#2ddoof

[doofisdue]

ily

[itsevilgirl]

Doofenshmirtz (second dimension)

Who’s asking? *shifty eyes* 

Man, he made me paranoid with his own fear of assassins. >.<

Doof  ( @alt_RulerDoof) is one of my dearest friends too. It also had a strange beginning. Long story short, he trusts people even less than I do, so he wouldn’t let me get close to him, and he’d even shoot me at times. One day, during this incident with a crazy girl, I saved him from getting hit with a baseball bat, and he slowly started to open up to me. 

Very slowly. 

For the longest time our relationship consisted of me bugging him and him trying to boss me around. But I never crossed the line and disrespected his authority, and he never crossed the line and tried to seriously injure me or make me do anything. So eventually we both started discussing more personal, deeper things, which built the trust bond even more, and now we’re best friends. Like with Melinda, I tell him everything about myself, and he tells me a lot too. Despite his insensitive nature (or maybe because of it) he knows how to cheer me up when I’m sad. We’ll always be there to protect each other, no matter what, even though we still fight. 

I accept he’s a murderous psycho, he accepts I don’t do what I’m told, and our friendship is fantastic because we respect, love and admire each other. He’s not an easy man to befriend, not at all. But if you manage to get past the toughness and handle the psycho stuff, it’s totally worth it.

There are also two other second dimension Doofenshmirtz’s I’ve met, and I became friends with both. Not best friends, but I like them a lot and I miss them. They were really fun and amazing. One of them always got relationship advice from me, it was great.

So overall, I really admire Doof’s evilness, I respect what he’s done and I would never betray the Empire. So as long as whichever Doof I’m dealing with is able to treat me with respect too, and not as a subject, I think we’ll get along well.

[itsevilgirl]

What would you say your relationships with the people in the second dimension are?

Well, it depends. I get along well with the evil people there. Really well, they’re some of my closest friends. Emperor Doofenshmirtz, Karl and my own alternate self (@alt_RulerDoof, @alt_Carl_Karl, @altEvilGirl) are very dear to me. Doof, Melinda and I fight occasionally, because we have very strong, stubborn personalities. Karl can frustrate me to no end with his apathy, but I love him too. 

I don’t care much for the Resistance, I find them more of a bother than anything else. They just annoy me, I guess. 

Except for Candace ( @2DCandaceFlynn), she’s such a sweetie. We always joke we’re twins, one is the good twin and the other is the evil twin. I think that’s why we became friends, because we’re somewhat similar despite our moral spectrums. There’s a mutual respect there. I usually don’t respect people who fight against evil, but she managed to gain mine. 

As for normal citizens, I don’t know them well. I like to scare them and make them think I’ll doom them! >:D So, in that sense, I see them as entertainment. 

Overall, I’d probably get along with anyone there, unless they were too against the Empire. 

[itsevilgirl]

I spent my afternoon in a bridal shop, helping my second dimension self pick out her wedding dress. 

We had a great time with bridesmaid Eemaan, Lindy (the other me), Amanda and Snowy. I can't believe my Twin is about to become an Empress! *-*

It was a challenge to pick the perfect dress for her, but we found one that fits the bill perfectly. And it's always nice to have a relaxing day with my evil girls (plus Snowy. She's still good...ish.), just hanging out and shopping. We all picked tons of dresses for Melinda to try on, and she looks drop-dead gorgeous in the dress she picked.

As for which dress she picked? You'll see it on her wedding day. ;) 

[itsevilgirl]

Mystery: You and Doof - Twin

MYSTERY: two characters solving a mystery together

((For anyone that’s not from Twitter, any time we say Doof we’re actually referring to 2D-Doof from the second dimension. Just so you know!))

 “MEEEEEL!”

Emperor Doofenshmirtz sounded positively enraged. She looked up from the museum building plans she’d been studying  for a future heist and yelled back. “WHAT?!”

He furiously opened the door to her study and glared. “What did you do with them?!”

Mel repeated her previous question, now very confused. ” … What?” Doof was at her place to go over some scheme with Heinz; she’d been working on her own mission the entire time, what could he possibly be blaming her for?

“Don’t play dumb!”, he spat, clenching his fists. “The muffins. I had a tray of freshly baked muffins that my NormBots brought especially for me, AND THEY’RE GONE! I know you can’t have eaten all of them at once and your husband was with me the whole tiiiime, so what did you do?!”

She looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Have you lost your mind? I was working, I didn’t even touch your muffins! And they’re just muffins, relax.”

He grabbed her by the straps of her dress, lifted her and snarled: “Muffins are a serious business. If you are lying … “

“Whoa! Easy there. I’m not, I promise. Will you leave me alone if I help you find out what happened to them?”

