#062415

[michellegrace100hd]

Day 5: Bought some cute stationary!

[writtencontent]

When you seem like a wannabe, but you're actually fam.

[mynameislean]

#062415 | FOOD IS AMAZING! Sweet baby Jesus! Haha. 😂😍🐽 | #foodtography #foodventure (at Locavore Kitchen & Drinks)

[trytasmilemore]

Today was a rather heavy day. One of my kindergarteners was complaining all day about being hungry and shared with me during snack time (in which he didn’t have a snack to eat) that he pretty much only gets to eat at school mealtimes because his mom is unemployed and doesn’t have money to provide food or snacks for him to bring to school. Things started to click as I was reminded of something he said during a field trip yesterday as well, “I don’t want to share my water with him because my mom used her money to buy it.” At first I thought he was just being selfish but now after hearing what he shared with me today, I can understand why he might not be willing to share these rare gifts his mom is able to provide. Since I don’t know his home situation, I don’t know if what he was saying was legit or if he was just trying to get some sympathy for not having a snack, but from my experience, most children at that age don’t often lie about things like this. They’ll exaggerate in order to show off or to get another child that hurt them a little in trouble, but when it comes to home-life they can be brutally honest without even realizing the information they’re sharing. :/ I was torn when I heard him because, being a staff, I’m not allowed to share my own food with the students and I didn’t know if we had anything set aside for situations like this. At my morning site (my main site) we always try to make sure that our students are well fed because of the demographic of families we serve but here I felt so powerless. All I could do was talk with my supervisor to see if anything could be done but even she wasn’t sure what to do either because school protocol dictated that the kids needed to bring food from home if they wanted snacks. *sigh* things just don’t ever get easier when serving in the education system. It also didn’t help that my group partner was a total jerk to our students today. Her language and conduct was so inappropriate I could hardly believe what I was hearing and seeing. She told a bunch of kindergarten/first graders that they were full of BS because they were a bit rowdy. It was a hot day and when students asked to get a drink she wouldn’t let them because she didn’t believe a kid could be thirsty and tired when they weren’t being active during tag. Now, it was her first week of working with the kids but freaking what the heck is this? How did this high school kid even get hired for this position with such an attitude? When she started on Monday I was already feeling iffy because she never smiled once and put off a cold vibe, not just when I tried to converse with her, but even with the kids. But now today I am pretty certain that working with kids is NOT what she should be doing. This whole afternoon I felt like I was on damage control trying to counter her douche-y-ness. I just remember running around and trying to have conversations with or hugging or playing with each child in my group to make sure they were still having fun and still feeling cared for after her whatever-it-was. At this point I’m hoping that she isn’t just a total jerkface and that her attitude and grumpiness was a result of her being on her “week” because I don’t care who you are, treating kids this way is not okay.

But despite all this, today I’m thankful for the opportunity to remain in this dissonance as I’m preparing to go on my internship in BKK. And I’m also thankful for some new ministry partners I got this past weekend.