It seems like I have this habit of getting gifts for someone very dear to my heart, one of the most personal gifts I could give, right before our friendship/relationship ends.
When I was hard on myself about this when it first happened, I kept thinking to myself that I was trying to when him again with this awesome gift. But now that it’s happened again, I thought about it again, and it was never like that.
I never saw it ending. I never tried to win them over with gifts. I spoiled the hell out of these two, always, and I continued to because I saw the best and greatest in them and they deserved nothing but the same that they gave to me and seemed to me.
I was cleaning out my room the other day and I saw it. Its always so personal that I can’t just regift it or i can’t return it because it’s been personalized and it’s just meant for that person. I used to get frustrated because I was bitter about it, saying that it was a waste of my money and thought to get it and not even be able to give it to them or return it or sell it or anything but to keep it or throw it away.
I ended up keeping the first one, but left it in a spot that it ended up fading. It took over a year, but I found it again and saw that it wasn’t really “personalized” anymore and gave it to my brother. This gift though? It’s permanent. But I actually believe in our “one day” as friends that I can give it to you.
Anyways, back to the point I guess is that I realized shit happens. Shit can happen in the blink of an eye and change everything. Some things won’t be possible after it happens and leaves you screwed. Second, I need to stop making personalized shit, it’s bad luck so far LOL.
