Feb 23, 2015
today is a tough day
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today is a tough day
Is it better to not give a fuck or try too hard? Probably something I will never figure out
Yeah he hates me. Wow. Okay awesome. Fuck him. He is a dick. He is a fucking dick. Fine he doesn't like me well I fucking tried to be nice now I dont fucking like him. Hes an asshole. Little fucker. I hate him. Haaattteeee him. If I say it enough I will start to hate him. I HATE HIM.
me and him need to spend time together though. but i think he goes to some university kind of far away.
i was supposed to spend the whole day studying. i spent like no time studying. i just don't want to. ugh. im a failure. this sucks. although i just agreed to marry an acquaintance of mine that i rarely talk to anymore and just about never see.
I love doing bad things for the thrill of it lol
gosh i guess im done with guys. although i kind of do want a fling i want one that turns into something or just dies down into good friendship. i just want to be friends with a guy. why is that so hard. an attractive guy. an attractive rich guy. an attractive fun rich guy. an attractive fun sweet rich guy. an attractive fun sweet smart rich guy. an attractive fun sweet smart funny rich guy. wow. or just the young beatles. anyone of the beatles when they were young. they were all cute. mostly george. can i go back in time and fall in love with george? please. i love george. he is perf.
yeah he doesn't care to respond to me. he doesn't really wanna talk to me. oh well. im talking to bassoon boy and football guy and they both enjoy talking to me so its all good. i guess i forgot how he changed. thats right. i need to understand people change. and he is one of those people. he isn't the cute innocent boy who is super sweet to me. he is his rude not caring self towards me now. and i dont think it's possible to get his old self back. i do miss the old him. but i do not want the actual him back. good to know good to know. alright.