Transgender day of remembrance was last week on the 20th. It’s a day when we remember and honor everyone that we’ve lost to anti-trans violence and hate crimes.
TW: Mentions of violence, transphobia, and hate crimes. It is not very descriptive but please be careful if this is a sensitive topic for you. Stay safe!
Transgender Day of Remembrance was created in 1999 by Gwendolyn Ann Smith, a trans woman, who initially wanted to memorialize her friend Rita Hester (a trans black woman) who was murdered in 1998. Since then, the “holiday” has grown tremendously and in 2010 Trans Day of Remembrance vigils, memorials, and events were seen in more than 185 countries throughout more than 20 countries.
In 2016, 23 trans people were killed. In 2017, that number grew to 29. And so far in 2018, there have been 22. And these are just the documented deaths. I’m sure there are countless others that never made the news because people hid them or because the person hadn’t come out publicly yet.
(I would pause and watch this video made by GLAAD. It’s an interview of 3 trans women about Trans Day of Remembrance. After that, I’m going to talk a little about what we as a community, or as allies, can do to help).
So as the last woman said, we should not be getting used to this kind of violence. The level and frequency are just unacceptable. There’s no better word for it. But we can do something about it. As allies, whether you’re part of the community or not there’s a lot you can do.
First, use people’s pronouns! Ask for them if you’re not sure and do your best to use them consistently. If you mess up just apologize, correct yourself, and move on.
Second, try to use gender-inclusive language. That helps normalize it and it makes the trans community feel more comfortable. Instead of he/she, use they. Instead of welcome ladies and gentlemen, say welcome folks or welcome everyone.
Third, stand up for people. If you hear someone using slurs or misgendering someone, correct them. It can be hard to correct someone yourself especially if you’ve only just recently come out so knowing that someone has your back means a lot. And if you think something worse is going to happen than harsh words please tell someone. First, check on the person and make sure they are ok. Thinking you’re alone can be so scary. If you have concerns about someone possibly harming anyone (in this club or not) there are a lot of people you can talk to. I always remind people that they can talk to me and my other GSA board emembers or our club sponsors. The dean or the principal are also good people to talk to because they can be discreet and leave you out of it when they have a conversation with someone.
We need to band together and put an end to transgender violence. It has come too far and too many people are dying because of it. So today, take a stand. Take a stand against a bully. Against a stranspobe. Or simply stand up for someone. Remind them that you’re there for them and that you have their back. Trust me, it will mean the world to them.
