Thank you so much for the tag @godmadeaterribleerror !! ♡ ♡
I do love sharing a little something from a wip of mine, so here’s a snippet of my newest 40s!soldier!Bucky x 40s!Nurse!Reader fic:
He spots you and something in his face loosens. The world around him — the reprimands, the lined faces, the echo of the head nurse’s answer — all seem to blur at the margins. His smile manages to be both cocky and earnest. The combination should not work, but it does, like a hinge greased with charm. He’s not subtle about it at all. The air moves around you, small plates realigning.
Steve — his best friend, you learned over time — steps up as well, but he remains an outline near the tent flap. His presence carries disappointment like a cloak folded neatly on a chair. He doesn’t interject. His mouth just presses into a line that could be sympathy, could be admonishment. You read it as both. He knows of Bucky’s stubbornness and the consequences when that stubbornness meets a body that needs tending.
“Thought I’d swing by,” Bucky goes on, but it isn’t an excuse. It’s the sort of statement that feels like a question folded in two. “Figured if I had to be patched up, might as well make sure the best hands are on it.”
He tilts his head toward you, playful but precise, a wink in his voice rather than his eyes. It isn’t a confession, it rather is a choice. A small but almost intimate, deliberate selection, like dropping a coin into a jar and hearing it land exactly where you wanted.
Also, your girl finally figured out how to do em dashes instead of using hyphens all the time, and I feel like a complete idiot.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little part 🫶🏻
Tagging some of my lovely beans to share a snippet of their work as well: @elixirfromthestars @elvenrin @yourladyjane @littlebirdygirlywriting @lives-in-midgard @daydreamgoddess14 @phoenix-in-writing @mrs-elsie-barnes @cheekybarnes @lovelybarnes @houseofhyde
WARNINGS!!! attempted suicide, other references to suicide, grief, lots of angst, then we have fluff, HAPPY ENDING!!!
instead of going back to be with peggy, steve goes back to the 40s to bring someone important to bucky back with him. cause he’s not the only one who promised bucky to be with him until the end of the line.
basically. steve is a good fucking friend.
The war was over.
Families were re-joined.
Sons, daughters, husbands and wives were back.
Friends were back.
But not hers.
She walked through the busy streets of Brooklyn, a place that she called home.
But not anymore.
Everyone was celebrating, dancing on the streets, crying in happiness, laughing, singing, kissing...
But not her.
She wore black, holding on to fresh flowers as she walked. Her gaze would sometimes wander to the alleyways, out of simple hope that she would see them.
Oh how foolish of her.
Slowly the happiness disappeared as she neared her destination. People wearing more and more dim colours, speaking in hushed voices, crying in sadness rather than happiness.
When she finally made it, she just kneeled and put down her fresh flowers, saying.
“Hi, there boys. I brought you some fresh flowers... nothing as prestige as the others brought but well, at least I came here to visit my boys. Not some poster boys they made you...”
Her gaze locked with twin grave stones.
James Buchanan Barnes.
1917 - 1945
The Fallen Commando.
Steven Grant Rogers
1918 - 1945
Captain America, Hero of all.
She glared at the stones, saying “Lots of bullshit you have written here. Sorry, Stevie I know that ladies shouldn’t swear, but you know I’m right. They wouldn’t even let me decide what should be written here, they just came here and wrote whatever they wanted... they didn’t even know either of you... you were just fucking weapons to them—“
“Young lady! This is a secret ground! Have some respect!” an older woman scolded her, as she passed by.
She glared at her, hissing “Bite my ass, old hag!”
The woman looked horrified as she crossed herself, saying something about calling the police.
She ignored, the woman as she turned back to the grave stones, saying “Sorry... I—I just” she started tearing up, as she said “I miss you both so much! You were everything to me and you promised! You fucking promised that you’d be back! You said that we’d all be together until the end of the line! And now you’re both—“
Sobbing she took off her ring, looking at it as she said “Bucky y-you promised... you said that you’d be back. That we’re gonna have a small wedding, move in together—“ she let out a small chuckle “—you even said that you’ll let me have a cat... a-and you hate cats but you said that I will be able keep it, as long as it doesn’t piss in your shoes o-or shit on your paper... Stevie even wanted to be it’s god father” she ended with a small laugh, as she still sobbed.
“And I agreed to have three kids, j-just like you always dreamed to have with me... I know that I always was saying that you wanted me for the kids, but it was all jokes. God I hope that you know—knew that. To be honest all I’ve ever wanted was to have a family with you... I just wanted a life with you but now—“ she started sobbing again, loudly screaming into her hands in sorrow.
As she calmed down a bit, she stood up and said to both of the graves.
“I-I’m sorry, but this will be the last time that I’m going to visit you... at least here. We promised to be together until the end of the line and...” she bit her lip harshly, saying “And I suppose the end is here...”
With that she turned and made her way towards the Brooklyn Bridge.
The sun was setting as she stood on the edge of the empty bridge. She long stopped crying, accepting her fate.
Smiling softly she whispered “I’ll see you boys soon...”
Her leg moved, ready to fall but suddenly there was a strange sound behind her and large arms grabbed her waist pulling her away from the edge.
“Y/N!”
She gasped, tearing herself away from the other person gasping as she saw his face.
“S-Stevie?”
Steve nodded, his eyes wide with fear as he stared at her.
Without second thoughts she jumped into his arms, squeezing him with all of her strength.
“B-But how?! You’re dead! Oh God you’re dead Steve!” she screamed and suddenly pulled away grabbing his face, looking him all over “You look older and your hair? It’s longer and— what the hell are you wearing?!”
Her best friend was wearing some sort of white and red suit with an “A” logo on his chest. It looked strange... almost futuristic.
Steve suddenly teared up and hugged her closely “I found you, before... you’re really here, it worked”
She was confused what he meant but returned the hug, also tearing up “You’re here Stevie... you’re here...”
“Yes, I am. You’re never going to be alone again. I came back like we promised. I’m here to take you home”
She pulled away again, looking up at her childhood friend “Bucky! Is he—Is he here?! Is he also alive?”
Steve smiled and nodded “Yes. Yes. Yes he’s alive. We missed you so much, Y/N... oh God it worked”
She started crying with him as he said that her fiancé is alive “Where, Stevie?! Where is he?! And for the love of God, what the hell worked?!”
That’s when Steve explained, everything. How he survived the plane crash, how Bucky survived the fall, how they were in the future and how there was apparently a time machine, which he used to get to her.
“So this is really... where I was supposed to die?” she questioned softly, suddenly realising the weight of what she was about to do. What she apparently did.
Steve nodded “Yes... I found out when I got out of the ice... I-I couldn’t take it. Y-You were— are so always so...”
“Alone... I’m alone Steve” she said crying “You and Bucky... were all I had. With you I was fine, I had dreams and a loving family in you. After your deaths... I lost my job, didn’t have any money left, they kicked me from our apartment yesterday, the last money I had. I spent on flowers for your grave, Steve... I have nothing left here. I won’t even survive, until next month... I have nothing... so I thought that I could at least, die quickly without getting killed on the streets or starving...”
“I am so sorry, Y/N... I don’t know what to say... we never really thought about what would happen to you if we didn’t come back... Bucky did but then again he was always hopeful to come back to you. Always believing... and I was a stupid punk who just wanted to do something that mattered, I assumed that you’d be fine. And I am sorry for that, Y/N. I really am so so sorry for being ignorant and stupid punk”
She shook her head “I never truly blamed you... neither of you. It wasn’t your fault”
He handed her a wristband which he secured on her wrist and clicked a button, making a costume familiar to his appear on her with a helmet.
“Bloody hell! This is better than that flying car!”
Steve laughed at her “Oh, you’re gonna love the future”
That made her stop for a second and look around. Everything will be different where she’s going...
“Y/N... if you have any doubts, I understand. But Bucky and I will take care of you, we’ll help you like we always did. Just trust us okay?”
She nodded firmly, looking into his eyes “I trust you, Steve. All I’ve ever wanted was to be with you and Bucky... until the end of the line”
He smiled and repeated “Until the end of the line” with that he told her to hold on.
From then on, things got blurry, before getting sharper again. She noticed some people standing around, but that wasn’t the problem for now.
“He’s back!”
“Who is—?”
She groaned and leaned against Steve, saying “Take this shit off, I’m gonna be sick”
Steve immediately clicked something and the suit retreated back into the wristband, as she stumbled a bit and squeezed her eyes shut.
She groaned, saying “Oh fuck... it’s like that cyclone ride all over again...”
“Cap? Who is— Hey cyborg, you okay? Hey, hey Steve your friend looks ready to pass out!”
“Is this Lady Peggy?”
With a frown she asked a large blonde homeless man “Who the hell is Peggy?”
“Y/N?”
Slowly she moved and locked her eyes with a familiar steel-blue ones.
“Bucky...”
He looked different.
Really fucking different.
But it didn’t matter now, as she let out a wet sob and ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“I thought that I would never see you again!” she sobbed into his jacket.
He squeezed her tightly, mumbling her name like a mantra.
They stayed this way for a long while, with her squeezing him painfully tight and him just holding her as strong as he could without hurting her, while whispering her name all over again.
“Steve... what is this?” someone asked, in the background.
“Later, Sam” Steve answered, to whoever asked the question.
Slowly Bucky started pulling away, as she squeezed him even tighter, afraid to let the man go.
“Doll... let me look at you. Please, please let me see” he whispered.
After few more minutes, she pulled away a tiny bit to look into his eyes. He looked at her as if he was doubting his own brain that she’s here, in his arms. In this time.
“You’re so fucking perfect, doll. I can’t believe that you’re here, after all those years...” he whispered, his hands shaking.
She didn’t pay attention to his metal arm on her cheek as she also stared at him, touching his long hair and beard.
“Honey, I think that when I was screaming “Jesus” every time you scared the shit out of me, you took it too literally...” she said with a laugh, as more tears fell down.
Bucky burst out laughing, more tears falling down his cheeks as he said “Yeah, doll. I think I did take it way too seriously”
She looked at him laughing and said “I love you”
He stopped short and went red, like he always did when she said it. But still he smiled and said back “I love you too”
Slowly they leaned closer to each other, before kissing slowly. The sweetness of each other’s lips mixed with the saltiness of the tears that were still falling.
