Prompt: @yarrayora said: rotg and gravity falls crossover where jamie and the pines twins are in the same summer camp their parents sent them thinking they'll like it cause it's "quirky" but they think it's fake and boring.
A.N: Oppse, i made it not fake and boring because I apparently am physically incapable of doing so. However, I hope you accept the twist that it’s what the camp owners think is ‘fake and boring’ to regular humans as they try to make a Fake!cryptid camp with Real!cryptids.
When his mother had told him that he was going to an overnight, two-week summer camp this year, he was excited. Usually their summer camps were of the day-trip variety, where they would go to the local community center for theater or soccer or, for one notable summer, field hockey. This would also be the first time Jamie was going anywhere without Sophie, who was the blonde lamprey to his social life fish. He was excited for the change to go somewhere without her. None of his friends had younger siblings, and he wouldn’t begrudge them the joy of being a temporary big sibling, he would very much like the joy of being an only child again. Even for a little while.
His mom had looked at the camp and decided it was ‘cute’ and ‘quirky’ enough for him. The tagline involved hunting for Bigfoot, and while he was initially interested in this, further perusal of the web site had his hopes plummeting to the Cretaceous–Paleogene boundary. They mixed about four different cryptids into one - none of them being even remotely accurate to the region. There was even an outright assassination of the virtue of tall tales being pivotal to the development of the american frontier and the modern day effects of the groundwork they laid. All in all, it looked like a money-grabbing attempt at a summer camp for kids who were a little too invested in cryptids while also giving a side-eyed sly wink and nod towards the parents.
His initial trepidation was increased to a level three suspicion and fear when he learned his mum wasn’t driving him out, but that a bus was coming to pick him up. He tried to ask his mother to withdraw him. The camp sounded bad. The transportation to the camp sounded sketchy. Even the little tooth fairies that heard about this two-week adventure were shaking their heads and chirping their worry. When a mythical creature expressed doubt and concern, usually it was a sign you should listen. His mother didn’t. Jamie, being the clever fourteen year-old he was, started drafting rescue procedures should he miss any of his radio check-ins with his friends.
When the day arrived to actually be picked up for the camp, the level three was increased to a level eight as soon as the bus pulled up to his house. After being forced onto the bus, he was hit with a musty, rarely-used bus smell and the eager chirping of a brunette who gestured for him to sit with her. She was absolutely covered in glitter and he knew without a doubt that she would not only get along with Sophie, if his sister were here, but they would probably eat a glue-glitter-koolaide smoothie as a best friend initiation thing.
He sat down with them. He really didn’t have a choice as she pulled him into the seat next to her. Across the aisle, what looked like her brother looked up from his journal and offered a sympathetic smile.
“Jamie.” Jamie said, leaning over the aisle to shake hands, and maybe try to escape.
“Dipper.” The other boy said, and, with a slight tilt of his head gestured for Jamie to join him. His sister was chattering away and rummaging around in her bag, so he took the opportunity to slide over.
Dipper wasted no time in sharing his journal with Jamie. The journal had a crude map drawn on it, along with pinpoints where they stopped to pick up people. Some had names. Others had descriptions. Dipper added Jamie’s name to one in the Pennsylvania area. Dipper and what Jamie assumed was his sister’s name appeared on a pinpoint in Oregon.
“Oh, jeez, how long did it take you two to get here?” Jamie asked.
“An hour.” Dipper replied, prompting an awkward giggle out of Jamie.
Dipper was silent as he pointed to the bus driver. Jamie hadn’t taken stock of the man before, but now… he was realizing he needed to do what Nick was always harping about and pay attention to his surroundings. His skin crawled as he met the driver’s eyes in the mirror.
“It took us an hour. It’s been that way with each kid.”
They arrived before nightfall. Somehow. They had been on the bus for eight hours, and he had left his house at two in the afternoon and it should have been closer to ten or eleven and night and it was instead three in the afternoon and nothing was making any sense. Upon exiting the bus, Dipper’s sister had made a beeline for the supposed camp counselor. They ignored the bus driver as he got off the bus and disappeared into the forest behind them.
“Mabel, Don’t-” Dipper’s protests fell on unlistening ears as his sister promptly began grilling the counselor.
Three days in, Jamie and Dipper got into an argument over folklore which turned into an argument about reporting experiences so as to not alienate the public. They ended up dragging in three camp counselors and six small tooth fairies and the rest of the campers into the argument. The camp counselors were trying very, very hard not to make eye contact with the fairies while they tried to coax Jamie and Dipper into swapping out language like ‘there are’ with ‘allegedly’ and ‘were reported’ and ‘an individual believed they saw’.’
“Well, then all sixteen of us campers believe we saw Mabel making out with her boyfriend in the lake.” Jamie replied, watching the despair on the counselors face.
“Alright, for statements like that, it should be-”
“Oh cool. So it’s perfectly correct to say we saw Mabel making out with her boyfriend, Mermando the merman, out in the lake while we took casts of the bus driver’s mothman footprints.”
