Crack AU where Sonar, now an adult at 26, has a child because I want him to be happy
WHO'S EXCITED FOR A SURPRISE BABY TO AN EX-GIRLFIREND 💥💥💥 I KNOW I AAAAAAAM
For that one guy upset this post wasn't explicitly Bill and Ford being gay, Sonar is a child of Bill and Ford, and this stands as a disclaimer to anyone looking for Bill and Ford romance
It had been an exhausting 16 hours, which had given Sonar bruising over the hand his now ex girlfriend held. Myrtle was her name; Myrtle Andrews. She and Sonar had gotten together for a couple dates, and while they had a wonderful time, they both knew it was temporary. She was beautiful and fun, the kind of person you'd take to a bar after a breakup to cheer you up. But Myrtle could be hot headed and impatient, not the kind of things Sonar could live with. She wasn't even sticking around, in the later years of her nursing degree and planing to leave state soon after.
Sonar had been under the apprenticeship of his father, and was earning a living through acting and music production. But now, all that was running through his head as he sat by Myrtle's side, still in labor, giving her the best encouragement he could (which were a few pathetic cheers) was panic.
This baby--- a quarter Euclidean--- would not have a good life. They couldn't raise a baby, especially not Myrtle. And Sonar was still overcoming his own traumas. Some days, he felt more like a child than he did as a child. He grew up far too fast, parented by his father's servants, what did he know about fatherhood? They had to give the baby up. There wasn't a couple lined up for them, but Sonar was sure there was a couple who would love a beautiful baby---
"It's a girl!" their doctor cried out as she bundled up a screaming, crying baby. Sonar was barely lucid, running on fumes and only now regaining feeling in his fingers as Myrtle began to wind down. Said doctor, now wiping dry the baby and cutting her free, looked up at Sonar and Myrtle, "Would either of you like to hold her?"
"N-No," Myrtle groaned out, still distressed despite the doctor's celebrations around her, "I don't want to get attached. We've already agreed for adoption---"
"I'd like to hold her," Sonar quietly mumbled, sheepishly raising his now purple hand, the indents from Myrtle's fingernails soon dissipating.
Being handed the sobbing child, Sonar peeked down into her blankets like a curious dog. He held her awkwardly, having never been taught to, as the doctor beside him began to instruct him. With one hand supporting her head and the other cradling her tiny, tiny body, Sonar really began to see her. Hee red face, her tiny nose, her streaked cheeks. And as she sobbed, so did he, suddenly overtaken with a kind of love he had never felt. It overtook anything he'd felt before, even compared to pain, longing, and the pure joy of reconnecting with his father.
No, this was stronger.
"... Hi," his whispered, leaning in slowly as all 7 and a half pounds slowly began to look up at him. Sonar's lip quivered as her's parted, squeaking out another couple of whines.
Sonar's doctor, Dr. Garcia, came closer. "We'd like to make sure she's all healthy and ready for departure, and after the adoption---"
"I'm keeping her."
"Sonar?" Myrtle asked, groaning as her head rolled to the side and away from him, "This is why I didn't hold her. We have lives, we can't raise a baby."
"I'm keeping her," Sonar replied, his brows furrowing as he sniffled and turned to the doctor, "I-I can do that, right? And Myrtle doesn't get to say."
"As the father, you are able to keep her. It's just up to Myrtle if she wants to---"
"Wave parental rights," she nodded, having gone over these possibilities before. While Myrtle was fun and careless, she wasn't unprepared, especially while sober. "I'd like to."
"Then as her dad, I'd like... Just do whatever to make sure she's healthy, okay?" Sonar said to Dr. Garcia, holding the baby up as if delicate china, afraid to do anything but stiffly hold her.
Dr. Garcia nodded, taking the bundle from Sonar's arms before giving orders to her team. Sonar didn't hear any of them, just the one that told him where to wait. After a few minutes, seemingly longer than the actual labor to Sonar, he was able to hold his daughter again.
"Typically---" Dr. Garcia explained, seated in an empty room typically meant for new mothers--- "new mothers are given skin to skin contact with baby to improve milk production, make a stronger mother-baby bond, and improve the womb to world transition. But, if you'd like, I can teach you how to as well."
"It would help her?" Sonar asked, fidgeting with the thin jacket he wore. He'd been sitting at home when Myrtle frantically called him, running out in sweats, a t-shirt, and cheap zip up. His doctor nodded, as Sonar sat up and held out his hand expectantly. The baby, in only a diaper, the smallest hat Sonar had ever seen, and even smaller socks, was handed over to him after he sheepishly took off his shirt. Despite being in a hospital, he was still a little embarrassed.