They pulled away and Bucky whispered “I’m not the same man, doll...”
She put her hands on his cheeks, looking into his cold blue eyes and whispered “I’m not the same woman, Bucky. Just minutes ago I was ready to throw myself off of a bridge...”
He stiffened at this, his eyes going dark in a way that she had never seen before. But still it was her Bucky.
“Just because we’re both different and broken... doesn’t mean that we can’t be together...” she said, honestly.
Bucky stared at her, thinking that he doesn’t deserve to have her here. But still his heart was so light, so full just by seeing her again.
He can still remember imagining her gentle touches in the darkness of HYDRA’S facilities. Seeing her face right before they put his brain back into a blender. He remembers the fall, hearing her lovely voice in his head, right before his arm got ripped off.
He doesn’t want to remember these things about her. He wants to live through them again, with the real her by his side.
So he lets himself be selfish as he says thickly “Marry me, doll”
She lets out a sob, while nodding “Always. Forever, Bucky. Only you”
He also lets out a sob, saying “I love you so much. There’s no one else, only you doll. Until the end of the line, it’ll always be just you”
They hug and cry together as the others leave them. Letting them be together after so much time apart.
It would seem like, even time isn’t able to keep soulmates apart for long. In the end, they’ll always find their way back to each other.
Of course with a help of a good and stubborn friend that is.
Thanks for reading!!! Hope that you liked it! You can send me a request, but please read this post before you do!!
summary: After losing Bucky, you were devastated. So when Howard Stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you're the first in line.
warnings: Some h*ckin’ words.
a/n: So like. This is lowkey inspired by old jazz music. I've always loved jazz, and I just wanted to write something surrounding it. Let me know what you think!
"Army camps are strange," you said quietly, peering out the window curiously.
Your driver laughed a little, saying something about how you'd get used to it, but you paid him no mind. You were too busy looking at your new home. Men in army uniforms swarmed the area, and you realized just what you were getting yourself into as the car parked and the driver opened your door. The was muddy, crowded, and the air reeked of testosterone.
"Y/N!"
You turned at the sound of a familiar voice, grinning as you saw the familiar brunette walking across the yard to you. The men around her were parting like the Red Sea. Her hair was perfectly curled, as always, her lips painted a bright red. Peggy Carter was just as perfect as she had been in school.
"Peggy!" You said happily as you embraced her. "I've missed you so much!"
It had only been a year since you had graduated from your overly priced boarding school, but you hadn't gotten to see your roommate in that entire year, despite the fact that she had relocated to America to help with the war efforts right after. Mostly because your parents had been determined to keep you at home, in the deep south of Louisiana, and Peggy had been stationed up north in New York.
She pulled away from you, her hands resting on your shoulders. "I have so much to show you. And Abraham is ecstatic to meet you."
Ah, yes. Abraham Erskine. Your new boss. The entire reason you had gotten to come was because Peggy had mentioned how gifted you were in science, and because the man trusted her so much, he had agreed to hire you. Your parents had been appalled at first. They knew, of course, how smart you were, but they expected you to focus on getting a husband and having kids after you had come home. You were supposed to settle down with a nice, Southern boy of the corn-fed variety and have at least four children. It was what they did, what your sisters and brothers did, and it was only natural that they expected it of you, too. Even though you had been given some leeway as the youngest of the family, your parents were starting to get impatient. Your hope chest was the only one left, and your mama reminded you every chance she got. Typically, only the first born girl got a hope chest, but your daddy had insisted that every single one of you did.
You envied Peggy, in that her parents wanted her to follow her passion, even if it meant moving across the ocean.
She led you through the camp as the men started to notice you. It was hard not to, since you and Peggy were the only women in a ten mile radius, and they certainly weren't getting anything out of her. When you finally found Erskine, he was standing beside another man and watching a group of soldiers doing push ups.
"Dr. Erskine, this is Y/N L/N," she said.
The man turned to look at you, shaking your hand firmly as he clasped it with the other. "Ms. L/N, I've heard so many good things about you. I'm so excited to work with you."
His accent took you by surprise, but you didn't let it show as you shook his hand back. "The pleasure is all mine, Doctor."
"And this is Colonel Chester Phillips," she said, motioning to the man that Erskine had been speaking with. He let out a grunt in replying, and Peggy rolled her eyes before turning back to watch the group of soldiers.
When you noticed the way Peggy was looking at one of the men, a scrawny one that looked more like a boy, you nudged her. "What happened to your no dating rule?"
"That was in school," she replied with an eye roll. She was pretending as though it was no big deal, but the blush on her cheeks said otherwise. "And you had the same rule, too, you know."
"I'm not the one staring lustfully at one of the men you're commanding," you teased, giggling as she smacked your arm. "But, really. Who is he?"
"His name is Steve Rogers," Peggy said. You had never seen her look at someone in that way, and it kind of confused you. She hadn't liked anyone in school, always claiming that the men were too immature and she didn't have time for them. You had adopted the same mentality after a while, which is probably why your parents didn't like Peggy too much.
The two of you went quiet, listening to the two men beside you talk. Something about a serum. You were a little surprised when Colonel Phillips grabbed a grenade and pulled the pin, but you relaxed when you realized it was a dummy. The men he had thrown it towards, however, had no idea. They began to scramble, and the man that Phillips wanted to have the serum ran, while Rogers threw himself on top of it.
You took a glance at Peggy, who was smirking triumphantly as he yelled for everyone to run. "He clearly has no regard for his own life and safety," you commented, but you were grinning. You could tell he had a good heart, and that was more important to you than being a good soldier.
You spent months with the army, even after Steve was given the serum and Dr. Erskine died. Having been given the most knowledge about the program, you had been asked to stay on. So you traveled with Peggy, staying in the same room and working side by side. It almost felt like grade school all over again. The only difference was that you were in a country side in Austria and not the center of London.
"When he gets back, you should tell him how you feel," you said to Peggy. The two of you were standing in a tent, a radio nearby. Steve had left on a mission to rescue a group of POWs days ago and you could tell how anxious she was. So you just kept telling her things the two of them could do when he got back, like dancing. The two of you had loved to go to the dance halls in England, but hadn't had time since the war started. "Maybe you two could go to that diner on Broadway? They have that delicious apple pie that tastes like it's from down south." She had always teased you on how adamant you were that southern baking was better, but you stuck by it.
She stood up suddenly, her eyes going wide. "Is that..." You followed her as she made her way out of the tent. She was completely focused on the horizon, and you realized as you kept walking, that there was a massive amount of men walking towards the camp.
And at the very front, was Steve Rogers.
Peggy froze, and you took the moment to nudge her forward. "Go."
She didn't need any more convincing. She walked towards him with a purpose, her stride sure and her hands in fists at her side. But you could tell by the way she was biting her lip that she was nervous. You didn't hear what was said, standing back a little as you watched her make what you were sure was some kind of smart ass comment.
"Let's hear it for Captain America!" You heard someone shout, and you laughed a little as you watched the men erupt into cheers. You hadn't seen the men this happy in a long, long time. Most of the time they wore sullen faces that matched the dreary weather. But now, even though they were hungry, covered in mud, and far from their homes, they had a ray of hope in the form of Steve Rogers.
You made your way back to you and Peggy's quarters, turning on the radio. It took you a minute or two to find a station that was playing music instead of news about the war, but when you did, you turned it up loud. Music was something you had missed while on the road. You were usually too busy to just stop and enjoy it, since you were constantly trying to decipher Erskine's notes. There were stacks upon stacks of his journals on your desk, but you ignored all of that for the moment. Hundreds of men had made it back alive today after days of thinking the worst. That deserved a little celebration.
So you kicked off your shoes and you sang. At first it started out with just a few phrases, the sound timid and soft, but soon you were belting along with it. You were completely losing yourself in the music. You sang word for word with Billie Holiday, one of your favorite artists, as she sang 'I Wished on the Moon.' It was an older track, released in 1935, and she was only a feature on it, but it was still your favorite song of hers.
You jumped as you heard a knock on the door, turning to see a man with shaggy brown hair and stubble lining his jaw in the doorway. "Is, uh... Is Steve here?"
Frowning, you crossed your arms over your chest. You were a little embarrassed that someone had caught you singing with the radio, if you were honest. You were technically a superior, even if you were a scientist. "Depends on who's asking." Even though Steve wasn't there, you didn't know who this man was or what he wanted.
"I'm James. Steve's friend," he said, his eyes focused on you with a type of intensity that you couldn't place. But it made your cheeks warm the longer he looked at you. "My friends call me Bucky."
Recognition dawned on your face as you pointed at him. "You're Steve's friend from Brooklyn?" When he nodded, you smiled a little, relaxing as you realized that he was one of the people that had just been saved from the HYDRA base. "He's told Peggy and me a lot about you."
"So... Is he here?"
You were about to tell him no, he wasn't, when the man in question came up behind him, Peggy by his side. "You lookin' for me, Buck?"
Peggy's gaze landed on you as she squeezed past the two men, taking notice of the song playing. "You still love this song?"
You shrugged as you moved over to turn it down slightly. "You know me. Billie Holiday will always be one of the best artists, in my opinion."
"So I see you've met Y/N," Steve said, bringing your attention back as he clapped a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "She was working as Dr. Erskine's assistant when they turned me into..." He motioned at his body, not sure how to explain it. "This."
"I didn't realize you were a scientist," Bucky said in shock, his eyebrows furrowing.
"She's always been smart. She graduated top of our class at school, beating even me," Peggy said proudly, a smirk on her lips. You had always thought that she was the person most proud of you, and you were always reminded of it when she started to brag about you. "I finally managed to get her out of Louisiana by telling Erskine about her. He seemed pretty eager to take on an assistant. Y/N's actually taken over his job since he died."
"It's really not that exciting," you insisted as you waved her off, wrapping your arms around yourself. "I spend most of my time trying to decipher his notes and what they mean. Peggy's the one that actually trained all the super soldier candidates."
"No," Bucky said, shaking his head. "Don't put down your work. It's impressive." He looked at you with a sort of wonder, and that added with the way he had been looking at you before meant only one thing.
You were in trouble.
