364 plus 1, day four
Dear dear,
I changed up the title, did you see? Anyhow. Today was not as bad as yesterday. Although I wanted to write a little story about a tumbleweed who got caught up in a fence I started a small dialogue between me and my best friend, where we are working adults, dealing with adult problems and adulting every day.
I tried to make it fun and create an actual protagonist out of myself but I don't think I am worthy of being amazing on “electronic paper” if I am not my own ultimate protagonist in real life.
How can I become one?
I have to find the good in every bad, happiness in sadness, progression in taking a step back. I have to concentrate on myself instead of others. My friend suggested: “Don’t compare your problems to others’.” She is right. My problems might not be as bad as yours and I am terribly sorry that you have to experience them but for me, finding me after losing myself is my worst problem I have to solve.
It might not be the best idea but I am:
- writing everyday, something little. sometimes meaningless
- listening to music, I went back to classics like Bach and Schubert.
- working, tutoring kids.
- talking to friends, though sometimes they don’t answer for hours and that when the dark thoughts attack me.
I am fighting against a strong urge and so far I am succeeding. I cannot give up, my healing just started.