Soft. What a soft little thing, Sonar thought, beginning to tear up again as he turned to his doctor, whining out, "Is all this crying normal?"
Dr. Garcia chuckled, her smile warm as she nodded. "Yes, Mr. Pines. It's very normal."
"She's so beautiful..." he mumbled, sniffling as he did and cradling the unnamed bundle to his warm, fuzzy chest. "Oh God... I have no idea what to do with her. I-I'm so unprepared."
"Calm down, sir," Dr. Garcia replied, her voice gentle and steady, "Do you have any family you would like to call? Someone to help us make a plan."
"U-Uh..." Sonar mumbled, looking down at the baby. Ford had offered to be there, his father, but Sonar had pushed him away. Him and Stan were pushing for Sonar to keep the baby, and in return Sonar had only pushed back. But they were right in this case...
"I remember the first time I saw you, already sixteen," Ford said, one particularly sentimental day during those nine months. "I didn't know it then, but something in me just told me you were my boy. Maybe it was your looks, or maybe it was how nerdy you were. Why did you think I fussed over you so much?"
"They were beautiful," Stanley recalled some other nameless day, having visited Dipper and Mabel the day they were born. "Two little stinkers wrapped up in blue and pink blankets. I didn't ever think I was one for weirdo lookin' little babies," he continued, beginning to speak with pride, "but out of everyone that day, it wasn't Shermie who held them most--- it was me!"
"My father."
"Sonar?" Ford asked, peeking into Sonar's room.
Sonar, still holding his daughter close, glanced up at his Dad before refocusing on the sleeping baby in his arms. "Hi... I uhm... decided to keep her. She's just too... too perfect."
Ford chuckled and smiled, Stanley appearing soon behind him in the door way. Flocking to Sonar's side and leaning over him, he cooed affectionately. Stan too came close, brightly smiling and asking, "What're you gonna name the little bugger?"
"No clue," Sonar replied, gently shrugging, "Any ideas?"
Over an hour passed as Stanley and Ford suggested different names, the former growing weary of the search. That was, however, until Stanford suggested Catherine, after Catherine the Great. "She really earned the name," Ford explained, whispering as not to wake up the baby, "She gave Russia a golden age through her long rein, expanding territory, building universities, theaters. She was very enlightened for her time."
Sonar paused for a moment, his baby still somehow asleep against his chest. His position against the chair he was in sucked, and his back was absolutely killing him, but it was all worth it for the precious baby in his arms. "Yeah..." he mumbled, smiling warmly, "Catherine. My baby Catherine."
Ford had already sanitized his hands a while ago, reaching out and letting Catherine grab one of his fingers in her sleep. Meanwhile, Stan was busy looking around. "Where's this kid's Ma?"
Sonar's affectionate smile slowly fell, quietly replying, "She... didn't change her mind like I did. Didn't even want to hold her..."
Ford sighed and looked over at Sonar, reaching over to rub his back gently, "I'm sorry, baby."
"What a waste of space," Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Ford knit his brows, his mouth askew in sympathy for both parties. "She's a nursing student who spends her weekends at the bar she met Sonar at. I didn't think she wanted children to begin with, or would ever. She's not a bad person for not wanting a... I hate to call her a mistake but--- let's just say an unplanned baby."
"Besides, Myrtle doesn't matter anymore," Sonar mumbled, gently caressing Catherine's back, "Catherine does."
"That's right," Ford replied, "Now let's go home and baby proof the house. Catherine needs a nursery before anything else."
"I'll handle formula, diapers, stuff like that," Stan added, speaking up, "You're on furniture duty, Six."
"W-Wait--- How much is this gonna cost?" Sonar asked, perking up.
Ford suddenly put his hand on Sonar's shoulder, pushing him back to sit down, "Easy, buddy. Babies are expensive, we can't avoid that. Would you rather cost the extra cash to get her something nice, or skimp when we can absolutely afford the former?" Sonar paused for a moment, looking up at his father wity a guilty pout for the suggestion. "There's my sentimental boy. Get your shirt on, you're going home while me and your uncle shop."
"Mr. Pines," Dr. Garcia's voice suddenly said, appearing in the doorway with a smile, "Have you decided on a name yet?"
"Yeah," Sonar replied, sitting up as Catherine slowly roused, "Catherine. Catherine Pines."