You bit your lip as you sat at the bar with Peggy, sipping on a glass of whiskey. It gave you a little taste of home, reminding you of how your mama would shoot you a wink as she slipped in a little bit of whiskey into your sweet tea. She always made sure your daddy was none the wiser, since he would've thrown a fit if he had known that his little princess was drinking.
Oh, how you missed the long summer days that would fade into warm, sultry nights. Before your sisters got married, the three of you would sneak out and go to the dances in town, taking shots of alcohol from whatever soldier caught your fancy that night. You were never really interested in any of them, never even them give you a kiss goodnight. They could walk you home, and sometimes even hold their hand if they were lucky, but you never kissed them. None of them were worthy. They were just looking for someone to have one last romp in the sheets with before they shipped out to Europe.
You didn't want that. You didn't want to be wooed and then tossed to the side. All those men ever saw you for was your beauty. They saw your pretty face and that was it. They didn't care about the fact that you had a mind. So you had waited. You had ignored the teasing from your sisters as they snuck off to the soldier's beds, sleeping with a multitude of men before they were married. They had joked that you were going to be the only one to actually deserve to wear white on her wedding day. Your parents and your two brothers could never know, of course. They would've shot every soldier in town and then locked the three of you in your rooms until you turned fifty. Not to mention nailing the window shut, like your childhood friend, Elizabeth Ann's, parents did when they caught her sneaking out.
"—every time I think he's going to ask me on a date, he doesn't," Peggy ranted, throwing back a shot of vodka. Her nose scrunched up in disgust as she shook her head. "I don't get it. I haven't exactly been subtle with my flirting."
"Peggy," you said, a smile tugging on your lips, "in case you haven't noticed, you're a little bit intimidating."
"I'm not intimidating!"
You couldn't help but giggle, feeling the alcohol start to take effect as you looked at your best friend. "Every man in here is terrified to talk to you." You shook her shoulder playfully. "It's because you're strong. And men are scared of strong women."
"Maybe that's why Bucky hasn't asked you out yet," Peggy replied, raising a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at you.
You sputtered, choking a little on the whiskey. "What? Why would you say that?"
She rolled her eyes, turning herself in her bar stool to look out at the sea of men in the bar. They were all in uniform, but you could easily pick out Bucky. He was sitting in the back with a group of about eight men, plus Steve. His head was thrown back in a laugh, his hand resting on Steve's shoulder. He was absolutely radiant. Even when he got in one of his moods where the only people he wanted to talk to were Steve, Peggy, and you, he was beautiful.
"Because you and Bucky do this all the time."
Your focus turned back to her, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Do what?"
"This!" She motioned at you sloppily, the alcohol clearly taking it's toll. You hadn't seen her this tipsy since you snuck a bottle of liquor into your dorm room. "You two love to do this whole wistful staring when the other isn't watching thing, but the moment the other turns around, you look away! It's positively, absolutely pitiful!"
You shook your head, sputtering. "I don't do that! I don't do wistful staring!" You threw back the rest of your whiskey, turning to look at the bartender as you slid the glass to him. "I'm the ruthless southern belle that's broken the hearts of a thousand men, remember? And half of them were soldiers!" Peggy had always loved hearing stories about your summer when you went back to school, and it became an inside joke that you were a heartbreaker, simply because you didn't let men walk all over you.
"Mind if I buy you another?"
You whirled around to see Bucky standing there, a soft smile on his lips. Swallowing, you nodded, and he raised a hand to call over the bartender. After the glass of whiskey was slid across the bar to you, he turned to look at you once again. "So what's this about being a ruthless southern belle?" He took a seat on the stool next to you, and you were extremely aware of how his thigh brushed against yours. "And have you really broken the hearts of a thousand men?"
Groaning, you shot a glare at Peggy who had abandoned you and was walking towards a blushing Steve Rogers. "You heard that?"
"I most certainly did, and now I want the whole story."
He had a mischievous glint in his eye that made your knees weak, and you had to hold yourself back from kissing the smirk of those stupid lips of his. He was cocky. Usually it would make you run far, far away from a man, but he had a certain boyish charm that made you want to know more. You hated to admit it, but Peggy was kind of right about the wistful staring. In the six months since he had been rescued, you had spent a lot of time with him. Peggy and Steve spent most of their time together when they weren't busy with missions, and you and Bucky were always dragged along. Since both of your respective best friends were too wrapped up in each other to notice you, it ended with the two of you becoming extremely close.
So you told him. You told him about all the times you had broken a man's heart. Most of them were the same, but he still insisted. You would sneak out with your sisters to go to the dances, and when a soldier tried making a move on you, you'd turn him down. There were a few in there about boys you had grown up with trying to romance you, too. The entire time, Bucky was laughing and making jokes about how badly you must've hurt them, which in turn would throw you into a fit of giggles.
You weren't sure how long the two of you had been sitting there talking when he paused, looking at you for a long moment. He bit his lip, as though he was trying to make a big decision. Finally, he held his hand out to you. "Would you like to dance?"
Frowning, you looked out at the bar. "But it's so crowded. And no one else is dancing." You wanted to say yes. God, you really wanted to say yes. But you also knew that if you danced with him, the other men wouldn't ever stop making comments about you. They already did, but it would increase tenfold, and it would be nothing good.
You watched as Bucky slid off his stool, fixing his hat. "Then I think it's time we leave this bar and find a dance hall."
Looking at him in shock, you shook your head. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Well," he said, his blue eyes glimmering even in the dim lighting, "I want to dance with you. And if that means I have to find a dance hall, then that's what I'm gonna do." He held out his hand to you, waiting for you to take it. Seeming to sense your hesitation, he leaned his head down slightly, his voice no louder than a whisper, "Do you trust me?"
As much as the thought of opening up your heart to someone scared you, you did trust him. "Yes."
The grin that spread across his face was contagious as you placed your hand delicately in his, his fingers intertwining with yours as he pulled you out into the warm air. Summers in Austria were colder than Louisiana, but it was still summer. The feeling of freedom and adventures to be had lingered in the air, the night breeze gently twisting through your hair. The streetlights cast a soft glow on Bucky's face as you glanced up at him, quickly looking down when you caught him already looking at you.
"Why didn't you let any of those soldiers kiss you?" He asked. His voice was soft and sweet, his hand still holding yours. To the other people in the street, you looked like just another young couple wandering around, too drunk on each other to notice anyone else.
You shrugged a little as you kept your eyes forward. "All those men wanted was a quick, drunken romp. They would've forgotten about it the next night as they found some other girl to take home. Or, they want to find a woman that they can make into their little housewife to come home to after the way." The frustration you had gone through as a teenager was evident on your face as you frowned. "I never wanted that life. I didn't want to be one of those women that gives up her life, her career, because she meets a man. My sisters live that life, and I don't see the appeal. They're pushing out babies as fast as they can, only for the nannies to raise them while they get drunk at two in the afternoon."
"I see." Despite his short reply, you could tell how invested he was, how he was hanging on to every word you spoke. You briefly noted how his thumb was rubbing against the bank of your hand as you headed towards the sound of jazz music down the street. Light was pouring out from a building a few blocks down, and you could see young couples standing outside to get some fresh air before heading back in.
"My brothers are just like those soldiers. They chose the girls they married based on their pretty faces, not who they are as people." Your voice got quiet as you started to delve into a little bit more of what exactly the problem was. It was a little more personal. "Those men who kept trying to take me out only saw my face. They didn't care about the fact that I have opinions and dreams. I have goals in life." You let out a long sigh. "I want someone to fall in love because of who I am. Not because I'm pretty." You finally looked at Bucky again, only to find him staring at you with a little bit of sadness. "What?"
He stopped, the streetlight behind him casting a halo-like glow around him. His hands held onto yours, squeezing softly. "Y/N, you are the most vivacious woman I have ever met. You're witty and intelligent, with a tongue sharper than anyone I know." His eyes stayed locked on yours, your jaw dropping slightly. "You are extraordinary. Don't let anyone tell you differently."
You didn't know what to say. You had dreamed for so long of someone saying those words to you, and here it was. Finally swallowing the lump in your throat, you let out a bit of a laugh as you looked down in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I've just... No one's ever said those kinds of things to me before."
Bucky smiled, using two fingers to gently tilt your head up to face him. "How about that dance?"
The day that Bucky died started like any other. You woke up to the feeling of his lips pressed against your temple as he started to climb out of the bed. It was before dawn, but you knew that he had to get back before the camp wake up call. Otherwise, you'd never hear the end of it. You had tried to tell him that you didn't care about their jokes, but he did. He had insisted that he didn't want your reputation tarnished just because of him.
"You could stay," you murmured, blinking your eyes open to see him pulling on his shirt.
He turned to look at you with such a soft smile that it made your heart melt. His hair was still mussed from sleep, a red line on his face from the pillow. "You know why I can't," he said, but he crawled back into bed as you sat up to lean on your elbows. Pressing kisses all over your face, his fingers wound through your hair. "I love you so much."
"With how much you sneak out of here before sunrise, you'd think you were trying to hide me from your friends," you teased, closing your eyes as you relished in his affections. There was definitely no way he was hiding you. He took every chance he could to kiss you in front of his friends, his arms wrapping around your waist to hold you close. He had made his claim on you as soon as you let him, since the comments the other men would sometimes make about you rubbed him the wrong way. You had called it being jealous. Either way, the other soldiers had stopped making suggestive comments, even if it was only in front of him.
Bucky pulled you closer to him, his hands resting on your waist right under your night top. "Just for that comment, I'm going to give you the biggest, sloppiest kiss in front of the entire camp today," he said, and you started squealing with laughter as his fingers ran up and down your sides, tickling you.
"J-James! Stop it! James!" You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck, falling back onto the bed in a flurry of kisses. His hands finally stopped as your lips met his, relaxing into you. "I love you," you murmured, beginning to tug at the shirt he had just put on.
He must've realized what you were trying to do, because he pulled away with a shocked expression. "Were you going to seduce me to get me to stay in bed?"
You batted your eyelashes at him as you pursed your lower lip. It was a trick you had learned from your mama at a young age. "Well, it depends. Would it have worked?"
