first morning of the new year and the light reflecting off the fresh snow has totally papered over whatever tiredness might be there from last night. this is how the year will be, a year of wakefulness. i will be so terribly awake that the world-as-she-is will slice into my eyes like cheese wire. i will work for days, sleepless, until the work is done. i will align my every waking moment to my will. all distraction will fall to the wayside and i will bring my absolute focus about to bore through each necessity, dispatching them one after the other with the single-minded and brutal elegance of purpose-built industrial machinery. each moment, each beautiful sight, each and every human connection felt with childlike intensity. i will never hesitate, i will never flinch, i will never waver. just a steady hand and a level gaze from unblinking, unsleeping eyes
