#30daysoface

[resistandfight]

(30 Day Asexual Challenge) Day 10: What have other people said about your asexuality?

Mostly good things. Some neutral things. A few hurtful things, more out of ignorance than anything else.

The one that stings most is the thought that it is "easier," as expressed by a few people I've talked to about it. It isn't easier. It hurts and it's hard and it's confusing and I don't ever know how people will react because many aren't even aware it exists beyond conceptualizing asexuality as some sort of biological reproductive process, and those that are can either think it's some sort of freakish problem or be okay with it. There's hate from so many sides and a whole lot of just not knowing or understanding any of it. Sometimes I barely feel as if I understand it-- understand me-- myself.

But many have been kind. Some have said they feel the same, and it's been great to learn from them and grow with them on this journey to understanding me better. Some have wanted to learn more. Some have wanted to learn more and stumbled a bit in their learning, made the comments like that of it being "easier," but we learn together. I learn to explain better, and they learn how more about what it's like.

Ignorance is a hard enemy to fight against, but I think I get a little better at it each day.

[resistandfight]

(30 Day Asexuality Challenge) Day 09: What does being asexual mean to you?

It means I fall within the asexuality spectrum. It means that when it comes to being attracted to people in a sexual sense, I don't (or at least very rarely) experience that. What it doesn't mean is that I don't want to have sex (I'm intrigued, and I suppose if I ever have a partner that was sexual and I wanted to have sex with them, I would.) It doesn't mean I can't fall in love-- I have. And it doesn't mean I'm broken, or a freak, or that I reproduce by dividing into two.

It just means I'm me. That's all.

[resistandfight]

(30 Days of Asexuality) Day 05: 5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

Is it weird I don't actually remember for sure who this was? I'm pretty sure the first person I came out to (other than Tumblrverse) was my roommate last year, and it was a surprisingly chill conversation. She'd been away for Thanksgiving break and I'd come to the realization during it, so when she came back it kind of slipped into our "yeah and this is what happened over break" kind of thing. She took it pretty well, though I'm not sure she understood it.

Either that or it was my now-current roommate, and it came up when she asked me while looking at my Tumblr why I was tracking the asexuality tag. It was a very "hm" moment for her, I think.

[resistandfight]

(30 Day Asexuality Challenge) Day 03: How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

It was right after I turned nineteen, so almost a year ago now. To be honest it was kind of a slow process of coming into the realization that I was ace, starting mostly with just seeing the word mentioned on Tumblr and researching it out of curiosity. Eventually I got to seeing how much it fit, and I've stuck with it since.

[resistandfight]

(30 Day Asexuality Challenge) Day 02: Are you out? To whom?

I'm out to pretty much all of my friends here at college; if they don't know, it's because it's not come up for whatever reason. I'm also out to a few friends from high school, and others who may have read a post I did promoting Asexuality Awareness Week on Facebook. I'm not out to anyone in my family, though.

And, obviously, I'm out on Tumblr. :P

[graycalls]

2. Are you out? To whom?

I am actually out to most everyone I know? I'm not really ~hidden~ about it, so if sexuality comes up, I'll mention it. It's just not a big deal. /shrugs

Granted, a lot of people don't seem to get it and keep going 'oh, you just haven't meet the right person' but whatevs. /all of the shrugs

I mean- I'm out about the 'asexual' to my parents. Not so much about the 'panromantic'. 

Because that would be a bad scene. 

[graycalls]

30 Days of Ace ~ Day One

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? 

I am asexual biromantic. This, as one might imagine, makes somethings confusing. On the one hand, I can conclusively say that I want to have sex with no one. See two posts ago for my reaction to a strange increase of dick on the Swedish tag. 

On the other hand, I can also quite conclusively say that I would love to be in a nonsexual, romantic relationship with someone of any gender. 

This is why I dislike explaining my sexuality to people, because they automatically assume that asexual means 'forever alone', which it doesn't. It just means that I want something along the lines of a moirail, rather than a matesprit. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch Battlestar Galactica, rather than have hot dirty sex. Does that make me strange? Sure, why not, norm's an impossibility, anyway. 

But, yeah. Asexual biromantic. 

Ladies, Gentlemen~