#29.05.2023

[zaynjmsource]

Zayn recently!

[biragacgibitekvehur]

Canlar canını buldum, bu canım yağma olsun

Assı ziyandan geçtim, dükkanım yağma olsun

Ben benliğimden geçtim, gözüm hicabın açtım

Dost vaslına eriştim, gümanım yağma olsun

İkilikten usandım, birlik hanına kandım

Derd-i şarabın içtim, dermanım yağma olsun

[nocte-litteris]

Ahora que ya no estás a mi lado, solo me queda leer todas esas cartas que te escribí mientras nuestro amor seguía encendido.

𝕶𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖎𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍

[zaynjmsource]

Zayn with a fan recently

[bekindtoyou4007]

Some tears today watching a TV show where a father figure died but otherwise okay. Some existential dread early in the morning but then doing some tasks and doing a surprise picnic for H helped. So too did just sitting and chatting in the garden for a bit. I was wondering today about medication, I find it hard to tell whether I'm experiencing proportionate misery and worry and fear in response to admittedly challenging circumstances, or has my emotional/mood response gotten out of hand and its now causing a problem for others or me. I had to veto any family based Pixar film as evening watching because I didn't want to have a huge reaction. I've noted husband glancing over at me and asking me how I am because I've been crying in private or going quiet. I just need to feel my feelings and sometimes being reassured feels like being told to stop or be less emotional. It also feels incredibly patronising to have someone try to make me feel better -- no, you don't know exactly what it's like, I'm having my own lived experience which is unique to me, it will pass but I gotta let the emotions swell up right now and come out as tears or whatever and that's fine. I am trying to practice talking about my feelings with others but I worry I'm taking up too much space in the conversation or taking up a huge amount of emotional real estate... my family situation has been really intense for so long and it's almost too overwhelming to tell someone new because it would be like trauma dumping on them a metric tonne... I have therapy hw on this topic I'm no where near doing so I'll have to just make it work the next few days I guess? It's a shame so many people I've trusted have betrayed me lol really makes it hard to trust again.

[lettersiwillneverwrite]

"Ich liebe dich so doll. Ich hab noch nie einen Menschen so sehr geliebt wie dich."

[ange-et-douceur]

Elle se promène dans mes pensées

Passe son temps tout entier en mon cœur

Dans son beau jardin secret

L'envie de la revoir

Me trotte dans la tête du matin au soir

Lorsque soudain elle apparaît

Je ne rêve que de l'enlacer

Lorsque ce moment devient réel

Je suis tout à elle

Elle me trouble par sa douceur

Et ses douces fragrances

Chaque tendre moment

Blotti tout contre elle est délicieux

La caresser passionnément

D'une infini douceur

Nos deux cœurs palpitant passionnément

Nous sommes comme aimant.é

Corps et cœurs sont liés

Elle est irrésistible

Sa féminité

Me charme

Me désarme

La couvrir d'un tendre petit baiser

Éfflerant délicatement son cou

Exprimant mon désir de la combler

De mes plus douces attentions

De divins plaisirs

Vibrer au rythme de son cœur

Une douce mélodie sur notre nuage

Je l'entends me murmurer...

"Je vous désire Monsieur, faire tout tendrement l'amour, sentir vos lèvres contre les miennes, envie de vous ressentir tout contre moi"

Ange & Douceur 💜🌹

[lhistoireduneetoile]

I'm home.