A discussion about the sexualities of Middle Earth species.
I don't see why it would be an issue? Dwarfs canonically 1) all look vaguely the same and kind of beardy and 2) have a low fertility rate and a long life span
[2:26:04 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: I think dwarves would be perfectly fine with homogay.
[2:26:13 AM] Riff: yep
[2:26:24 AM] Riff: i really want to do a piece about a gay dwarven warrior bond
[2:26:25 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Simply because there's little physical difference between ladies and mens and it's not like all relationships guarantee procreation
[2:26:31 AM] Riff: where they swear to each other
[2:26:32 AM] Riff: and it's not like
[2:26:46 AM] Riff: restricted to male/male or anything, it's just that the males tend to be warriors
[2:27:05 AM] Riff: i think there is little physical difference and it's nbd if a lady wants to be a warrior, they just tend not to
[2:28:01 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Dwarves would be like idgaf + warrior bonds
Humans would be like eeeeeehnnnnnn warrior bonds are okay but why do you do this thing let's not talk about it
Hobbits would be SCANDALIZED BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN
Elves have not a fuck to give because sex is beautiful and brings you closer to the earth/spirits/perfection/whatever
Orcs and Goblins probably subscribe to prison bitch mentality
[2:28:22 AM] Riff: yeah
[2:28:25 AM] Riff: i think with elves
[2:28:26 AM] Riff: like
[2:28:35 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: They probably get married but it's all open marriages
[2:28:46 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: just so long as they keep it with other elves.
[2:28:58 AM] Riff: i'm vascillating between open relationships and pure spiritual bonds and maybe both?
[2:28:58 AM] Riff: like
[2:29:01 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: which is probably why cereborn was a bitch about Galadriel's epic crush on Gandalf
[2:29:21 AM] Riff: their love is more intellectual and spiritual but they also, yknow
[2:29:25 AM] Riff: enjoy the sex
[2:29:25 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Well that's the thing. They spiritually connect with one partner but physically go about as they please
[2:29:28 AM] Riff: yes yes
[2:29:30 AM] Riff: i like that
[2:29:40 AM] Riff: OH
[2:29:41 AM] Riff: and babies i think
[2:29:42 AM] Riff: OH
[2:29:47 AM] Riff: there's this culture where like
[2:29:49 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: but wizards are like, from another world, so they're an unknown quantity and that's why Galadriel is all up on Gandalf
[2:29:59 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: despite being ~spirit bound~ to celeborn
[2:30:06 AM] Riff: it doesn't matter who sired the baby, it's always the husband's child, because they believe that the child is born in the father's dreams
[2:30:17 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: ooh
[2:30:18 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: nifty
[2:30:23 AM] Riff: so i'm thinking that with elves
[2:30:28 AM] Riff: physical relationships are seen as separate
[2:30:41 AM] Riff: your partner is an intellectual and spiritual choice
[2:30:50 AM] Riff: but not necessarily biological
[2:30:50 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah. And they don't care about homogay either
[2:30:54 AM] Riff: of course not :P
[2:31:20 AM] Riff: humans it's... well-practiced but not spoken of
[2:31:30 AM] Riff: hobbits it's like. TABOO.
[2:31:43 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah. I think Humans would be really DADT about it
[2:31:48 AM] Riff: yes yes
[2:31:59 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: like if Aragorn wants to fuck the elf whatever okay just behind closed doors and he better marry a nice girl to be his queen
[2:32:08 AM] Riff: yeaah
[2:32:15 AM] Riff: and do not make it obvious because shun shun
[2:32:19 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah
[2:32:21 AM] Riff: and like
[2:32:35 AM] Riff: the dwarves and the elves keep themselves very separate, including their ideas about who they fuck
[2:32:47 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: I think most cultures would have an issue with cross species except Dwarves with humans
[2:32:49 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: because Hobbits. XD
[2:32:52 AM] Riff: so among humans they never betray their secrets, yknow
[2:33:00 AM] Riff: wut?
[2:33:08 AM] Riff: i think humans are the species whores
[2:33:13 AM] Riff: any port in a storm etc etc
[2:33:19 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah humans are sluts
[2:33:22 AM] Riff: all the others are more insular
[2:33:37 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: but as for actual procreation, after the fall of Erebor dwarves probably aren't super picky
[2:33:45 AM] Riff: less so. but there's their pride.
[2:33:50 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: because hey, great deal of their people got whiped out and humans are super fertile.
[2:34:02 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah, there's that, too.
[2:34:06 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Probably the younger set
[2:34:10 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Kili and Fili's generation
[2:34:22 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Since they mostly grew up without a home and they're all adult age.
[2:34:36 AM] Riff: ah yes
[2:34:42 AM] Riff: they would be all like whee but the older ones
[2:34:48 AM] Riff: i don't think they fall in love easily with an outsider because they don't open up to them? etc
[2:34:51 AM] Riff: and for dwarves
[2:34:58 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Gloin's generation would be like HAVE SOME DWARF PRIDE
[2:35:00 AM] Riff: love and passion are entwined
[2:35:09 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Thilbo
[2:35:09 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: :D
[2:35:23 AM] Riff: i think they have issues with elves being all up in each other's hizzles
[2:35:44 AM] Riff: because they seem them as being free with their bodies and thus can't imagine they really love each other
[2:35:47 AM] Riff: whereas i actually think
[2:35:47 AM] Riff: oh
[2:35:48 AM] Riff: oh
[2:35:49 AM] Riff: what if
[2:35:59 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: I think Bagginshield would be a little scandalous. More for the Shirefolk than for the dwarves, and made less so because Thorin's line lives on in Fili and Kili so he doesn't need to make his own baby
[2:36:07 AM] Riff: elves have it like. sex with your ~soulmate~ is... less okay? because it's less pure?
[2:36:11 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: but still like what is king under the mountain doing with this beardless shorty
[2:36:16 AM] Riff: yes
[2:36:19 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Oh yes I like that
[2:36:19 AM] Riff: i want to write about that
[2:36:21 AM] Riff: like a lot
[2:36:22 AM] Riff: and that
[2:36:24 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Do it
[2:36:26 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Doooo it
[2:36:27 AM] Riff: i want to write about elves and dwarves
[2:36:54 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Okay wait
[2:36:55 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Elves
[2:37:05 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Your soulmate is your mind mate.
[2:37:10 AM] Riff: yes
[2:37:14 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: It's an intellectual and very logical thing
[2:37:16 AM] Riff: yes
[2:37:18 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: and Sex is passion and emotion
[2:37:24 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: and Passion and Emotion are totally okay
[2:37:25 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: but
[2:37:26 AM] Riff: and so it's fine but not with your soulmate
[2:37:33 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: do not subject your logic to it
[2:37:34 AM] Riff: yes
[2:37:36 AM] Riff: exactly
[2:37:39 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: keep the two houses separate
[2:37:46 AM] Riff: and it's a top-down thing, like
[2:37:49 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: because you cannot have logic ruled by passion or passion ruled by logic
[2:38:02 AM] Riff: the rulers of the elves live so long that they need to have stability at the top
[2:38:23 AM] Riff: so having someone you are soul-bonded to but aren't going to get all stupid and jealous about
[2:38:28 AM] Riff: is important to them
[2:38:37 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: Yeah
[2:38:38 AM] Riff: whereas dwarves would see separating them as a weakness. together is stronger.
[2:38:54 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: To dwarves, love is a phalanx
[2:39:00 AM] Maxwell Arcturus: to Elves, it's a scale.
