#11-24-2012

[that-creepy-kid]

I'm really happy.

I don't post much about my life that isn't negative,

but things are really great.

Even if ruts exist and life is hard;

You exist and life is great.

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

I've spent far too long feeling like this.

It needs to change. But it won't. It hasn't for 12 years, why would it stop now?

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

What if I went now?

Like right now. No one would even know. No one is home, I'm completely alone. I could. Just take that 20 minute drive. It would be so simple. and no one would know until Friday at the earliest. It's perfect... I should. But I can't, there's some things I have to explain to someone first. 

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

I actually got on the highway to drive to the bridge.

I almost did it. But I fucking pussied out. It'd be too noticeable if I wasn't at school tomorrow. So I'll do it one day over the summer. When everyone is gone and no one will notice until band camp at the earliest. I can't wait for that day to come.

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

When the one who promised you so many times that they wouldn't, gives up, you know that it's your time.

And that time has come. So I'm going to be pushing you away, and I hope you will understand why. I don't want it to hurt you. Assuming that it would. So this is goodbye to everything, my dears. Here's looking back at all the times we shared.

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

So...

Yeah. I take that "just friends" thing back. I'm also used for physical intimacy.

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

And don't worry. I'll stop.

Just give me about 177 days, ok?

[justonemorefortheroad-blog-blog]

I don't need your looks of pity

and your threats of violence don't help. They're just annoying. And no, I can't fucking talk to any of you because none of you would ever fucking get it. What would telling you do? Get it spread around faster? No. I'll just stick to the blade and pills, thanks.