He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "You're going to be the death of me, Y/N." Bucky smirked down at you as you let out a soft giggle, biting your lip as you watched him. "I'll see you at breakfast, okay?"
If only the two of you had known that it was going to be the last night you ever spent together.
A few moments after he had slipped out the door, Peggy snuck back inside, just getting back from Steve's quarters that he shared with Bucky. It was kind of a good situation the four of you had going. After the rest of the camp had fallen asleep, she would sneak over the Steve's room, and once she got there, your boyfriend would head over to yours, before both of them switched back in the mornings. No one in the camp was any the wiser since it was all done under the cover of darkness. Everyone knew about you and Bucky, of course, but Peggy and Steve had asked you two to help them keep their relationship in the dark. The Star Spangled Man with a Plan had a lot more enemies than his best friend, and he was determined to not put her in danger, which you (as her best friend) appreciated.
You managed to catch another hour of sleep before the camp alarm sounded, and you dragged yourself out of bed to get ready for the day. The camp was bustling when you and Peggy finally made your way to breakfast.
As soon as Bucky saw you, he made good on his promise. His arms wrapped around you as he dipped you low, his mouth pressing against yours. You could hear the men whistling and hollering around you, but you were too focused on your boyfriend to care.
"Hi," you whispered breathlessly as he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.
His nose nudged yours as he said, "Hello." He smiled against your lips as he pulled you in for another quick kiss.
"I missed you this morning." You made sure to say it low enough so that no one else could hear you. By now, most of the men had turned back to their breakfast and were paying you no attention, but you still wanted to be careful.
"As soon as this war is over, we won't have to worry about sneaking around anymore," he promised, your fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck. "You're going to be the head scientist at some fancy institution, and we'll have a little apartment close to Steve and Peggy's. I'll get to wake up next to you every single morning for the rest of my life."
The two of you had talked about the future of course, but he had never straight up said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Your knees felt weak just at the thought, nodding happily. Bucky had meant what he promised all those months ago. He had never even implied that he wanted you to stay home and give up your ambitions just to have kids. Instead, he took every chance he could to help push you forward.
Your little moment was broken, though, when Steve almost ran up to the two of you. "Buck, we have to go now," he said, the most serious you had ever seen him. "We have coordinates on Zola's location."
Bucky turned to look at you and you nodded. "Come back home to me," you said softly.
He nodded, pulling you into one more kiss. "I will. I promise." With a last look at you, he ran off after his best friend.
You watched after him, your finger tips raising to touch your lips. You couldn't explain it, but there was a feeling in the pit of your stomach that told you something was about to happen. You didn't know if it was good or bad, but you knew that a storm was brewing around you.
You could only hope that you all made it out.
You spent the entire day unfocused. You were struggling to get anything done, and Peggy was beginning to worry about you. Every few minutes, you'd glance out the window, looking for the silhouette of your boyfriend coming over the hill. Your leg wouldn't stop tapping and you kept having to wipe your hands on your skirt to get the sweat off.
You barely slept that night, the emptiness of the space next to you getting to your head. You tossed and turned and tossed and turned again. You could hear Peggy doing the same thing in the bed across the room.
"Are you awake?"
You sat up a little in your bed, barely making out her form in the darkness. "Yeah."
There was a pause. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
You didn't reply, just scooting over to make a little bit more room. She grabbed her pillow and tiptoed across the cold floor, despite the fact that you two were the only ones there. The bed dipped as she crawled in, her warmth helping protect you against the cold of the Austrian winter.
"Peggy?"
"Yes?"
You hesitated, biting your lip. "Why do I feel like something awful has happened?" About an hour earlier, you had felt this sinking feeling in your stomach, a pang in your heart.
"Maybe you just worry too much."
Despite what your best friend said, you knew that she understood. She tried to put on a brave front, but anytime Steve went on a mission, she became an anxious mess.
"It'll all be alright tomorrow morning when they get home," she insisted, clearly trying to make you feel better.
So you just nodded, and let her squeeze your hand. You could feel her fall asleep beside you, but you laid awake for a long time before sleep finally overtook you.
The next day, you didn't hear the shouts until almost noon. It was overcast and cold, a soft blanket of slow from the night before on the ground. You had been going through more of Erskine's journals when you heard it. Anytime men came home from a mission, the other men in the camp would run out to greet them. Peeking out the window, you saw as they started to pour out of the bunks, heading for the hill.
Grinning, you ran out of your quarters, following after them. But as you got closer, you began to slow down. The group you were running to only had nine. There was one missing. The feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach grew as you balled your hands into fists.
Once you were close enough to see Steve's face, you knew.
The other soldiers grew quiet as you still asked, "Where's Bucky?" The blonde shook his head, his eyes red and puffy, and you felt yourself begin to shake. "No. No. He promised he'd come back to me. Where is he?!" You stood up on your tiptoes, as though trying to see if they were hiding him. As if this were some kind of sick joke. "BUCKY! BUCKY!" When that didn't work, you shouted, "JAMES!" It was becoming more and more clear to you that he wasn't coming back. You couldn't deny that he was gone. You collapsed to the ground in a puddle of tears, sobs shaking your body as your fingers dug into the ground. You were covered in mud, but you didn't care. The love of your life was gone. Despite all the snide comments the other men had made about you and Bucky's relationship before, they were dead quiet now. Their heads were lowered as they did their best not to stare at your grief.
You felt a pair of arms wrap around you, and you turned to cling to Peggy. You weren't sure how long you stayed there in the mud, but by the time she finally got you to stand up, all the other soldiers had gone, leaving just you, Peggy, and Steve. You felt numb as she led you back to your room, turning on the shower. Staring blankly at the wall, you let her undress you and shove you under the water, not bothering to try to wipe away the mud that had absolutely covered you.
That night was the first time you had cried yourself to sleep over James Barnes, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last.
Two years passed by in a blur, and you still felt empty. The war had been won, and you had gone back to America with Peggy in tow, but it didn't feel right. Bucky was supposed to be at your side. It didn't help that Steve had also died, leaving you and your best friend utterly broken.
Well, you were utterly broken still. Peggy had started to put the pieces back together and had even agreed to go out on a date with some man. He had been one of the soldiers that Steve had saved when he rescued Bucky. Part of you wondered if she was only going on the date because it was one of her last connections to Steve, but you didn't ask. You had no right to judge how she mourned.
You, however, threw yourself into your work. You had found yourself working with Howard Stark after the war. It was the kind of thing Bucky had always said you'd do.
But instead of coming home to the love of your life, you had no one. Peggy lived down the hall, of course, but it wasn't the same. It didn't fill the aching void in your heart.
So when Stark came in to tell you about his new experiment, you immediately volunteered your services, which is what led you to this.
You were climbing into a glass box, preparing yourself for whatever was about to happen. Either you were going to die, or you were going to be frozen. It was an experiment in cryogenics, to see if someone could effectively be frozen in time.
"Here, I want you to have this," Peggy said, wiping tears from her eyes as she took off her heart-shaped locket. It held a picture of the two of you on one side, and a picture of Steve and Bucky on the other. Her hands shook as she put it on you, moving your hair out of the way. "I want you to remember us when you're woken up in a hundred years," she teased, though you could tell she was actually upset.
You pulled her into a tight hug, tears falling down your cheeks. "Please live the best life you can," you said softly, your voice crackling a little as you held onto her. "I want to crack open a history book and see chapters filled with stories about you, okay?"
She nodded with a bit of a laugh, pulling away to look at you one last time. You had both given up on not crying, and it was a sight to see. "I love you, Y/N," she said, squeezing your hands.
"I love you, too." You looked up to see Howard Stark coming over, knowing it was time. "Maybe I'll see you on the other side," you said with a playful wink, before you leaned back.
"Ready?" Howard asked, his eyes searching your face for any hesitation. He was finding it hard not to cry himself, since he had spent the last two years becoming one of your closest friends. He could be an asshole at times, but he really did mean well, and he was fiercely loving and protective over those he cared about, which included you.
He was also giving you a chance to back out. This was the moment before, when you could change your mind. You could step out of the box and go home with Peggy. You could find a boy to settle down with, and see your family again. You hadn't even said goodbye to them in person, having just sent each of them individual letters explaining what you were doing. You had known that doing it in person would've hurt too much and they would've just eventually convinced you not to. But you had to do this. If only for the sake of science, you had to do it.
"Ready."
Cold.
That's the first thing you felt as you started to come to, though a deep soreness in your muscles is the second. You can also hear people talking in hushed voices a few feet away, but you don't quite have the strength to open your eyes.
"—found her in his lab. He had this locked room he never let anyone go into, but he would disappear there for hours at a time."
"How did you unfreeze her?"
"Easy. I just read his journals. He had everything written down with strict instructions on getting her out of there."
There was a long pause, before a different voice asked, "Do we even know who she is?"
"That's all in here." There was the sound of ruffling papers. "It's all medical and school records, but at least we know her name."
"Y/N M/N L/N. Born July 11th, 1921... Says here she went to St. Martin-in-the-Fields High School for Girls in London, but she was born in Louisiana."
"Boarding school," the first voice said. "Lots of southern families sent their daughters to get an education before coming home and being baby makers for the rest of their lives."
Well, that stung, even if it was true.
"Wait..." The second voice was speaking now. "St. Martin-in-the-Fields. Isn't that the same high school Peggy Carter went to?"
More ruffling of papers. "Holy shit. She was her roommate for all four years."
You took that moment to open your eyes, gasping as the light shone brightly on you. You felt like you had been hit by a brick. There was the sound of footsteps as the three people who had been talking rushed to your bedside. When you finally blinked your eyes open again, your gaze immediately went to the brunette man to your left. "Howard?! How long was I frozen?!" The others, a black man with nicely trimmed facial hair and a blonde woman with big green eyes were staring at you in surprise.
The brunette man that you were sure was your former partner shook his head, his brow furrowed. "I'm his son, Tony. You'd been asleep for almost eighty years."
You sat up in a rush, groaning as the pain hit you. The three people guided you back down to the bed. Once the pain had passed, you took a moment to look around. You were in what seemed like a hospital bed, but there were no machines around you. A window to your right gave you a view of a forest surrounding whatever building you were inside. Finally, you turned back to the people in front of you. "What year is it?"
