In defense of Amanda from Rule of Rose!!
Am I the only one who notices how oddly common it is to hate Amanda? I suppose it's grounded in the fact that, since you are playing as Jennifer, everything Amanda does feels extremely personal, not to mention off-putting. I don't know if it's just me, but those feelings have never trumped the love I feel for her. No matter what she did, all I saw was a distressed child simply trying to do what she has to in order to survive, all while hoping she can be loved and valued along the way, even if that came in the form of her acting pretty messy, to say the least.
What I think really sticks out to me about Amanda's character is that there is not truly anyone on her side. Everyone here is in an unfortunate situation, however, Amanda is the only one who is hated by absolutely everyone in the building. Even Jennifer, the scapegoat, had Brown and at least believed for a while that she had Wendy. In her year there, that's where she found her solace. But how long has Amanda been here, and who has ever had her back?
Amanda can't possibly be any more than 12 years old, MAYBE 13 if we are being generous, and I just cannot imagine that sort of pressure and distress being put on a child. She appears "crazy" but if you ask me, I think she is still surprisingly mature and sweet despite what she has endured. At her core, what Amanda wants is friends, to be accepted, to be LOVED. The Aristocrat Club constantly dangles that desire in front of her, just barely out of her reach, and in her childlike hope, she chases it endlessly, thinking eventually, she will be enough for them. And when Jennifer arrives, she becomes all the more hopeful--because finally, finally, someone is hated more than her. It might not make her any more loved, but if it makes her a little less hated, that's enough for her for now.
For a while, she rides this high, and as a result, it makes her appear as if she's not really any different from the rest of the club. She hates Jennifer too, so why does she deserve our sympathy?
The thing is, I do not believe that it is Amanda's true nature to be hateful and hurt others. Despite all she's been through, she seems like one of the few people left there who still grasp right from wrong and are affected themselves when they hurt others. Amanda is excited at first to finally be above someone else, and is even excited to deliver punishment upon Jennifer, because the club has communicated that this is what makes you worthy. Having their acceptance, doing what they want, is how you earn their favor. If that is the narrative that is being communicated to you constantly, is it not understandable that a child would partake in such behavior in the name of being loved and accepted?
But even when she does punish Jennifer, the guilt completely overrides those desires. It felt good for a moment, but it took only a few seconds for her to realize how she was hurting someone else and it ate her alive because despite how crazy she seems, she has a more intact conscience than most of the other people there. She sobs and tells Jennifer how sorry she is, and encourages her to hurt her if she ever gets the chance. Her response is unnerving, but understandable and even admirable when you consider that this is a child who has likely never been taught how to regulate her emotions and exists in a place where selfishness and abuse runs rampant. She can still say sorry. She can still be consumed with guilt for hurting others. That hasn't been taught to her, that's who she is.
I feel that even when Jennifer overtakes her in the hiearchy, she still responds in a shockingly mature manner. Is it creepy that she has a doll of Jennifer and is beating the absolute snot out of it? Absolutely. But something to consider is that Amanda, just like everyone else, is existing in a place where violence and abuse is a free-for-all, no one is ever stopped from taking physical action against someone. Granted, it would not be in Amanda's favor to harm someone higher on the list than her, but I personally still find it admirable that she chose to redirect her frustrations onto an object rather than a person.
She also has her diary in the sewing room, and her entries do get increasingly nonsensical and even a bit violent, but I do think there's something to be said again about a child choosing to direct their overwhelming emotions onto paper. I doubt that was something the adults there taught her, so it is likely something she does completely of her own volition. As someone who worked in childcare for about 6 years, I assure you that is not the typical response from children when they are upset with other children. They will scream at best, and hit at worst, and require intervention from an adult. Neither Mr. Hoffman nor Martha Carol intervene in these children's games, so Amanda, in all her distress, has singlehandedly made a mature choice to vent somewhere private.
And I know some people are still gonna complain and say that intentions and environments don't matter and Amanda still hurt Jennifer and is crazy and blah blah blah, but a huge thing Rule of Rose made me realize is how much your environment really shapes you. If you've never been loved, never been protected, never been taught better, and all you know is a world where you can only get by if you are willing to cause pain to others just like they did to you, is Amanda's behavior and responses not that much more impressive? Quite frankly, I think I would've been a lot worse.
I open this can of worms a lot but I really want to start blogging my rants here instead of my insta story bc it's more intuitive, I feel like :P I'm extremely passionate about Amanda if you couldn't tell...my heart breaks when I see her get hated on.
Thanks for reading all this if you did!!
-bioweaponbarbie