Tis the season
Everything you need to know about my 19 year relationship with Christmas.
Best part of the festive period: The infusion of romance in the air
After the distress that is so resolutely synonymous with buying other people presents subsides, there is a kind of romantic tenderness that embellishes every place you walk, every interaction you have with someone. Perhaps that’s just my mawkishness being a nuisance.
Worst part of the festive period: Wrapping presents and people who have to spend Christmas without their loved ones
I can’t wrap to save my life, it’s almost abhorrent. Reflecting on my own jollity evokes a melancholic realisation that there are too many people suffering not just in the build up to Christmas but always.
Favourite Christmas song: Last Christmas - Wham!
It’s my “effervescent body movements” christmas song, but my “melting into the sofa through the warmth of contentedness as well as the red wine going to my head” favourite Christmas song is Nat King Cole’s timeless delivery of chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Favourite Christmas film: Love Actually
Come on, don’t look at me like that... From the plethora of Christmas films there is to choose from, I could have done a lot worst.
Time of awakening on the 25th: 9am (through external force)
Like any child, I used to wake up before the moon hardly got a chance to set. In recent years, I’ve had to be woken up by my family, who deploy the dog to jump up on my bed and lick my ears.
Favourite on the plate: Pigs in Blankets
Sorry, non-meat eaters. It won’t be this year that I’ll be giving them up.
Least favourite on the plate: Brussels Sprouts
It’s not that I hate them - they are eaten with little complaint - it’s simply that they can’t compete with the other runners in the race and always end up the sorry losers.
RATE OUT OF 10 FOR THE FOLLOWING - 1 being utterly deplorable, 10 being inexplicably sublime:
Mince pies: 6
Christmas cracker jokes: 3
The social acceptability of drinking before 11am on Christmas day: 8.5
The social acceptability of wearing horrendous Christmas jumpers: 8.7
Santa: 9
Weight gained after christmas dinner: 2
Boxing day sales: -37