She sounded honest enough, so he set her down. “Yeees.”

“Alright. Now where did you leave these muffins?”

“On your kitchen counter. My NormBot arrived through a portal while I was looking at Heinz’s blueprints, so he just set it there. But I already looked, they’re not in the kitchen at all! “

“But maybe there are some clues there!”

They made their way to the kitchen, and Doof was right. There was no sign of muffins, or even the tray. Mel frowned. “That’s really weird…”

Before she finished her thought, Doof was hunched over the counter, spreading some kind of white powder on it and sweeping it with a tiny brush. Mel’s jaw dropped. “Are you looking for fingerprints? Isn’t that going a bit overboard?”

“Yes, and no. If this isn’t a prank of yours, someone took them and they may be hiding in your very house, waiting to slaaay you as you sleep.”

She was skeptical. Doof could take things too seriously at times … but he had a point. Something had happened with the muffins, and it could be serious. It would also be fun to play the detective, so she grabbed a brush of her own and helped dust for fingerprints;  None came up.

“What if … it wasn’t a person? Maybe Lyle ate them … “

Doof was inspecting the floor behind the counter now, and shook his head. “I would’ve noticed a goozim coming here. It must have been something more discreet.”

Mel crouched on the opposite side to do the same. “Hey, look! There’s this!” She handed him a tiny blue thread she’d just found. “It feels weird though, doesn’t it? It doesn’t feel like clothing … “

The emperor twirled it around his fingers, nodding slowly. “No, it doesn’t. Perhaps some sort of animal, or … AHA!” He grinned triumphantly, and a bit maniacally, and pointed to a few crumbs on the floor. Mel couldn’t help but laugh. “Following muffin crumbs? Exactly the kind of evil work I had planned for today!” She smiled and took the lead, looking for more crumbs outside the kitchen and into the laundry area. Eventually they found enough crumbs to follow, and they led to a supply closet; Doof was about to open the door when some clattering could be heard from within.

Mel’s eyes narrowed and she went immediately into a professional mode. What if there was an intruder? Without a word, she motioned for Doof to move to the side, clearing the path in front of the door. Both of them pulled out their weapons and stood with their backs against the wall. Doof waved for Mel to go, so, standing on her tiptoes, she silently positioned herself and grabbed the doorknob, yanking the  door open and aiming her gun inside. Behind her, Doof had his own gun drawn, ready to cover her if needed.

“Freeze, you- LEROY?!” Mel snickered. Inside the closet was Leroy, the young little blue parakeet from the second dimension, who  believed he was an agent. He was laying on the tray, surrounded by crumbs clearly stuffed from eating … all the muffins.

“Oh, hi Mel! Hi Karl’s boss!” He flapped his wings excitedly. “What are those? They look cool! Do they kill zombies like in those movies?” He pointed to their guns with a wing, and Mel and Doof quickly put them away. “Don’t worry about them … “, Mel said.

Doof stared with an incredulous look on his face. “You ate my muffins? All of them? There were twenty!!”

The parakeet looked confused. “They were yours? Oh … I didn’t know! I found them lying there! They were yummy though, so I ate them all! I wish they were cupcakes instead, those are much yummier!”

Mel burst out laughing. Out of all the possibilities, she had not anticipated that. She looked at Leroy, curious. “Wait, how did you even get here, sweetie?”

“Dunno”, Leroy shrugged. “Karl was too busy working so I flew to see his boss in the big building where he keeps all the fun hidden, but  I ended up here. And that was even better because I got the yummy muffins!”

Melinda nodded. Leroy was known for jumping dimensions sometimes, so it sounded pretty plausible. Doof growled, tempted to throw the bird right down a goozim’s mouth for eating his muffins. But even he couldn’t be mad at Leroy for long. “We’ll call Karl and tell him to pick you up”, he grumbled and left the room, muttering in German to himself.

“Well … mystery solved.”, Mel snickered again. Karl was going to have so much fun with a Leroy hyped up on that much sugar …  

[itsevilgirl]

Wild card- can you write about one of the times 2d-Doof tortured you, if you're comfortable with it? Thanks love! - Twin

Wild card: any scene of requester’s choosing - 2D-Doof torturing Mel

The Normbots dragged her in, lifting her up in the air by the arms with their iron grip. Literally, as they were made of iron … or maybe steel, she wasn’t sure. They dragged her all the way to the Chambers, down in the very last floor of the D.E.I. building in the second dimension. As soon as she got there, Doofenshmirtz, the dictator, turned around to face her with a calm smile; calm, but with an obvious darkness to it. He pulled the gag out of Melinda’s mouth, and spoke in a cordial manner that was very unnerving.

