Elaine: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.
Elaine: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Leora, covering Cory’s ears: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
Leora: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?
Elaine: Oh, definitely not.
Leora: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Elaine: I speak fucking English!
Leora: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Elaine: Literally or figuratively?
Leora: I have to specify?
Elaine, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?
Elaine: Wrong. It's coffee.
Elaine: Hey Leora, can you give me the opposite of these words?
Elaine: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Leora: Never, Going, To, Give, You-
Cop: What are your names?
Leora: Don't tell them, Elaine.
Elaine: Nice going, Leora.
Leora: Can I borrow five dollars?
Elaine: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?
Leora: Not directly, but with my love and affection.
Elaine: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...
Leora, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Elaine: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.
Leora: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?
Elaine: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.
Elaine: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.
Elaine: *glares at Leora*
Leora: Well, sorry I have morals!
Leora: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.
Leora: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.
Elaine: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Leora: Don't go to the kitchen.
Elaine: Well, did you kill it?
Leora: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...
Leora: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
Elaine, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
Leora: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*
Elaine: What are you making?
Elaine: I can't believe you've done this.....
Leora: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Elaine, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Elaine: How do you want your coffee?
Leora: Black, like my soul.
Elaine: Leora, your soul is a latte.
Computer: Please enter a password.
Elaine: *types in “Leora”*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Elaine: How fucking DARE YOU-