#14.08.24

[heartsoftruth]

For a second year, I’m blessed to travel through Africa during the break. The first time around I was overwhelmed by just how beautiful and healing this world can be, and this trip is no different. Just like last time, I’m feeling more and more re-centered and at peace as the days go by. Morocco was the first stop, words can’t describe the experience, hopefully photos come close 🇲🇦 Still so much to see and learn, see you in the next 🌍 | Lewis

[liamnews]

Liam via Snapchat - 14/08

[heartsoftruth]

LEWIS IN MOROCCO | INSTASTORY

[liamnews]

14/08

[vidasecaeveredas]

Some losing battles are worth fighting just to meet an end

[ta-samovila]

why are some people on the internet so mad ?

i just texted my own opinion about random person in X.

it concerned the writing of fanfiction, the person exaggerated and whined about the fact that he writes maxi texts (3 pages) and doesn't receive much feedback.

and I wrote about it in a post. Like girl, you're exaggerating too much and it's not that bad.

and a forty-year-old woman pounced on me with accusations that I humiliate this author. And that I'm a hypocrite, a liar, a fool, that I should take off my "white coat" and not make myself perfect.

she texted like 'would you be happy if you were splashed with mud? You don't write perfectly either, let me tell you what kind of shit your original works are?'

Man I just wrote not to exaggerate, why are you write such crap about me?

[sapabiryer]

[sweetestdaisies]

I don't think I'm gonna make it to the end of the year, and it sucks because I started this year so hopeful. I was so sure things would stay with me being ok still. But here I am, spiraling back to where I was when I was 14. Back then, all I had to worry about was getting to school and back. Everything else was taken care of—food, shelter, everything. I didn’t have to think about anything else. But now, it’s all on me. I have to take care of myself, and worse, I have to keep pretending everything’s okay. I have to protect the people I care about from my own mess because they can’t know how bad it really is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tell my therapist about it because she will want to send me to the hospital and I can’t go back. I need the money. I can’t take time off work, I don’t have enough leave. But i hate this job. I need to complete my university placement. But i hate this degree. I can’t deal with the disappointment from my family and their sadness. I already know the conversation. “You were doing so well. Why did you let this happen again?”. But i hate being made to feel bad about not being ok. I know i will be dumped because who the fuck wants to date a chick that can’t regulate her emotions enough to where she can’t keep herself safe as a grown adult. I can’t talk to any of my friends because they don’t know the extent of how bad it is. But i hate that i can’t be open with someone who won’t judge or be emotional about it. I can’t kill myself because if I do i will upset everyone around me. I will embarrass my friends and family. I will have people thinking how selfish i am to do that. But i don’t want to fucking be alive. I don’t. Everything is easier if I am gone. For me and for them! I mean if they could just think about easy life would be. I won’t another expense they may have to pay for, or burden to deal with emotionally. I won’t be another argument they may have or annoyance with me doing something stupid. I won’t be another chore they have to do something for or talk to or text back. All the hardships i have given these people and will continue to give is gone! Erased! Why wouldn’t they want that? Why wouldn’t they want to stop themselves from the future anger, sadness, frustration they will feel with a lifetime of me. All they have to do is experience grief for a week. But i can’t do anything. Cause its alllllll abouttttt making other people feel better.