Last year, my only resolutions were to keep my kitchen clean and apply to graduate school. The kitchen fluctuated, but ended the year on a tidy note. And I sent off my application a few days ago. This year, I have too many resolutions. I want to eat better--cook more, eat fewer (and better-sourced) animal products, avoid IC triggers more rigorously. I want to make more money and save more. I want to go through my old stuff, organize it, get rid of things. I want to read a lot more and write more. I want to exercise and take better care of my body. I don't want to, but I need to learn to drive. Basically, I want to be a better person in every possible way. And honestly, that's a bit of a step back from where I was last year. What I wanted used to be a lot easier, and I know I like myself as a person less now than I did then. 2015 was a bit like going through a meat grinder. Here's to a much better year and a more disappointing set of resolutions.
for making it through. for the days you sit huddled with your arms around your knees, the days when you're sure things will never change. but listen to me: they will. they will.
[tracklist]
up the wolves - the mountain goats
nothing stays the same - luke sital-singh
life is hard - edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes
Some good things about 2015 is that I bet some people I think of as really good friends and almost as family. @oldmanmurphy @bluebreeze52 @lehrastar and @tailsthescoutx to name a few.
Also became closer friends with @nickyvmlp @warethedoom and a few others who’ve I’ve known for at least a year or more now. Some of which even helped donate for V and I to have better equipment for his gaming broadcasts and others for food.
Still had support when I was feeling down and out, from @v-decepticon and some of the people I’ve mentioned already as well as others.
Thank you all who made that crappy year a little less crappy. Let’s just hope 2016 is a whole lot better and that the crap will be left to a minimal!
Listen to more music. I should expand my taste in music this year. I am into classical singing, so it should just make sense to listen to more classical and renaissance chorale pieces, right?
Make more music!
Look nicer, dress nicer, and stop being such a slob! Lol
Be more honest with my feelings and stop beating around the bush.
Go out more.
Get good grades and work hard this year to reach my goal.
Don’t forget your resolutions by the end of the year.
it’s that time of year again!!! under a read more for your convenience
1: a few things you will never forget in 2015
i saw taylor swift this year
i performed on a stage again for the first time since high school ended
traveled around california
2: relationship(s)
the boyfriend and i have now been together for two and a half years
3: the best day
probably the taylor concert on aug 24 TBH
also a disneyland trip earlier this month with the boyfriend, my sister, and her bf was super fun (-:
4: the worst day
the day i found out i had to take summer school at my school bc i really......did not want to be in school i wanted to be home
5: the most memorable moment
over summer my family + mine and my sisters bfs went white water rafting and over one current my sister’s bf was like thrown from the boat and fell into the water and for some reason my mind just keeps going back to that moment so that
6: your best friend(s)
Thomas
my sister
Erika
the bf
7: your birthday
i literally cried bc it was the first day of school and as mentioned i didnt want to be in school i wanted to be home LMAO
8: the funnest getaway
yosemite!!
also catalina island !!!
9: the end of last school year/the beginning of this one
end of last was kinda bitter sweet bc at the end of the year i finally started to make friends kinda and one of my faves was graduating, but i was also so so so happy to go home however temporarily since i’d have to go back soon for summer session
I got a job at school so it’s been consumed with work, but like the classes i was taking werent TOO bad?? like one was crazy difficult but for the most part i was okay
Total Word Count:
153444 is my official AO3 listing. But I wrote 105177 words that I didn’t post to AO3 and I am 65026 into one novel and 10328 into another. Plus the Wolverine Carmilla fic, which is 2013 words long. So adding all of those together…335988. Woo, that was a good year for me.
Fandoms Written In:
Arrow, The 100, and Carmilla are my big three. I did Jupiter Ascending and Dark Matter for Yuletide, and a couple crossovers over into Legends of Tomorrow, Fringe, and Young Justice. Gailverse, of course, took up a lot of my time. And a tiny Rogue Nation fic, naturally. And a couple Avengers fic for old times’ sake.
Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
I was really hoping to finish [deleted] this year, so the fact that it’s not done means I wrote less fic than I expected. I’m amazed I didn’t get dragged into more long stories, though. Just Mixed Up and a few The 100 fics!
What’s your own favorite story of the year?
It’s always “whatever I’m working on right now” so Wolverine Carmilla’s going to win out, but I really had a good time writing quite a few things. Favorite thing I finished this year? Uh, probably the 65k novel I mentioned up above that I can’t tell you about. Posted story? Bless Your Beautiful Hide. Oh my god, there was so much fun looking up Viking wedding traditions for that one.