“Mel, what a pleasure to have you here. See, you know something that I want to know. So please, tell me. Where is Melinda?”

He was asking about the Melinda from the second dimension, his ex girlfriend, who had recently gone into hiding after stabbing him. Both of them were Mel’s friends, and she wasn’t about to let that psycho lose on her (equally psychotic) Twin. She looked right at him, smiling sadly.

“I can’t tell you. Doof, you know I can’t tell you!”

He wasn’t phased. “Ah, right. Loyal to the end. Mel, let me make something very clear: you are my friend, and as much as I enjoy torture I don’t want to torture you. But I will. Make no mistake, you will tell me where she is; the choice of how we’ll do it is yours.” He smiled widely, but the smile didn’t reach his eye.

Mel wasn’t intimidated, and said firmly. “I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”

“Very well. ” With a frustrated sigh, he gave the order. “Normbots, strap her in.”

His robots pushed her down on a table, pulling her arms to the side and strapping down her wrists with a metal band. She grunted and tried to fend them off, but there were too many and they were all too strong. They moved to her legs, strapping down her ankles and thighs.  She scoffed, upset, and when she looked up she found Doofenshmirtz looming over her, his smile having become very sinister.

Now she was intimidated. No, she was downright afraid. Friends or not, she knew of Doof’s reputation: he was an expert interrogator and delighted himself with the torture of others; whatever was coming to her, it was not going to be pleasant. But her eyes didn’t betray her fear, and she smirked at him.

“Aw, come on. I thought we were close friends, and you bring me to the infamous chambers? And let me tell you, from all I’ve heard about this place, everything looks quite tame.”

He smirked back at her. “We are close friends, that’s why I won’t do anything permanent to you. Consider yourself luuucky … you’ll be one of the few who walk out of here without any broken bones or major blood loss … most likely.”  It was an openly stated threat, and his smirk was quite foreboding.

“Now, let’s see … “, he continued, grinning madly with anticipation. He didn’t want to hurt her, but it didn’t matter; he was hurting someone, so he was still going to enjoy himself. He pulled out a dagger with a red handle and a  silver ‘D’ carved on it, and eyed it fondly, as if it was a beloved childhood toy. “I think we’ll start with something nice and simple, hm?”

He slid the blade across her stomach, but only so it’d break the skin.  She let out a sharp pained breath and felt the blood soaking her dress.

“Where is Melinda, Mel?”

She laughed bitterly. “What, is that all you got?!”

He sneered, making another cut. “I wouldn’t advise you to push me. Where is she?” Mel winced and shook her head, not saying a word. He relished the chance to hurt her again, and quickly sliced her twice more, both times a little deeper than before; she whined and squeezed her eyes shut, but quickly reopened them  to flash him a cheeky smile and say  ”Darn it, Doof. Now my dress is ruined. You owe me a dress.”

They kept at it for a while, and he made each cut deeper and deeper. She’d grit her teeth and groan, but she refused to scream, and that was maddening to him. Where was the fun in torturing someone if they don’t even scream? Frustrated, he raised the bloody dagger  to her chin, roughly pushing it up. She felt the still-wet blood from it get on her and hissed at him, with a defiant pout.

“Do you think this is a game, Melinda? I have all day, but you are trying my patience. Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?!” He shook her by the shoulders, baring his teeth.

Mel’s green eyes grew wide with fear, and as soon as he picked up on it he grinned widely again, malice dripping from his every word. “It looks like we’re getting on the same page now. Which of my toys will I use next? I’ve always been fond of the whip … it’s a classic for a reason … but hm, that may leave a nasty scar … “

She shuddered but forced herself to glare at him. “I … can’t … say! You and your … silly ‘toys’ won’t get it out of me!”

It took all of his strength not to slap her across the face right there, but he knew that would be crossing a line. Instead, he pressed the blade hard against her cheek and snarled into her ear. “You will break, sooner or later!! Everyone does!!”

Mel flinched and shrank away from him as best as she could, not daring to look him in the eye now. That gave him a moment to recompose, and he started walking away. “I think it’s time to introduce you to one of my many torture-inators.”

She couldn’t see where he’d gone, and that made her very anxious. She tried to take advantage of the alone time to break out of the restraints, but before she had time to get anywhere with it she heard his footsteps approaching again. When he came into her view, he pushing a huge, imposing machine with four tiny wheels. Mel gasped at the sight, and he took that as a sign to start his speech.