They all paused, looking between each other like they were debating telling you or not. Finally, Tony said, "It's the year 2021."
Holy shit. Holy shit, it was actually a hundred years since you had been born, and that was... You didn't even know what to say as you looked at them in shock. Your mouth had gone drier than a desert. The man beside Tony seemed to sense what you needed, because he handed you a glass of water, which you sipped at greedily. When you were finally done, you held onto the glass like it was a lifeline. "Who are you two?"
"I'm Rhodey."
"Pepper."
You turned your head to look at the son of Howard Stark, tears rimming your eyes. "You look just like him, you know. You have the same eyes." That seemed to strike a chord within the man, who cleared his throat as he looked down. "Is Howard still alive?" The thought of possibly seeing him excited you, even if he was in a nursing home by now.
But Tony shook his head, sympathy in his eyes. "He died in 1991."
You knew when you had been put under that you most likely wouldn't come back to find anyone you had known alive, but it still hurt. The last time you had seen Howard, he had still been so full of life. "Did he live a happy life, at least?"
He was staring at you with such wonder, his mouth set in a thin line. "He built one of the biggest companies in the world. He was a devoted husband to my mother, Maria."
Your heart warmed at the thought as you smiled a little. "I always thought she would be good for him. I'm happy that he married her and settled down."
Slowly sitting up, you frowned down at the clothes you were in. Someone had changed you out of the clothes you had been wearing when you went under, and you were now clad in some... weird material. The name Stark was emblazoned across whatever long sleeved thing you were wearing. "What is this?"
Pepper smiled a little as she folded her hands in front of her. "They're called sweats. It's kind of the generic clothing your given when you come to the Avengers compound."
Avengers compound? The hell was that?
Seeming to sense your confusion, Pepper waved her hand to dismiss the thought. "I'll explain later. I can give you a tour of the compound, though, if you're up for walking?"
Well, that you didn't know about. You didn't know exactly what Howard had done when he had frozen you. Were your muscles frozen exactly in place, so that you'd be able to do everything you had been able to back then? Would you need to go through extensive amounts of physical therapy? Hell, were you even young anymore? You assumed you were, considering when you looked down at your hands they looked exactly the same as the day you had gone under.
The memory of that day flashing to your mind, you reached up to your neck, relaxing when you found the heart shaped locket that Peggy had given you.
Taking a chance, you slowly moved your legs to hang off the side of the bed, before standing up completely. The tile beneath you was cold to the touch and it sent a shiver through your spine. When you stood up, you found that Howard had managed to freeze you so that your muscles didn't deteriorate. There was a little stiffness, but that wasn't anything you couldn't fix.
"If everything becomes too much, let us know," Rhodey said, finally speaking up. "We don't want you getting overwhelmed by how much has changed."
You nodded, walking beside the three of them as they led you out of the room. You found yourself in a hospital wing, which you had expected. A few doctors were milling about, but not many. You weren't there for long as Tony led you through double doors into a massive hallway, glass lining both sides. On your right, you could see the outside. All you could see was forest for miles and miles and miles. On your left, you could watch a multitude of people at a state of the art gym. The machines were a little upgraded from what you remembered, but the idea was the same.
You were only half listening as Tony explained different things around the compound, Pepper and Rhodey sometimes adding in little anecdotes. You were taking everything in quietly, processing it as best you could. More than a small part of you had thought that Howard's experiment wouldn't work, and you'd end up dead. Sure, he was a genius, and he had successfully frozen rats for a few days to a few months, but eighty years? It had seemed absurd.
You should've known better than to estimate him.
"And this is the Avengers living quarters," Rhodey said as the four of you stepped onto an elevator. You were surprised at how smoothly it moved as it took you up three floors. They had kind of explained what the Avengers were, so you got the basic idea, but it was still hard to believe.
You stepped out of the elevator and into a large living room. What seemed to be a television hung up on the wall, and you were shocked at the sheer size of it. "You're just like your father," you mused as Tony went on and on about all the inventions you probably didn't know about.
He continued to give you the tour, explaining each and every room in detail. When he had finally finished his two hour long explanation of his lab, you were starting to feel tired. You had been one of the top scientists in the world when you had gone under, and now you were outdated. There'd be so much you'd have to learn if you ever wanted to catch up.
When you rounded a corner that led to a kitchen area, you spotted a group of about eight people sitting there. They paid you no mind, except for a familiar blonde. "Y/N?!" He shouted.
"STEVE?!"
The two of you ran to each other, and he laughed as he picked you up, hugging you as tightly in possible. All the others had gone silent in confusion as they watched you. The only people who knew what was going on was Tony, Rhodey, and Pepper. "They told me you died," Steve said, disbelief in his eyes.
"I was on the radio when you had died!" You had been in the room with Peggy, listening to the mission, when he had gone down. You had been the one to hold her as she broke down, a mirror image of you when Bucky had been lost.
A realization dawned on Steve's face, and he opened his mouth to say, "Y/N, you—"
"Y/N?"
You froze at the sound of that familiar voice, your heart beating harshly against your rib cage. There was no way. There was no way that he was alive. You had spent two years mourning him and had volunteered yourself for what you had assumed was a death sentence because of his death.
Steve moved to the side, and there he was. He was standing at the entrance to the kitchen, clearly having just walked in. There was a soft sheen of sweat on his brow, like he had just gotten back from the gym.
"Is it really you?" Your voice cracked as you felt the tears start to well up.
Without a second thought, the two of you were running for each other. You launched yourself into Bucky's arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He smelled exactly the same as he had back then, and you took in a deep breath. His fingers were winding through your hair, and he just kept whispering, "I can't believe you're here. I love you so much."
You pulled back as you pushed his hair away from his face. "Your hair is longer," you said with a bit of a laugh, and he wiped away the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. "I like it."
He grinned, pulling you into a long kiss. You could practically feel the stares of disbelief as you wrapped your arms around his neck, elongating the kiss. His lips still fit perfectly against yours and it sent a sob through you.
You felt a burst of fury as he put you down, and you reached out to slap him. He stared at you in shock as you angrily pointed at him. "You promised you would come home. You scared the shit out of me, you... You asshole!"
But he just smiled. His hands reached out for you again and he pressed a long kiss to your forehead. "I'm home now, my love. I'm home and nothing's ever going to take me away from you ever again."
"Better not," you sniffled, your hands grasping his shirt so tightly your knuckles went white. "Because if it happens again, I'll kill you myself."
Bucky paused, confusion in his bright blue eyes. "What happened, though? How are you here?"
"I could ask you the same question," you countered, before explaining. "I worked with Howard Stark after the war. He spent a lot of time on cryogenics, and when he asked for volunteers... I offered."
Now it was his turn to be mad at you. "Y/N, please tell me you didn't offer yourself as an experiment." When you smiled at him sheepishly in response, he scowled, pulling you into his arms again. "You could've died."
"But I didn't. And apparently neither did you," you said, raising an eyebrow questioningly at him. You also looked down at his arm, finding metal there instead of the flesh you remembered. You weren't upset by it, just confused. He was still your Bucky, whether or not he had a limb missing.
But before he could explain, someone asked, "Okay, but who are you?"
You looked at the other people who were standing around the kitchen, a few sitting on bar stools. "I'm Y/N L/N."
A man with curly brown hair stood up, his eyebrows furrowed. "Wait. THE Y/N L/N?"
You slowly nodded, a little confused that he recognized you.
When he saw your expression, he pulled out what Tony had explained early was a cell phone, and tapped on it quickly before passing it to you. What you saw was an entire article on a scientific website about your contributions. They spoke about how you blazed a trail for other women to join the field, and about how the war couldn't have been won without you. The thought sent tears to your eyes as you laughed, covering your mouth in shock.
"Y/N... You're a hero," he said, before holding out his hand for you to shake, wonder in his eyes. "I'm Bruce. Bruce Banner."
"It's lovely to meet you," you replied, a blush on your cheeks.
He shook his head, grasping your hand. "The pleasure is all mine. Really."
Bucky must've thought he had been holding your hand too long, because he let out a low, "Hands off." You burst into laughter as you saw the same expression he had always worn when one of the other soldiers would hit on you, his eyes going dark and his lips set in a deep frown.
The others were a little shocked at how jealous he got, but he ignored them in favor of wrapping his arms around you, kissing your hair. "Don't be mean," you chided, and he just hummed in response. His grip on you was the same, despite his metal arm, and you still felt safer in his arms than you had anywhere else in the world.
"But really, how do you guys know each other?"
Steve decided to be the one to explain that time, glancing back at the two of you with a bit of sadness. "Y/N was Peggy's best friend from boarding school, and we all met when she got her a job working with the man who gave me the super soldier serum."
You looked at him with a frown, biting your lip. "Peggy?..." Steve nodded in response, knowing what you were asking, and you took a deep breath to steady yourself. You had hoped that you might get to see her in her old age, but you had missed her.
"I know that Y/N still needs to be introduced to everyone, but that can wait," Bucky suddenly said. You gasped as he threw you over his shoulder. "I'm keeping her to myself for a while."
You groaned in embarrassment as he started to carry you out of the room, kicking and hitting at his back in protest. "Bucky! Put me down!" But you stopped after you got to another elevator, which took you up to what seemed to be a hallway lined with bedrooms. You were proven right when he opened a door, bringing you into a sunlit room and tossing you onto the bed.
You watched Bucky with a soft, adoring gaze as he kicked off his shoes, peeling off his shirt before getting onto the bed. He crawled on top of you, his long hair falling on either side of your face as your hands moved to rest on his chest. "You're buffer than the last time I saw you," you murmured in awe, your fingers running over the skin. Your right hand brushed against his shoulder, where his metal arm connected. "What happened to you, my love?"
His calloused hand cupped your face, his thumb running tenderly over your cheek. "HYDRA captured me after I fell from the train, and they nursed me back to health." But a frown was covering his features. "They gave me a serum similar to the one Steve got, and they brainwashed me." Your heart sunk in your chest as you wiped away his tears. "I was an assassin known as the Winter Soldier for seventy years, before I escaped." His watery eyes finally met yours. "Y/N... I assassinated Howard and Maria Stark."
