I want to get day drunk
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I want to get day drunk
5 years after... 7/30/20
Hello there, old blog!
It’s been more than 5 years now since my last blog post and I can honestly say that it’s been a crazy journey! Well, that’s just the understatement of the decade considering that we are all experiencing a global pandemic now. (wow.. imagine reading that in 2015. So crazy!!)
I’m actually here because I accidentally forgot my password to my other tumblr account and I tried to retrieved it by email but apparently I had this one opened instead haha. Anyway, just wanted to check in and update this. It feels good reading a post from your past self. :)
Now I just realize that time heals (some) of your scars and problems. I am actually embarrassed by how little my problem was last 5 years ago compared to now. But it doesn’t mean that I regret feeling those emotions. It’s still part of me somehow, I guess my world just got bigger and I grew older too. Hence, bigger and mature problems lol. Anyway, this is me hoping that everything would go back to its normal state.
I can’t even fathom and explain how your country is doing at this current time. Your government feels like a joke and your country’s debt have been just extended to your grandchild’s grandchildren :( It’s sad that at this current time, press freedom is being limited, corruption is highly prevalent and health workers are being degraded because they do not seem to be the priority of the government. People are currently dying but you can’t see/feel the hope that your government would help you. It came to the point where you’re paranoid to walk outside of your own house afraid that you may caught the virus.
I don’t even know how we can survive all this without the release of the vaccine but I just hope and pray that it is soon enough.
But thankfully, 2020 got a little better because this was also the week tswift released her folklore album (5 days to be exact) and I’ve never been more distracted to my work (haha I honestly can’t think straight). This may be her best work/album/lyrics to date and I’m honestly so thankful for her!!! I am so inspired that I could literally cry for ages. Have you ever experienced that? Idk.. I just love her and her ability to connect with other people all over the world!!!
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There goes your update for this year. Here’s to the rest of the year spent in a quarantine :(
To my future self, hope you’re doing good or even better! Can’t wait to meet you :) You got this, make us proud x
🐈 is sitting next to 🐀 and she sits in front of me I can't turn away because or tables are pushed together I don't want to be here I want to disappear I've been trying to block my view of them but I can hear them whispering I just want to disappear I want to dissolve and melt away I don't want to be here next to them the least they could do is show a little fucking sympathy and not fucking kiss in front of me
I might consider going to church. Maybe that'll help. Who knows.
ugh I'm just so frustrated because it's like I don't know what I want. I still love you so much but I don't think you're in a position when it would be good for me to be with you, but I'm so scared that you're going to move on and still leave and forget about me and that scares me honestly because I still don't know if there's really anyone out there who's going to make me happy in the way you do/did. like part of me wants to keep searching but then another part of me thinks/knows that it could be pointless
11:05am 🌿
god i'm so fucking stupid i fucking hate myself rn
dont wanna go to class
dont wanna go to work
i just wanna lay in my bed forever