6 years in recovery
On October 27th, 2014, I decided to fully commit myself to recovery from my eating disorder.
Today, October 27, 2020, I have been committed to recovery for 6 years.
The world is a mess right now, but I can honestly say that I am not. My hard work did pay off. I built up enough resilience, that right now I am surviving through difficult times without my eating disorder. I am so proud of how far I've come.
When I committed to recovery six years ago, I had no hope. In fact, I only decided to commit because a friend threatened to stop being my friend if I didn't. I told myself I could give it a try, and if being recovered sucked, I could go back. I honestly didn't believe it would even be possible for me to recover. I didn't really think I'd live to see the summer of 2015.
But I did live. And I kept fighting. And even though I still felt pretty hopeless, the idea of recovery started to be something worth fighting for. I had moments of good here and there, and I started to be able to imagine what a life without my eating disorder might look like.
My eating disorder is not gone, but I do not have an eating disorder. I will always be at risk. I will always have to be careful in certain ways. But I am nolonger plagued by shame or guilt or obsessive thoughts, and it is so, so worth it.