Your heart broke as you saw how much it hurt him, and you shook your head. "It's not your fault. You didn't know what you were doing," you whispered, pulling him down into a soft kiss. Howard had been Bucky's friend, too, and you could only imagine how much it hurt him. You held Bucky to your chest, both of you starting to cry. "I'm here now. You've got me and I'm never leaving," you whispered.
Downstairs, the Avengers were watching the spot you had just been in shock.
"Wait, Bucky had a girlfriend?!" Sam asked, shaking his head.
Peter seemed to have a different concern. "Bucky SPEAKS?!"
Steve rolled his eyes, smirking at the others. "Bucky had a life before the Winter Soldier, you know." He glanced back at the direction you two had gone, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned against the counter slowly. "Y/N was the best thing that had ever happened to Bucky. I had never seen two people more in love. When he died... It was like her heart had been ripped out of her chest." The look in his eyes were hollow as his mind went back to the day you had sat in the mud, screaming at the sky for taking away the man you loved. "I had never heard a sound like that."
"So she just volunteered to be frozen by Tony's dad?" Natasha scoffed.
"She's one of the bravest people I've ever met," he said. "And the smartest. If she believed that she could do something to help progress, she was going to do it." He left out the fact that you had probably thought you wouldn't wake up. He had felt that kind of loneliness after waking up and finding that everyone he had known was either dead or within a few years of dying. It could really get to you, feeling like you'd been left behind.
The next morning, you woke to an empty bed and sun pouring in through the windows. You sat up harshly, looking around the room for Bucky. You almost thought you had dreamed the day before when he came out of what you assumed to be the restroom.
"I'm here, I just had to use the bathroom," he said as he crawled back into the bed, pulling you into his embrace.
You curled up against his chest, your legs tangling with his. "I thought I had dreamed yesterday."
Bucky chuckled as he kissed a press to your nose. "Go back to sleep."
"Will you be here when I wake up?"
He squeezed you a little tighter. The world had changed drastically. He had been through hell and back, and lived to tell the tale. There was a little more sadness lingering within the both of you, and you knew that you two were a little more broken than when you had first met. But he was still your Bucky. He was still the man you wanted to wake up to every morning. You still wanted to do life with him. You wanted to bicker over him leaving the toilet seat up, and steal the covers at night. You wanted to dance around the kitchen with him and take long strolls under the moon, drunk on each other like you had been all those years ago in a tiny town in Austria.
I love your stories, you really capture the beauty of language, truly
I'm so up for the dynamic, maybe it can be 💎 with 1?
Love you and have a great day!
Hello, my dear!
Gosh, you are so sweet, thank you so much for those lovely words!! They mean a lot to me 🥹🩷
I adore and appreciate you, and I feel bad for responding this late, but here is your little snippet for 40s!Bucky x and Nurse!Reader:
Your palm stays pressed to his ribs for whatever reason. You’re still checking the wrap is what you tell yourself. “It’s going to hurt for a while,” you explain. “You’ll need to keep this clean and dry. So if you can help it, try not to let it get wet.” You keep your voice stern, but can’t help slipping in that little hint of something softer. “No lifting anything heavier than your rifle or pack, and absolutely no bending or twisting. I also don’t want you involved in any fights you can avoid.”
Bucky lifts one brow. “Can’t promise the last one.”
“You can,” you reply adamantly, maybe even a little harsh, “and you will.”
His mouth curves further. And you notice that that glint in his eyes that shimmers in the low light is a watermark of pride, maybe even awe. He nods, because nods are simple and because you are the one person whose directions he follows without much argument as it seems.
I’m so happy you showed interest in this fic, and I hope I’ll be able to have it finished soon.
a girl lost in her own world with her nose stuck in a book and a boy lost in her world with his eyes stuck only on her.
WARNINGS!! angsty shiit!! but also so lovely and fluffy!! I can do a second part to properly end it!!! so just leave me a comment!!!
requested by the lovely: @vanteguccir
September 1937, Brooklyn.
Everyone was minding their business, as they pushed their way through the sidewalk in the morning rush. In the middle of them, a young woman was walking, her face shoved into her book not really paying any attention to her surroundings. She tripped many times as she walked and ignored many curses directed at her, the only thing that mattered at the moment was her book.
Using the muscle memory she turned right and continued walking until she felt someone grab her strongly. She gasped and shut her book, pulling it close to her chest as she saw someone on a bike pass her only by inches.
“For god’s sake, you and Stevie really can’t stay out of trouble can you?”
She immediately relaxed and turned to see her best friend who stared at her with a tired look. She smiled brightly “Now, where would be the fun in that?”
He sighed and touched the bridge of his nose “I swear I feel more like yours and Steve’s mother, rather than friend. I’m going to get grey hair before turning even 25”
“Some women fancy older looking gentlemen. And I recently read that older men make far better husbands than the younger fellas” she said as Bucky hooked their arms together, leading her through the sidewalk.
“Really? Well did you ask old Joe for his hand in marriage then? I’m sure he would be flattered by your proposal” her friend answered with a teasing grin.
She scoffed and hit him with her book, saying “Oh do shut up, James”
“Ouch... the name” he hissed as if he got burned.
Shrugging she said “You more than deserved it, James”
“Okay, okay sorry. Now, tell me what’s so interesting in that book, that it got you nearly hit by a bike?” he asked looking down at the old and wore down book in her hands.
Instantly her whole face brightened as she said “Pride and Prejudice! Oh it’s so lovely! It’s—“
“A romance novel” Bucky deadpanned looking at her in amusement “You’re telling me that a simple romance novel nearly got you a broken spine?”
“It’s not simple! It’s far from it, actually” she defended, grasping her book a tiny bit tighter.
Bucky smirked and said “Alright then, tell me what’s it about exactly. I’ll judge it”
She offered him a bright smile and started explaining the whole storyline. She was practically bouncing on her feet as she spoke, gesturing wildly as she tried her best to set the scene for him.
Bucky couldn’t help but listen to his best friend and stare at her like he couldn’t look away. Her eyes were shining with deep passion and her lips couldn’t stop smiling even as she spoke. Her cheeks got darker with how fast she was speaking, but that did not stop her. Bucky couldn’t help but notice the way his heart was hammering in his chest, as he watched her speak with such passion.
By the end of her explanation he couldn’t help but ask “So she hated him... but then she didn’t?”
“Didn’t you hear a word I said?! He left her a letter which explained everything and later helped her family... he did well by her”
“But he was a grumpy asshole! How could she fall in love with him?” he asked again, not understanding.
She rolled her eyes “He was shy and self conscious, Bucky. Not everyone can be as loud and open as you are” then she smirked adding “Although, you can also be grumpy”
Bucky looked offended as he asked “Me?! Hell no, that’s Stevie he’s the grumpy one”
“Oh yeah? And do tell me Mr. Sunshine. Who was all grumpy and glaring at Bill when we were out dancing yesterday?”
Immediately Bucky’s face darkened looking both grumpy and annoyed as he said “He didn’t act right with you, he was one comment away from asking you to leave with him”
“But he didn’t, because you wouldn’t stop staring at him as if he pissed in your beer” she said with a snort.
“He was disrespectful towards you! You’re my best friend of course I have to watch over you” Bucky explained, huffing his face still looking annoyed.
She shook her head with a smile and bumped her shoulder against his, saying “I know, now stop with the face or I’ll think that you’re trying to imitate Mr. Darcy”
Bucky let out a laugh, his face immediately lightening up as he said “No thank you. I think that ladies enjoy my charming qualities rather than the “grumpy” ones. Which for the record I don’t have, you punk”
She shrugged and said softly “Maybe. I for one don’t care about that. It’s more important to me, what a person has to offer with their heart. And how they act towards the people they hold close to their heart...”
Bucky didn’t answer right away as he stared at her soft and honest expression. She seemed like she was a bit lost in her own thoughts as she said it.
“So you’d be with a man that is a grumpy asshole?”
“If he would have a honest and pure heart, then yes” she said looking up at him with a smile.
He looked away and hummed to himself, before asking “So if you know the whole book cover to cover. Then why are you reading it again? Sounds boring”
“Well. For one, I don’t have money to buy a new book and second, I love this story so much. It’s just so... romantic. The love wins even if everything is against it. Their status, her rather stupid family, their strong personalities, his family and so much more... it’s just so beautiful to see them dancing around each other and then at the end be blessed with them getting together and being happy” she explained, again with that bright look on her eyes.
“You really love this book don’t you?” he said watching her, closely.
“I do, but I would like to have more books! And not just the romantic ones! There’s this new book, called “The Hobbit”! It just came out and I’m saving money to buy it” she said looking at him with a bright smile.
“What is it about?” Bucky asked, hoping to hear more of her passionate voice.
Right away her face got even brighter as she started speaking “So there’s this magical world...”
The pair spent hours walking around Brooklyn, with her talking about her favourite books and romance in them. And with Bucky absorbing every little information she let slip, loving every second of their conversation.
Soon they stopped as a grunt and a yell could be heard from within one of back alleys. Both their heads snapped to look at each other, as they said at the same time.
“Steve!”
Bucky ran in first, with her following him, in her small heels.
As suspected, right there behind a dumpster was laying their best friend as two other men were laughing and kicking him.
She could easily imagine rage on Bucky’s face as he sprinted at one of the men, yelling “Hey, asshole!”
Just as one of the men looked up, Bucky’s strong fist connected with his nose. The man fell down on the ground, screaming in pain with his definitely broken nose. The other man tried to attack Bucky but the brunette dodged and instead landed a punch on the man’s stomach.
She let him handle the men, while kneeling next to Steve.
“Steve? Oh, Stevie can you hear me?”
He groaned and started getting up a bit, with her gentle help.
As Bucky was still trying to beat down the other man, the first one got up with his bloody nose and yelled “You fucking—!”
Before he could continue, she stood up and with a glare swung the hard covered book at his face, hitting his injured nose. He fell down again and cried in pain.
She continued on glaring at him as she said “You try to stand up again and I’ll do worse, you prick”
Suddenly the other man was running at his friend, grabbing him from the ground he half carried him out of the alley.
Bucky stepped towards them, his cheek turning purple as his lip was bleeding. But still he looked at her with soft and concerned eyes “You okay, doll?”