“This is probably my favorite of the torture inaaators. I built it myself, naturally. What it does is, it messes with your nerve receptors and makes you feel like you’re being stabbed by a thousand knives, all over your body.” He paused to let the horrifying news sink in, with that same perverse smile etched on his face. “It’s perfectly safe, of course, and no harm will come to you, but … it will be the most excruciating pain you’ve ever experienced. I’ll give you one last chance! Where. is. Melinda?”

Mel shook her head again. His expression darkened, and as he muttered an “as you wish” he plugged in the inator, pointing it right at her. She grit her teeth and closed her eyes, preparing for the torment that was about to come. Without any mercy, he pressed the big purple button.

He was right. It was the most excruciating pain she’d ever experience. All her previous defiance was futile now, for as soon as that beam hit her she cried out in pain, clenching her fists and tugging against the restraints. Her muscles were contracting so wildly that it was a miracle she didn’t break any bones when she thrashed against the metal bands keeping her in that table. Tears were streaming down now and she thought she was going to die. Suddenly the pain stopped all at once, and she gasped and trembled; she could see Doofenshmirtz near her again, his smile more sadistic than ever. He had clearly enjoyed the display.

“Again. Where is Melinda?”

Mel whimpered but still kept quiet, making him press the button again. She yelled and pleaded for him to stop, but he didn’t.

“TELL ME WHERE MELINDA IS!!”

She couldn’t, she couldn’t! She had to be strong! But it was too much … the pain of a thousand knives was more than she could bear. In between sobs she told him the one word she’d always be ashamed of: “Okay.”

He turned off the inator and stepped to her, leaning against the table with a smug smirk and a hand on his hip.

“Well? Where is she?”

“P-please … just stop … l-let me go … “, she whimpered.

“Where.  Is.  She.”, he insisted, the smirk twisting into a scowl.

Mel shut her eyes again, taking a deep breath; she was too embarrassed to face him. Her confession was a mere whisper. “That house in the first dimension that she bought about a year ago.”

Doofenshmirtz grinned, pleased with himself. “Thank you. I told you you’d break. Don’t feel bad, everyone does … I’m just that evil. ” He snapped his fingers and motioned to the Normbots to release her. As soon as they did, she struggled to get up and started to walk away. She wasn’t thinking about where she was going, she just had to get out of the Chambers. Doofenshmirtz tried to help her steady herself, but she just spat out an insult. “Do NOT touch me! You’re unbelievable, Doof. Just unbelievable.”

Not very insulted, he shrugged and opened a dimensional portal so she could get home. She left without saying another word, glaring daggers at him and wincing with every step. The last thing he saw before closing the portal was the obscene gesture she’d made at him.

It would only be a week until they were best friends again. 

[itsevilgirl]

Unbind Me, with you and 2dDoof. -Twin

((Twiiin! <3 

Okay, warning. This drabble has very small hints of an adult situation. I really don’t think it needed to be under a Read More, but I wanted to be on the safe side. This is something that actually happened on Twitter, too. ))

Unbind Me: I’ll write a drabble about your character freeing mine, or the other way around, or something among the lines [be it freeing them from jail, from handcuffs, from a trap, from a curse, feel free to specify.]

It was six in the morning and Melinda was sound asleep, all tucked in under three blankets, until the ringing of a phone pierced through the quiet night. She felt Heinz stirring next to her, and mumbled “Just let it go to voicemail … “

He was more than happy to comply. The noise stopped soon, and Mel sighed happily and adjusted her body so she was more comfortable. And then it started again. She frowned, hoping it would stop again. It did, but not for long. Whoever was calling was very insistent. She groaned and lazily opened her eyes. Heinz rolled over on his side to face her, eyelids drooping and hair all disheveled. “Rock paper scissor?”, he asked with a yawn. Mel nodded, and watched as his fingers formed the shape of a peace sign, while she held her open palm out. He smirked, satisfied, and fell flat on his pillow again, while she moaned and dragged herself off her warm, comfortable bed. So, so comfortable. She made her way to the living room, mentally thinking of all the possible ways to torture the person on the other side of the line.

“Hello?” Her voice was still croaked from being awakened in the middle of the night.

“Mel? Finally! Do you knooow how long I’ve been calling for?!”, the Doofenshmirtz of the second dimension sounded mildly irritated.

“Doof?” She was instantly alert. He must’ve been in some sort of trouble to call so late. Or early, depending on how you look at things. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, but I need you to come to my dimension. I’m in my room.”, he said rather flatly.

“….Now? Do you even know what time it is? If you’re fine, can’t it wait?”, she whined.

His reply came as an angry hiss. “Melinda, I’m the Emperor and I demaaand that come right now!”

