I love myself today, simply because I dress nice, enjoy the sunshine, and smile at people.
Those last few weeks when I was down were like the extreme, and the current time when I am up is another. That is to say I still haven’t balanced my emotion well enough to take in great constant tranquility.
It’s still full of drama. The ‘ups’ are so great before the ‘downs’ make everything fall. What a sentimental disorder. I am grateful I always come out the depression with such positive attitude and brighter smiles. However, I should really be aware of my chronic depression time when it comes, and learn to control it better as well as trying to calm myself down.
I learn that I should live like water: just flow, no attempt to resist, stick around yet not staying still, leave when it’s meant to be let go.
There is too much fire in me as a young soul craving to be burnt, to be shined without consequences. But Life is meant to just be chilled, to be gently lived, to gracefully pass by. I’m still too serious and holding strong opinions. Though it’s good to be so maybe in important matters or career-wise, for the rest of the things, being too serious will just wear one down continuously. Especially in love or relationship, after all these things are pretty much about ‘chances’ and ‘timing’, no principle to stick to, unless it’s meant to harm you or others (or the world lol) physically and mentally.
So yeah, in the end, over-thinking has still played a central role in all of my mental sufferings.
I need to live like water, detachment and tranquility.
Nothing belongs to anything, no one belongs to anyone.
I have spent years thinking of actions, so now no need to think, just ACT, knowing that my thoughts have been developed well to guide my way, and my instincts are fully grown to take me to my destiny (if there is one lol).
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Dear, now that you have gone through all. Just remember one thing always:
Detachment and Tranquility.