The nickname made her blush as it was the first time that he used it on her. She got a fluttering feeling in her chest that, she read in so many books about.
Was this what she think it is?
Still she answered “Fine, but Stevie—“
“I’m fine... had the situation under control...” Steve mumbled as he was leaning against the dumpster, breathing heavily.
“Like hell you did...” Bucky mumbled tiredly as he moved to check Steve over, with her joining.
Steve’s face was all shades of blue and purple, but there was no serious swelling. His clothes were all dirty and had some rips in them, but nothing that she couldn’t later fix.
“How are your ribs, Stevie?” she asked in worry, moving to swing his arm over her shoulder as Bucky did the same.
“Fine... nothing like how my pride is doing...” he mumbled.
She and Bucky laughed and shook their heads, giving each other a amused look.
“Let’s get you home pal, gotta fix up that pride of yours” Bucky said with a fond grin.
“And your clothes, seriously Stevie I just sewn up these pants yesterday!” she complained.
“Sorry...” he said shamefully.
She just shook her head “I’m just glad that you’re okay”
Bucky nodded “Me too, although you gotta stop this, Steve”
“He’s right Stevie... Bucky is already getting grey hair, he’s not getting any younger” she teased, making Steve laugh and Bucky glare.
“Screw both of you, I’m only 20!” Bucky said giving them a grumpy look.
She and Steve gave each other a look and laughed at their best friend, who was giving them the stare of annoyance.
“Well Buck... you are the oldest here” Steve said, grinning mischievously.
Bucky huffed saying “I ain’t talking to you punks...”
She gasped “Look Stevie! He’s pouting!”
Steve started laughing with her as Bucky glared harder at them, saying “You’re both little shits”
“Pff please, you adore us” she said looking at him with a bright smile.
Slowly Bucky’a glare left his face as he rolled his eyes and grinned “Well... you’re both punks but you’re my punks”
The three friends laughed and made their way to the guys’ apartment. Once there she took care of both Steve’s and Bucky’s injuries.
“You fellas should eat something” she said as she packed her first aid kit.
“I’ll get started on dinner...” Bucky said, moving from the couch but she stopped him.
“You and Steve will rest up. I know that you’re acting all strong and unbothered but you’re hurt Bucky” she said touching his purple cheek gently, wishing that it would just go away “And you have work tomorrow, remember? Fixing up that boat in the docks, you gotta be well rested for that”
He sighed but nodded, watching as Steve was passed out on the armchair. Bucky was moving to cover him with a blanket, but she was faster.
“I said rest up, James” she mumbled and took another blanket to cover him too, as he laid down with a sigh. She covered him and grinned “There you go you stubborn idiot”
Bucky snorted “I am not stubborn”
“Yeah you are, but that’s okay. Stubborn people have better futures ahead of them”
“Why’s that?”
She smiled and fixed his hair a bit “Because they don’t give up and do whatever they can do achieve their goals. Now shut up and go to sleep”
Bucky let out a sudden laugh at her words, making her grin and pat his left arm, before moving towards kitchen to make dinner.
He watched her for a couple of minutes before the tiredness won him over and he fell asleep.
December 1937, Brooklyn.
It was Christmas Eve and she was late.
She had her arms wrapped around the presents she bought as she ran down the street, towards the apartment, she treated like her home.
As she neared the apartment, she made her way into the back alleyway, where the fire escape was. Looking around she noticed that no one was watching, so she claimed on a dumpster and crawled onto the metal stairs.
Slowly she made her way up, trying to be as quiet as it was possible. When she made it to the right window, she knocked hoping that no one would notice her.
The window soon opened, revealing a concerned Bucky. He grabbed her hand gently, saying “Jesus, get inside now!”
She gladly did as he told and sighed at the warmth of the apartment “Oh it’s so nice and warm in here”
Bucky closed the window and looked at her with a frown “I told you to come in normally, doll”
“I know, but we both know that people already talk shit about us. A single dame visiting two fellas everyday and leaving at night... doesn’t look good Buck and you know it” she said for the hundredth time.
But Bucky only glared at her, as he said “I don’t give two shits about what they’ve got to say. What I do in fact care about is your safety, the fire escape isn’t the safest way in here, doll”
She sighed “Let’s leave this conversation, Bucky. It’s Christmas and I came here to celebrate with my two best friends okay? Let’s just have fun tonight”
Before he could argue, Steve peaked inside the room and smiled “Hey! You wanna help me out in the kitchen or will you just stand there like two useless jerks?”
She grinned and walked over to the blonde man, wrapping her arm around him “Of course, we’ll help” then she turned to look at Bucky and smiled at him “Come on, grumpy. We’ve got a dinner to prepare”
“Hey! I’m not grumpy!” Bucky called out as he followed his friends.
Both Steve and her gave him a look, before bursting out laughing.
“Yeah, yeah, come on then Mr. Sunshine” she said with a bright grin, which made him shake his head with a smile.
By eight pm the food was eaten and it was time for the presents. She just finished washing the dishes as the boys were drying and putting the fancy plates away.
“Okay! Let’s open the presents!” she said with a wide grin, pulling her boys over to the couch.
“I’ll go first” Steve said and took two small gifts, handing them to Bucky and her.
She opened her gift to see a miniature painting of the Brooklyn Bridge in winter.
“Oh Steve... it’s perfect! Thank you so much!!” with that she jumped and hugged the blonde tightly.
“No problem, I wanted to buy you something nice but—“
“But this painting is perfect, Stevie! I’ll keep it forever, really. Thank you” she said with a bright and honest smile.
Steve blushed and nodded “Okay... I’m happy that you like it”
“Always, Stevie” she said and then turned to see what Bucky got.
He was just finishing unpacking as he grinned, seeing also a miniature painting but of the park in the summer. Bucky grinned and stood up to embrace Steve.
“It’s just like she said. It’s perfect, thank you pal”
Steve nodded and beamed at both of his best friends, who were still staring at his paintings in pure admiration.
“Okay, my turn!” she said as she put down the painting and moved to grab her bags, just to give them to the boys.
Bucky opened his first, grinning as he saw a beautiful grey-blue tie, that was matching his stormy eyes.
“Woah... it’s beautiful! How did you find this kind of colour?” he asked looking up at her.
She grinned “I was actually, cropping some fancy lady’s ball gown that she bought in France. The colour of the material reminded me of your— I mean you so I used it to make you a tie”
Bucky grinned and jumped to hug her tightly “Thank you, doll. It’s perfect, I love it”
Her whole body burned at his closeness and she hugged him back saying “I love y— em I love that you like it so much”
He pulled away and smiled brightly “Of course I like it! My best girl made it!”
She went red and chuckled, nodding “I’m glad then, hah”
“Em... what’s this?” Steve called out as he watched his gift.
Immediately she looked over to see him holding his present in confusion, she giggled and explained “Well, Rogers. Say goodbye to the news papers in your shoes, because these are special fillings for your boots that I made” both men looked up at her in shock, making her grin brighter “Go on, try them on!”
Steve nodded and moved to try them on, laughing when his shoes were finally fitting him properly. He hugged her closely and thanked her.
Then came Bucky’s presents. Steve got a new sketchbook and two new pencils, while she opened her gift and gasped.
“You didn’t... James tell me that you didn’t!”
Bucky grinned at her and said proudly “I sure as hell did”
Right there in her hands was a beautiful new book, titled “The Hobbit”.
She teared up a bit and jumped into Bucky’s arms saying “Thank you, you have no idea how happy I am”
Bucky hugged her back with a laugh “I could tell by the way you were talking about it, that you really wanted it”
She pulled away and nodded, before looking at both him and Steve with bright eyes.
“How about I read it to you? Would you like to listen?”
The boys eyed each other and nodded as Bucky said “Sure thing, doll”
“Let me unpack my sketchbook, maybe I’ll get inspired to draw something from it” Steve said also in excitement.
Hours passed as she read to them. Steve was curled in the armchair doodling some scenes from the book in his sketchbook, Bucky was laying on the couch with his head on her lap as she read to them.
Soon the morning came and as she finally looked up from the book she smiled, realising that Steve was snoring in the armchair and Bucky was snoring a bit louder on her lap, his face snuggled in her stomach.
She smiled closed the book, putting it away and curling a bit in a more comfortable position as she too fell asleep.
October 1943, Italy.
“Move! Move! Move!” yelled one of the soldiers, as a group of nurses arrived into the camp “No time for day dreaming! These men have been through hell and you’re here to make them better!”
She was already elbow deep in blood, from a man who got shot. She honestly had no idea how he survived the way back to the camp.
“Ouch! You bitch!” he snarled, as she was cleaning his wound.
Pressing the gauze harder than she had to, she said “Shut up, I’m trying to save your leg you imbecile”
“Watch how your—“ the man said, only to cut off as he stared behind her shoulder “Oh, Captain I—“
“I believe that you should be one watching your mouth, soldier” said a deep and slightly familiar voice, from behind her.
Still she dressed the soldier’s wound, while saying to the man behind her in irritation “Okay Captain, I have work to do and I don’t need you to protect my pride”
“I was only repaying for all the times you saved mine”
Immediately she placed his words and familiar voice, turning she looked up, gasping “Stevie?!”
He turned red and nodded “Yeah, that would be me”
She didn’t care that the whole medical tent was watching them, as she hugged her best friend tightly. He gave everyone a look before hugging her back, saying “Come on, there’s a grumpy Sergeant who would also like to see you”
Pulling away and still not processing just what happened to her small/now big friend, she just asked “Bucky?”
With a grin Steve nodded hooked their arms together “Yep, Bucky”
On their way to Steve’s and Bucky’s tent, he explained everything about the serum and what happened in Azzano.
“That’s why I’m here, they transported us here to help out with the injured. But how’s Bucky? Did someone from the medical team see him? And you? Did someone check you out?”
“I... emm...”
“For the love of God! I’m going to check on Bucky and you in the tent” she said, shaking her head at her friends reckless actions.
Soon they reached the tent and Steve grinned, as he lead her inside. Immediately her eyes found a dirty man, sitting on the cot.
“Bucky!” she said in excitement and ran to hug him.
He jumped at her loud call but as she fell into his arms, he relaxed and smiled, hugging her closely.