Did you take any writing risks this year?
I wrote my very first sex scene this year! Oh my god that was horrifying in so many ways. Hopefully not the scene itself, but there was a lot of time spent on the floor crying. Again, hopefully not in the scene itself. But who knows?
Do you have any writing or profit goals for the new year?
Gail 3! Write that novel series that TERRIFIES me.
Best story of the year?
I liked “By the Numbers,” my Dark Matter fic. I’ll go with that one.
Most popular story of the year?
[Deleted]. Depressingly enough.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
DEFINITELY ‘Cause Baby, I Could Build a Castle. C’mon, Laurel and Felicity having shared sex dreams, me getting to write with a friend of mine, AND I WROTE A SEX SCENE.
Most fun story to write:
The scene in [deleted] where Felicity accidentally walks in on Sara and Nyssa in flagrante delicto because I had so much fun writing banter for that.
Story with the single sexiest moment:
‘Cause Baby I Could Build a Castle is my only story with a sex scene in it, I guess I have to say that one. Though I had a good time groaning over the makeout scenes in Mixed Up.
Most sweet story:
Zen and the Art of Floor Repair? It’s got found family stuff in there and Laura basically forcefully adopting Nat into the family.
“Holy crap thats wrong, even for you” story:
It’s Not Much (But My Money’s On You) had dubcon, which is rare for me. I’m not somebody who writes dubcon or noncon, but Felicity and Laurel essentially get roofied in that story and have to deal with the fallout and how they feel about it. I’d love to continue that universe where they end up together and piss everybody off, but unfortunately I have other projects that are calling stronger than that universe.
Story that shifted my own perception of the characters:
This was the year I learned to love Laurel, well and truly. I wrote Ex-Girlfriend Club a long time ago, but after last season, I needed to really connect with Laurel. Especially since I started shipping her with Felicity. So any of my multiple canary fics, really.
Most unintentionally telling story:
Probably Head Over Cleats? I wrote it for my friend, but I also revealed quite a few iddy things about myself.
Hardest story to write:
[deleted], every single time. It goes easily but I get depressed about how much there’s left to write when I really don’t like the ship.
Biggest disappointment:
That ‘Cause Baby I Could Build a Castle didn’t take off more than it did. Lauricity FOR LIFE.
Biggest surprise:
That I avoided getting into another long WIP and kept to my self-made promise not to post any long-fic until the whole thing was done.
Thank you all for reading my writing, hopefully we will have even more this next year!
I tag: @kaleidoscopes-and-carousels, @kaceybellamys, @gnimaerd, @rashaka, @felicityremarkablesmoak. Thanks @hallow777 for tagging me!
What a mixed bag. Ready to see it go for a variety of reasons.
2015 started as the year that everything was going to change. I was going to start working on my comic in earnest, start doing commissions regularly, I was going to do all this stuff
and then I did none of it. :D Just fell into the same ridiculous depressive feedback loop from 2014 and nothing changed for me, at least not for the better. I stuck it out at the job that is probably quite literally killing me, kept drinking more than I should, didn’t exercise nearly as much as I should. I guess my waistline changed lmao that changed more than a lil bit
But at the same time! I resubbed to Wildstar on a lark after one of the major updates before F2P. It turned out to be one of the better decisions I made this year. I got hooked up with some really great, amazing and wonderful people who are largely responsible for restarting my creative engines. I still didn’t do as much as I thought I was going to with guild stuff (I only got one comic 3/4s done??? who does that), but I felt (and still feel) challenged and encouraged by the community I fell into. After having my first few attempts at this sort of thing end disastrously, it’s really meant a lot to have this work out the way it has. I feel like I made more art in the latter quarter of this year than I made in the first 3/4s of it. And even if it is technically just a bunch of fanart, I’m calling that a win. Because at least I made /something/.
Probably the best thing about this year is the fact that I have finally decided that it’s time to make a change. I think I’ve finally convinced myself that taking a big leap and possibly falling flat on my face is better than keeping things the way they are. I can’t stand this for one more year, I literally can’t. I’m done hanging on and putting my life on hold for someone else’s sake and getting nothing out of it but misery and hurt feelings and feelings of inadequacy.
2016 is going to bring change of one kind or another, change that’s been put off way too long.
going to an agitation-based leadership and activism training weekend in an old monastery (fuck agitation tbh) (and climbing out my window at night with a friend while there. that was important)
