#092816

[sumisu-personal]

This morning I woke up on the opposite side of the bed. 

Like, I flipped 180 degrees.

I still don’t know how it happened.

[jerarj-blog]

I had originally wrote the following the night we went to Universal Studios Hollywood Horror Nights. You were sleeping in your bed and I had been exiled to the couch by your parents. You tried sneaking out to cuddle but your shitty fucking dogs ruined everything. I’m FaceTiming you now from my little corner in my room at the Westin in Denver and just remembered I had wrote this and should post this cause it would fit perfect. It’s a bit more casual, but straight from the heart. I remember you texting me “Just write all your gay shit down and tell me in the morning.” And that is just what I did. So here it is:

Ok so like I’m just gonna type whatever pops into my head right now cause you said to type this shit out. I apologize if it’s long as fuck tho. I just have a ton of shit going through my brain like always. But I just wanna say that I’m absolutely crazy about you. When I wake up you are the first thing I think about. I check my phone hoping to see your name. When I go to sleep you are the very last thing I think about before I knockout. All throughout the day I’m just thinking about you trying to think of all the gay shit that I can do for you. You are always on my mind and I can’t shake it (nor do I want to). I have fallen in love with you. Madly in love. I knew that we had something special after our first date when we hugged at the end and you lightly rubbed by back it was either an accident or a sign (; I had fallen for you almost instantly. That night I had talked to my mom about you for like 30 minutes. Of course she gave me the lecture about not going crazy about you and being careful not to get hurt again but as usual I took my moms girl advice and threw it out the window. As we continued going on dates and hanging out, I came to find this beautiful, amazing girl who is funny, cute, savage af, straight forward and honest, determined and passionate, and who has a good head on her shoulders and a kind heart. I still look at you everyday like its the first time I’ve seen you. I am just awestruck by your poise and the way you carry yourself. I can honestly say that I have never felt how I feel about you with ANY other girl. I have this feeling in my chest this deep rushing and aching feeling whenever I miss you or I am thinking about you. I just don’t know what it is but I’m p sure it’s a good thing.

I don’t ever want you to worry again about you being mistreated or misled. I don’t ever want you to be worried about having someone to talk to or go to. I don’t ever want you to worry about anything ever again. I want to be here to love you and to help you with the obstacles that life throws at you. I want to build a beautiful future with you in it. I love everything about you. I love when you scratch the back of my neck when I am driving. I love when you pout under my pillow when you get hella salty. I love how we laugh at all the same dumb shit. I love how well you treat me. I love your post sex ratings. I love when you get mad when you are driving and cutely yell at people. I love how excited rain makes you. And I just love loving you. But most of all I love our gender fluid cactus/ succulent. And I am gonna keep on loving you the way you have always deserved for as long as I possibly can. I just want to be able to give you everything you deserve.

That’s all I wrote, but I could write a million words more. I love you.

[frnshnl]

Celebrated my 23rd birthday with Korean food 👍🏽

[rounove]

Art block.

[cmctransmedia]

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[brokencatharses]

I'll burn myself out for you.

[someone-hear-my-screams]

I took my psychology test today!

I think I did really well on most of it, it's just the short essay ones really got me. We had an optional assembly today, an I decided not to go, so I just stayed in the class that I was in. The only people who stayed were me and this other guy that's like a teacher helper....but he's also a student, if that makes sense. He looked at me really weird, I don't know why, so I just awkwardly said "hi...??" And sat in my seat and didn't look at him the whole rest of the class. I had math today too, one of my old friends is in that class. Today she looked at me like she was surprised to see me. We haven't talked for like 3 years, which is alright with me, she probably had better friends now. But it's weird, we used to be "best friends" and now we don't even look at each other. But we're not mad at each other, our lives just didn't coincide. I haven't talked to S in almost a week now, she's probably mad at me. I don't know... I have a lot of things to do tomorrow, and I'm dreading it all, but whatever...