“Doll...” he whispered, burying his face in her hair, trying to remember her familiar scent.
She and her perfumes would always smell like home to him.
No matter where or when he was.
“Bucky... oh you stubborn man...” she said pulling away to touch his face, remembering every line and bump.
He grinned “You once told me that being stubborn is a good trait”
She laughed softly and kissed his forehead “I did... and I still think so. But now please let me check your wounds and just look you over”
Although he was scared of someone having access to his body again, without his permission. But as he looked into her beautiful eyes and felt her smell in the air, a bit more than he humanly should, he nodded.
“Okay...”
She smiled and then grabbed a nearby medical kit , pointing at Steve “You’re next, you idiot! Don’t think that just because you got big, you can avoid getting treated by me”
Steve laughed “Wouldn’t dream of it”
Bucky looked at them and couldn’t stop his grin as he said to her “You better kick his ass for getting experimented on”
She nodded “Oh, I sure as hell will. Don’t you worry, Buck”
They both laughed as Steve groaned and just like that their family was together once again.
In the middle of the night she sneaked out of her tent, hiding from patrolling soldiers and other men who were still outside.
She was shivering from cold by the time she jumped inside the tent, she was looking for.
“What the—!” Bucky screamed as she jumped and covered his mouth with her hand.
“Shh!! They can’t find me, here!” she whisper yelled, knowing that she’d be taken away for sneaking into another man’s tent.
He nodded, causing her to let go of his face. Frowning at her as he also whisper yelled “I know! What are you doing here?!”
She smiled shyly, whispering softly “I didn’t want you to be alone. Not after what you’ve been through...”
“Doll—“
“Shut up, James. Shut up and let someone take care of you, for once” she said sternly, seeing no objections she took his hands and led him to his cot. They sat down and she pulled out her favourite book “Now, I know that you don’t like romance novels, but in the dark it was hard to find another book and—“
Bucky squeezed their joined hand, causing her to look at him with such wide and pretty eyes. He smiled at her, whispering “Anything coming out of your pretty lips is very likeable, doll. Especially when I can hear in your voice, just how much you love it...”
She blushed and did something that her heart was telling her to do, for a long time. Slowly she leaned towards him and kissed him.
Bucky gasped a bit, but soon his hands wrapped themselves around her waist as he kissed her back.
They kissed until their lungs burned and when they pulled away, they could only smile at each other sweetly.
She traced her tingling lips with her fingertips, whispering “It fell nothing like the books said...”
Bucky hummed and took ahold of her hand, kissing her open palm, while murmuring “Was it better?”
“Better doesn’t give it justice... it was like... like... touching the most precious thing in the world. Like touching the brightest of stars and knowing that it’s yours, just like you’re it’s...”
He pulled away from her hand and stared at her with glossy eyes “Oh doll... how did I ever get to have you in my life? I love you so much”
She let out a happy sob and she crushed him into a hug “I love you too, my star...”
The rest of their night was spent in slight darkness and each other arms, as her gentle voice read to him.
Neither of them have ever slept so peacefully in their whole lives.
Funny how they have found their little heaven in the middle of the raging war.
But not for long.
Y/N Y/L/N has been presumed dead not long before James Buchanan Barnes. She was killed in Poland while helping in a concentration camp, her body long lost in the foreign soil much like the body of her beloved, lost in the cold alps.
The last one to fall was Captain Steven Grant Rogers. His own death was a sacrifice for the last place he called home after loosing his family. He chose to save New York, Brooklyn and that little apartment with the fire escape, where she was climbing every evening. Where Bucky would let her in and scold her. Where Steve would watch with a grin and see the love bloom. Where she read her romance novels and Bucky listened.
Where they did not comeback, as only memories remained.
Thanks for reading!!! Hope that you liked it! You can send me a request, but please read this post before you do!!
AN: So I’m on Thanksgiving break and decided to knock out another request that’s been hanging out in my inbox. Sorry anon for the long wait and my inbox possibly eating your first request :’( I hope this is to your liking! I also want to send a shout out to everyone who read/liked/commented on Bite Me! I was seriously overwhelmed with how much everyone liked it! My phone has been blowing up since I posted it, so thank you guys so much! I’ll try my best to keep posting quality content (:
Prompt: Can you do an imagine using the bit at the end of the "National anthem" video by Lana Del Rey. (It's a letter Jackie Kennedy wrote after they assassinated JFK). Basically like Bucky is going through the museum to remember somethings and he sees this section about a women and it ends up being his fiancé from the 40s. There's a video of her talking about Bucky. (The monologue at the end of national anthem is her talking.)
Pairing: Bucky x 40s!Reader
Warnings: Sad, confused Bucky
Based off the ending of this song by Lana Del Rey.
Gif not mine
The sun was beginning to rapidly set in the nation’s capital; however, the Smithsonian was still teeming with eager tourists. Men, women, and children alike bustled through the museum looking and gaping at the spectacular exhibits and artifacts. They didn’t even bat an eye at the mysterious man in the baseball cap making his way through the crowd, hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. Alert eyes swiftly assessed the surrounding area as he made his way to the exhibit that had opened only a few weeks prior. He hoped it would help spark some memories from his life before Hydra. Before his memories were stolen from him and he was turned into a heartless killing machine.
The man stopped at the enormous display featuring the Howling Commandos. He peered up at the picture stretching across the top of the mannequins that donned the soldier’s old uniforms. He recognized the man in the middle, but only because he was the one he pulled out of the river after the helicarrier crash. His eyes shifted to the man on the blonde’s left. Deep down he knew that the man that wore the navy blue coat and light brown pants was him, but he also knew that that man no longer existed. Vague images of marching in that uniform beside the blonde soldier flickered in his mind, but that was decades ago. Figuring that he would get nothing else from this exhibit he turned away to find something else that could bring him some clarity on who he was.
A thinning in the crowd revealed a huge wall of text with a blown up picture of a man. As he approached the display he realized the picture must be him, or the man he used to be. Bucky Barnes: 1917-1944. Spotty images of a train speeding through the snow raced through his mind, glimpses of the blonde man reaching for him, the endless white clouding his vision as the wind whipped around him, the cold snow cradling his battered body. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head to clear the images from his head. They were only fragments, and he didn’t completely understand them, but he knew they were painful. He glanced over the text next to his picture, drinking in as much information as he could. Some pieces were sliding into place, but for the most part nothing made sense. It was as if he was reading about someone else’s life, and maybe he was.
“I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.” Bucky whipped his head around as he heard the feminine voice. He knew that voice. He didn’t know how he knew that voice, he just knew with every fiber of his being that he yearned and mourned for it.
“And I still love him. I love him.” He frantically searched for the owner of the sweet voice, but she was nowhere to be found. She was so close; he could hear it so clearly. Finally, he spotted an exhibit not too far from his own. A black and white video was playing, and from the speakers he could hear her voice.
“And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me.” The ex-assassin slowly approached the screen, swallowing hard. It was her. She was sitting in a chair with a crumpled handkerchief with her chin propped on her hand, staring off into the distance as she quietly spoke her words with pure love and sorrow.
“We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult -- we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had at the beginning.” Suddenly, he was launched back to that small apartment in Brooklyn again. The woman in the video now stood in front of him, and he was telling her the fateful words that no loved one wanted to hear, “I ship out tomorrow.” He was dressed to the nines in his formal military wear. The woman’s face was tear streaked and she was shaking.
“Please, James, you can’t go! You can’t leave me here! What about the wedding? You promised me forever, and now you’re being shipped off to die.” she sobbed. Bucky instantly wrapped her up in his arms and kissed the top of her curls.
“I will come back home to you, doll. I promise on my ma’s grave, Y/N.” he said wiping her cheeks free of tears.
“Y/N.” He gasped as the name brought him back to the present. He opened his eyes to see her staring lovingly at the camera, at him.
“He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman's head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.” This time Bucky was brought back to a smoky dance hall. As soon as he walked through the door with Y/N on his arm everyone in the room perked up. He was greeted by many congratulating him on making it into the 107th. Men offered to buy him rounds of drinks or offered smokes. Women tried to ask him for the next dance, but he ignored every one of them. The soldier’s eyes never left Y/N, for she was the only thing that truly mattered. He wanted the night to be special so he could fight for the greater good knowing he loved her as best as he could before he left her.
However, by the end of the night his heart was heavy. After the notes of the last song of the night had faded, he was still swaying back and forth with her in the middle of the empty dance floor. He pulled away when he heard sniffling and looked down at his fiancé with sorrow. She was devastatingly beautiful, and by God he loved this woman. Bucky kissed her forehead and wiped her cheeks yet again.
“Save another dance for me when I come back, doll?” he asked with a dazzling smile.
“I will always save a dance for you, James Buchanan Barnes.” She sniffled but gave a small smile anyways.
“And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.” He was pulled back yet again by Y/N in the video. The audio track had looped back to when he first heard her voice.
“And I still love him. I love him.” Bucky took a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut. God, he loved her, he still loved her. She was the only thing that made sense in his life back then, and the only thing that was bringing back full on memories for him now. He slowly opened his eyes to scan the text beside her video. He had to bite his flesh hand to keep the sobs from wracking his body. Bucky knew it was a long shot, but it still didn’t keep the searing pain from ripping through his chest. Y/N Y/L/N: 1918-1947.
“Guess we’ll have to save that dance for another time, doll.” He smiled tearfully at the woman with a far-away look in her eyes on the screen. The video had started over again, but Bucky couldn’t seem to tear himself away. The museum was rapidly clearing out, and they were shutting everything down, but the soldier stayed. Just one more minute. He thought as he watched her mouth move with the words. The video wasn’t in color, but Bucky knew she was wearing her favorite shade of red lipstick.
Finally, after seeing the last group of people leave, he knew he would have to tear himself away. It was dangerous to be caught out by himself, even if he was well disguised. With a tip of his cap to the screen he was off before the security guard could make his way over and tell him to leave. Like a ghost, he disappeared out into the cold night, eyes low and hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. He would be back. He couldn’t leave his best gal behind, especially if that was all that was left of her. Bucky gave a small smile and breathed in the chilly air as he looked up at the dark sky. They would be together again.
“…and I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. And I still love him. I love him.”
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