Xiukai:”I’m telling all my friends not to shop here”? Tell them. You think I want five other yous running around the store? Have them call me, I’ll tell them. You think you hate this place more than me? I work here.
Shoichi:”I know the sale ended last week but can I still get a discount”? Do you even hear yourself? We can’t go backwards, time marches on. You want the sale from fifteen years ago too? When does it end, Diane? You want that price, you’re gonna have to go through the quantum realm with Antman.
Li Dailin:”Do you even know how much money I spend here”? More than you should. The meatballs ain’t that good. Save your money. And my time. It doesn’t matter how much money you spend here, we don’t thank our donors, this isn’t PBS!
Chloe:”Every time i come here my order gets messed up”? Then stop coming. Make my day. Every time you come here the order gets messed up? Sounds like you’re making the mistake. Look inward. You’re ordering the wrong shit.
Mai:”I’d like to speak to your manager”? I’d like to speak to your mother. Tell her she should be embarassed. She raised someone to act like a baby in public. You wanna tell the manager? Please. The manager doesn’t know what’s going on, haven’t you ever worked anywhere before?!
Daniel:”I know that’s not right, I used to work here”? Well things change. Sorry they didn’t run it by you first. You used to work here? Well, I used to be happy. Then you walked in.
Hart:”Can’t you just check in the back”? Can’t you accept we don’t have it? The back ain’t some magical place. What do you think is back there? Santa’s workshop? The only thing back there is a clipboard with our schedules and some brownies Darcy brought in.
Sua:”This is cheaper at other stores”. Then shop there, why are you here? Do you need directions? I’ll get you some, I’ll call you an uber. Do you think I set the prices? I’m a seasonal employee.
Nicky:”You workin’ hard or hardly working“? I”m hardly laughing. I’m already at work, I don’t have time for a second job, pretending you’re funny. Why don’t you tell me something I don’t hear every day? Like thank you.
Rozzi:”You should open up more registers”, and who’s gonna work ‘em? You think I’m the only one ringing you up because I called dibs? You want me to clone myself? Or are you saying you want to apply? You see we’re shorthanded, where’s your resumé?
Luke:”I can’t believe they have you working thanksgiving”? I can’t believe you’re shopping. Why do you think I’m here? It’s because of you. I have to stand here for fifteen hours so you can yell at me instead of your family. I work retail, I don’t even remember what thanksgiving is!
