying, hey i love you. i never want to ever hurt you. if i said something too crazy, harsh, intense, i didn't mean it maliciously, and i am truly sorry. do i have to go to everyone in my life to personally get the point through to them that, i forgot my entire life? within the last month i have worked endlessly to recover all of my own memories and feelings to put myself back together, almost entirely within my own mind? ive been making a lot of mistakes but if they're taking something i didn't even say TO them, personally? how am i supposed to know that? it's been happening with everyone, i mean everyone in my life, family, friends, acquaintances, who knows. i'm not someone who stays inside all of the time anymore, i don't have all the time in the world anymore. i'm technically homeless, they don't even know this. i'm reconnecting with old friends, family members..and this is to say—people around me aren't really understanding—i simply DON'T have regular ex-friends, ex-partners, i'm not estranged from my family, for any reason other than we lost touch for one reason or another, completely outside of me, or because I had a problem with Them, or..... i haven't lost anyone in my life to a big argument, or conflict, or...... i don't know what else. i don't have the same bad experiences as you.
you don't know how much i know you, love you, care about you. you are always on my mind. everyone i have ever met. whether you are in the front of my mind, or the back. i am constantly digging deep. i think about my past, i am always reminiscing. including the bad things. and as for you (general you, by the way) i have retained everything i know about you. i have read your posts, i have heard you tell me outloud, i have observed from afar, or from 1 inch away. i keep it with me. i retain it. i do not forget. i love you. i forgive, i don't forget. it has to go both ways to truly mend things, to move on, to..........to...
but i want to..i want to reassure them. and comfort them. if they're in pain, if it's because of something I did, or said? of course. of course.... in time... the time will pass anyways, won't it.
