#1-7-18

[its123am]

1-7-18 (Sunday)

[8arms-nothingdone]

I liked the red tracing thing so I’m sticking with that. I’m already learning so much from it, such as whenever you draw something and think “No, that’s not right, the human body can’t look like that, that’s too crazy” you’re absolutely wrong.

1-7-18

[artiya-il-muriel-chamuel-blog]

Mira

Ni me hables.

Coming here is such an amazing experience but i told Zoila i dont fuck with your son 😂

I just don’t right now because he thinks he can talk to me while he’s talking to someone else like if you’re trying to be my friend BE my friend don’t flirt bc then I’m gonna leave you on read and then I’m the mean one but no thank you if she’s not responding to you that’s not my problem 😭. I mean i get bored too and you KNOW that like don’t try and entertain me because then I’m gonna have a little fun but then as soon as i start it i remember nahhhhhh you don’t deserve my friendship if you’re going to take advantage of it like that but then part of me is like why do i careeee i can get my little fun and dip but then it’s like nah I’m okay i have a hand i have my two vibrators . I’m good. Ugh but this year i won’t necessarily hunt but buying those restraints at imaans sex demonstration party has got me ITCHING to use them. It’s been 2 months since I’ve last had sex 😪 and I’m always in this internal struggle of, invite random tinder boy over?? But then i just pull out my nice friend and like not even 30 seconds later I’m in bliss. Getting a vibrator was one of the best birthday gifts i could’ve given myself its like a dildo/vibrator but i use it more as a tease than inserting it bc it’s like nah i would rather a real nice hot dick. Ugh. I’m ovulating 😂 but back on track. Fuck him . Just because I’m hanging out with your mom and grandma doesn’t mean I’m wanting to be back with you. I’m just friends with her and she even says that you’re a fool for running away but i can’t blame you honestly. I’ll be in another state for two years then I’m gonna be in school again for another two years then I’m going to the peace Corp for two years that’s 6 years of randomness and of course you wouldn’t want to be through that. So all i heard was i can’t do this. But it’s okay I’ll survive. I just wanted consistent dick 😭 with some emotionnnnn but you said that wouldn’t help you move on and how I’m detached and blah blah blah it’s true though the i love you sex is soooooo much better than come here i just want to feel you inside me sex. 😪. Whatever. Orlando here i comeeeeee.

[artiya-il-muriel-chamuel-blog]

Pain

You appear only when it suits you.

When your heart is heavy and you are confused.

Or maybe it’s because you’re bored beyond belief and it’s your job to stir the pot.

You know not what you do.

You believe you’re a ghost whereas to me your stone and alive and right in front of me

But that too is my fault for digging and digging until i found you and ressucitated you back to life

You cross my mind from time to time and the days you are silent are my best

But days where you show up green and true

I can’t help but continuously think about you.

[artiya-il-muriel-chamuel-blog]

3:00 am

For as longgggg long as i can remember

It’s been December

No sun no shine something lalalaaaaa we weren’t grownnnn.

I know there’s a song called 3 A.M. but it’s 3 A.M. and i can breathe again. Waking up randomly is so weird sometimes it’s like do i remember my dream is it done?

No dreams today thank God .

Happy Hour again until i sleep .

Mm.