#...the rest

[naoto]

They have this conversation every hour

[habeascorpseus]

Someone asked for a link to this AU. Here you go

Basically, it's an ice rink au in which the cast of the dream smp are either employees or customers at an ice rink (inspired by my former job at an nhl owned rink).

Roles are as follows:

Tommy - hockey player

Tubbo - figure skater (ice dancing, specifically)

Dream - hockey coach and the hockey manager(tommy's, specifically)

George - junior figure skating instructor and the skating manager

Sapnap - junior hockey instructor

Bad - hockey player for the rink's team

Skeppy - newest ice tech in training. Somehow hasn't managed to run over anyone yet with the zamboni

Wilbur - snack shack/front desk guy who sometimes does skate counter

Techno - skate shop, the only guy who knows how to use the ancient fucking skate sharpener™, unofficial rink medic

Philza - general manager

Sam - operations manager

Ranboo - skate counter (he can't skate, unfortunately)

Eret - skate counter and teaching assistant for junior figure skating lessons

Niki - junior figure skating lesson instructor

Fundy - skate counter

Quackity - skate shop (he and techno hate each other)

Lazar - ice tech (Zamboni, morning)

Vikk - ice tech (Zamboni, evening)

Schlatt - general manager for their sister skate rink

Other members of the smp/cc's exist in this au as well, as either customers or a rotating cast of of miscellaneous interns and part-time employees

Other fun little trivia:

- wilbur likes to work the latest shifts, often being the one to close up for the night.

- he's developed a close friendship with techno, who will hang out after his shift is over until wilbur takes his 30. They often grab dinner together, after which techno will leave and wilbur will return to work

- techno is, as stated before, the only one who can work the ancient skate sharpener behind the skate counter without breaking anything. He's complained endlessly to management about it. Hes starting to wonder if management is capable of hearing at all

- ranboo cannot, and will not, skate. He is 6"6' and knows that at his height if he falls on the ice he could seriously hurt himself and he is absolutely fine with never touching the ice ever. When he does, he uses the buckets. It's hilarious and very sad

- techno is the only one who can handle every skating related injury without flinching. Several times he has had to pick up fingers, which he is completely unfazed by. No one wants to ask how. Everyone is terrified

- he challenges wilbur to handle the next injury on his own without running to him for help. Wilbur accepts his challenge. Unfortunately the next injury is a very broken leg. Wilbur takes several sick days to recover

- tommy and tubbo are not what anyone would call a likely friendship but they are. This is learned when they are caught sword fighting with broken hockey sticks and then fervently lie about it on the spot. Philza is tired

- tommy is invited to play in friendly employee hockey matches. Nobody thinks he can hold his own until they see him nearly cave wilbur's knees in with his hockey stick

- wilbur enjoys hijacking the rink speakers to play his music

- when fundy was first hired, his trainer was wilbur, and during training wilbur would joke about fundy being his son. Now months later, fundy is no longer training, but the joke has stuck. Fundy craves death

- tommy and dream have a habit of encouraging the other's worst qualities- that is, dream inspires tommy's aggression, and tommy further's dream's competitiveness. It has gotten tommy hurt before. Wilbur hasnt trusted him around tommy since.

- wilbur has become tommy's english tutor somehow

- phil regularly invites wilbur and techno over for dinner

- techno is good at literally every ice sport. It is terrifying. How do you win a curling match violently

- dream, sapnap, bad, and george have a monthly speed-skating race, roller derby style. Philza contemplates allowing alcohol in the workplace

- sam singlehandedly paints every floor indicator and sign. He is frustrated that nobody seems to be able to read and adhere to them other than the dyslexic junior figure skater

- If wilbur is asked one more time where the bathroom is when the sign is literally right in front of everyone's fucking faces he's going to stab someone with a skate

- ranboo has, can, and will cry when confronted by karens

- eret deliberately ignores any and all attempts parents will make to give their children the "masculine" and "feminine" skates. They are literally just skates. No don't change the size so you can have the pretty ones what the fuck is wrong with you

- quackity is currently in the midst of a prank war with the rest of the staff. Phil is so fucking close to firing them all and starting from scratch

- and finally

- everyone thinks that the rink is family owned. Nobody knows what to think about this. Phil is secretly pleased

Also here's an outline for a fic I may or may not get to ever writing but I wanted to give myself ideas;

Anyways sorry for such a long post but yeah here you go guys! Hope you liked it

[alubrickwarrior-blog]

Texts from last night Hellsing addition. Hopefully nobody has done these particular mashups yet.

Part 1/?

Next: 2 , 3

[incorrectmatsuquotes]

Chibita: Hey, Osomatsu. Remember how we became friends?

Osomatsu: Yeah…

Chibita: [in flashback] Gimme back my oden, ya big dickweeds!

Sextuplets: [in flashback] We’re tormenting you!

Chibita: Actually Osomatsu, I was talking about the part after that…

Osomatsu: Oh! Oh yeah, now I remember!

Chibita: [in flashback] I mean it, ya idjits! Give it back!

Sextuplets: [in flashback] We’re still tormenting you!

Osomatsu: Man! Good times!

Chibita: No, ya idjit! I mean the time I saved you from that bully!

Osomatsu: Huh… no. No, I don’t remember that.

Chibita: But I was all heroic and stuff…

Osomatsu: Hey, remember the time me and my brothers took your oden?

Chibita: [in flashback] Waaah!

Sextuplets: [in flashback] Tooorment!

Chibita: Remind me why we’re friends again?

[incorrectmatsuquotes]

Osomatsu: (on phone with Iyami) Fine. I, Matsuno Osomatsu, have a stupid face, stuck on a big, stupid head, with a tiny, stupid brain, and stupid is my favorite color. The other sextuplets: (snickering behind wall)

[incorrectmatsuquotes]

Oh my God! You killed Chibita!

Probably all the Matsuno brothers at some point

[incorrectmatsuquotes]

Karamatsu: I'm not sure I know how to spark the interest of school children. Better Google it.

Choromatsu: What exactly are you looking up?

Karamatsu: [Types and reads aloud slowly] How do I get twelve-year old girls excited?

Everyone: Noooooo!!! [They jump up from their seats and run over to the computer to stop him]