#21lillian21

[caketastrophecosplay]

Here are my favorite photos of my Jinx cosplay so far from Saboten!! I'll be posting more from the photoshoot i did once they're edited!

[toy-bonnie]

A wild Kurlu has appeared all over my dashboard.

[koleijon]

Scarf just arrived from 21lillian21 so im gonna take a shower then take some selfies cause hot damn this scarf is bomb.

[toy-bonnie]

its so much easier just pretending in my head that we're on a break and that we'll get back together in the future

its the only hopee that keeps me together right now

[toy-bonnie]

1 day down, 6 to go

i can do this

[toy-bonnie]

ah man

just remembering you coming through the airport gate

the distance has only grown and i miss you as though you were more than 4991 miles away but i love you no less

[toy-bonnie]

everyday i just go to my tumblr and click the link just to remember all the stuff i love about kurlu

sigh...

[toy-bonnie]

i should probably post my thoutghts while im numb and not in hysterical tears because otherwise you guys wont understand what the fuck im saying

basically my partner broke up with me because of distance. while i know whats its like because, duh, im on the other end of the stick, i never wanted to give up what we had. we both have around two years of universirty now and inbetween during holidays i have the moneyy to visit him or for him to visit hme. after that id do everything i could to find work in the states just to be with him.

but apparently thats not how it goes. apparently hes given up at the first hurdle and wont make this work. weve been though this distance before - more of it since he'll be closer when he gets to uni, and i don't understand why he suddenly wants to back out of it. i can only concliude that i might have done something or someone else or what, because i dont fucking know and i feel entirely shattered inside. earlier i had panic attacks numerous times and as a result my family had to call my grandfather to come and take me out of the house to try and calm me down.

kurlu, if youre reading this, please dont give up just because it gets hard. it gets harder before it gets easier and the more frequent the visits the sooner we will actually be together. you just need to give the time a chance. i know i dont have it like you do - im a loner, i dont talk to people, i dont have friends dating closely - but i do know that its worth fighting for. a skype call, even a photo of you is enough to reassure me that someday you'd be close to me again and that EVERYTHING is worth the fight. giving up on our relationship has just broken us even more. please dont give us up. i love you more than anything and i love being with you even if youre thousands of miles away, because even if it is tyhat distrance youre worth it. even in my thoughts you feel closer than anyone ive ever known.