Royalty. She forgot they had a huge sense of entitlement all the time. “What, I don’t even get a ‘please’, huh?” She would have been amused if it wasn’t six in the morning. Nothing amused her at six in the morning.

“No”,  Mel could practically hear the smirk in his tone. “But I do need you to come, it’s a … biiit of an emergency.”

She sighed. “Fine … if it’s an emergency.” She hung up and opened a portal to his building, deciding it was better to keep her pajamas on than waste time changing. He sounded okay, but maybe it was a real emergency.

Mel made her way through the corridors until she found the tall, thick wooden doors that she knew would lead into his room, carved with the letter D. They were really fit for an emperor. She pushed them open, announcing herself. “Alright, I’m here. What’s the big emerg- “

She stopped short, not prepared for the scene displayed in front of her.

Doofenshmirtz was laying on his bed, shirtless. His arms were stretched out, with each wrist handcuffed to a different side of the headboard. His eyepatch was slightly crooked and he was smiling calmly, not looking very bothered at all. Thankfully he’d been able to use his legs to pull some covers over the lower half of his body, so Mel didn’t have to see anything she shouldn’t.

Truth be told, he was embarrassed by it. It was a very undignified situation for an Emperor to be caught in! He expected Mel to blush, or maybe play it cool, but he didn’t expect her to burst out laughing the way she did. He narrowed his one eye. “Oh, har har har, very funny, Mel.”

She was trying her best to be serious, but she couldn’t stop herself! She was laughing so hard she was tearing up, but  somehow managed to blurt out: “What … happened … to you?”

” … I was with Melinda … “

“Hooo, I figured as much!”, she interrupted, finally getting a hold on her laughter. He was referring, of course, to the other Melinda, from the second dimension.

“She got angry when I called her ‘doll’. You know how she can be. And she, well, she left me here.”

Mel had to give him some credit. He was being very collected and nonchalant about the whole thing. “Seriously, you have to stop calling her that! And I’m assuming you want me to uncuff you. Where are the keys?”

This time, he seemed slightly embarrassed when he answered, and grimaced. “She took them.”

“Bahahahah, of course she did! Alright, don’t worry, I’m a professional thief. I can open any kind of handcuffs, just give me a second.” She walked to his nightstand, looking for anything pointy. Once she found something satisfying, she approached the bed and started working on the first handcuff. “Why didn’t  you ask your Normbots to do this? Seriously, it’s six in the morning.”

He sneered. “It’s a delicate job, the hand of a NormBot wouldn’t be well suited for it.”

Mel nodded, freeing his left hand. She could see how that was true. He let his arm drop to his side while she moved to work on the other handcuff. “How about Karl, or anyone that works for you? Wait, let me guess … you didn’t want them to see this!”, she smirked.

He shot her a deadly glare, but agreed. “Yeees, this is undignified! No one that resides in my Empire can know about it!”

Melinda  laughed and finished forcing the second handcuff open. He sat upright, rubbing his wrists. “Thank you, Mel.”

“Anytime!”, she said, snickering a bit, while opening a new portal back to her dimension.

“Mel?” he stopped her, scowling. “If you tell a soul about this, I will shoot you. Understood?”

She gave a confirming nod and a grin, and stepped back to her dimension. As soon as she closed the portal, she muttered to herself.

“I hope he knows ‘a soul’ doesn’t include Gabbi, Annie or Heinz … “

Upon seeing that her husband was already up, she exclaimed excitedly. “Heinz! You’re not gonna believe what just happened!!”

[itsevilgirl]

Doom? Doom!

So, I got to witness my first dooming today. 

You know, dooming. In the second dimension? When Emperor Doofenshmirtz gets mad or someone breaks the law, so he sentences people to be eaten by a Goozim or fall into a pit of lava? That kind of dooming.

Not voluntarily, mind you. Noooo, Doof (@alt_RulerDoof) and Melinda (@altEvilGirl) took it upon themselves to kidnap me and take me to their dimension to force me to watch someone get doomed. 

They even chained me to a darned chair and shot me with laser blasters if I tried to look away.

*shakes her head in exasperation, thinking of the metal scraping against her soft wrists and ankles* 

....Ugh, I have got to find better friends. *pouts* 

Yeah right, I love these guys. I'm just a little mad right now. 

And do you want to know why they did it? Because they wanted to know if I'd enjoy it, like...like the psychopath they are! 

For the last time, just because I got a little carried away during the -A incident (which she totally deserved, by the way!) does NOT mean I'm a killer or anything of the sort!! 

And I'm not going to tell them if I enjoyed watching someone get doomed or not. I'm not even telling them if it bothered or scared me or made me excited. I'm not telling those psychos a darned thing. 

Hmph.