Roland's Story: Match Maker Mix-Up
Arriving at a New School for the first time
Scene: A station wagon pulls up to the front of a high school. Roland looks tepidly out the passenger side window. His mom played by Catherine O'Hara puts the car in park.
Mom: Roland, it's going to be ok. This school looks really nice and its not that far from home.
Roland: I know mom. I'm nervous, but also excited. Its a new beginning. No one knows who I am and I can be whoever I want here. I just hope you know what doesn't happen.
Mom: Be yourself and have fun. Good luck sweety!
Mom goes in for a little peck on his cheek. Roland smiles meekly. He knows his mom means well, but frankly could have done without the kiss.
Roland: Okay mom I'll see you when you get home from work.
Mom: Don't forget to take out the hamburger meat from the freeze. Were having meat loaf tonight.
Roland: Isn't Izzy trying to be a vegatarian now?
Mom: Is she? Well your little sister goes through so many phases she'll probably be trying to be a cave-man by the time she gets back from school. (She looks at the clock) Gotta go, bye!
Roland looks at the face of the school as the music picks up speed, students mingle or walk in groups as they enter the building. But Roland is all alone, but walks with determination into the school and heads to the principal's office.
Montage - A teddy bear back pack with X's over the eyes. A Disney styled Alice in Wonderland dress. Blood red finger nail polish. Black and white knee stockings. Dark Blue hair, with blond streaks in pigtails. The double doors to the cafeteria opens.
Cut to Roland and Midge (played by Dakota Blue Richards) sitting together at a table eating lunch.
Midge: (looking over to the doors) Oh wow, she must be reading Alice in Wonderland.
Roland: (take the ketchup dipped french fry into his mouth. Notices Midge's gaze and looks over to the door too) Who is that?
Midge: That's Lola. She is probably the weirdest girl in school. Also the meanest. Watch this.
Lola (played by Jamie Pressly) walks past a table that is filled with the Varsity Cross-Country team. They all wear their Letterman jackets. One of the jocks takes a fry with ketcup on it and throws it just behind her.
Madison: Looks like someone needs a new extra thin tampon.
Lola stops suddenly and turns right around. We see her face for the first time. Pale white skin, a choker neckless with a broken heart bleeding. Blood red lips and deep blue eye shadow with black eye liner. She looks at the table and down at the french fry. She looks annoyed.
Lola: Madison, you shouldn't throw your dick around like that. Better go to the nurse and get that sown back on.
She turns around and continues to walk to an empty table and takes out her Cheshire Cat Lunch box and begins to set up her lunch.
Midge: (To Roland) She has the mind of an ice queen. And the heart to prove it.
Roland has another fry held up to his mouth and the looks at it. Drops it in disgust.
When Love Comes to Town by US and B.B. King
Kids are dressed in loud and 80's styled outfits to their 80's Dance party. A DJ wearing low key classic outfit, black t-shirt and jeans. Sits behind the "Turn Tables" which is actually just a sound system hooked to his MP3 player. A friend who is sitting next to him in a pork pie hat, thin black neck tie loosened, A huge over sized white shirt checkered black and white bike pants, and a day-glow bracelet and white platform shoes. She leans over to talk to the DJ.
Marty: This doesn't sound very 80's.
DJ the DJ: Well no one here seems to know what is 80's is here.
Several students walk by: one is dressed as a T-Bird from Grease, another is in a zoot suit, another is in flannel and knee hole jeans, etc.
DJ the DJ: besides all this stuff came out of my parent's CD collection. So they have to be 80's right?
Roland and Lola walk into the Gym. Roland is wearing a punk outfit: black leather jacket, studded fingerless gloves, Hair in a mohawk, a home made t-shit that says "I Ain't Gonna Work on Maggie's Farm". Lola is wearing a gothy princess Ariel dress. When she walks in she looks around disgusted by everything.
Lola: Does anyone really know what is 80's fashion? Here hold my clam.
Roland looks a bit shocked and looks over to Lola to see her clam shaped purse.
Roland holds the purse as Lola disappears into the dancing crowd. Roland goes over to the punch bowl filled with Ecto cooler Hi-C. As he pours himself a drink, Midge shows up dressed as Duckie from Pretty in Pink.
Roland: (Smiles knowingly at Midge) Nice Duckie outfit midge.
Midge: Thanks Roland! Wow what a git up! You make that t-shirt?
Roland: Yeah I was feeling punk tonight so I figured why the hell not?
Midge: (nervous) Cool. Is Lola here with you?
Roland: Yep, she's around here somewhere.
Cut to Lola at the "DJ booth," yelling at DJ the DJ.
Lola: What the hell are you playing?
Lola: This isn't 80's music, you might as well be playing The Hussle.
DJ the DJ: Isn't that an M.I.A. song?
Midge: Roland I've got to tell you something.
Midge: (Softly) I really like you.
The U2 song is suddenly stops.
Midge: (shouting) I REALLY LIKE YOU
Everyone stops and turns around looking over at Roland and Midge. Lola is holding the MP3 player but is frozen looking over at Roland and Midge. Lola runs away.
Roland: Oh, um. Could you wait right here for a second.
Music starts up again, it is the Macaraina.
DJ the DJ: This is 80's right?
There is a school car wash fund raiser. Roland is carrying buckets of water from the school spigot to the car washing sight. Is there hanging out near the sigot. Midge is dressed in a white dress shirt with a black vest, black jeans, and red Converses and vintage red round sunglasses. Lola pulls up in her vintage Model T car and is dressed in a goth version of Mulan.
Midge: I mean Roland, Lola is a doesn't really like you, like I do.
Roland: (Rolls his eyes) Midge. I'm kind of busy with the school car wash I can't really...Oh no.
Midge: Great the Ice Queen is here.
Midge: I would but its so cold around her I can't give a shit is I was on a diuretic.
Lola hops out of the car. Roland carrying a heavy full bucket walks over to Lola.
Roland: Lola, be nice to Midge. You two are just a little confused.
Lola: The only thing I'm confused about Roland is which side of her hobbit head will I shave off after I knock her unconscious.
Lola then takes off after Midge. Roland rolls his eyes.
Midge sees Lola rushing her and suddenly starts running away through the practice field. Lola chases her and eventually catches up with Midge and tackles her into the mud.
Coach Neil: Wow she's fast.
Coach Faterbend: And she did it in heels.
As the two wrestle, they get muddier and muddier, their clothes tare and stick to their bodies. Eventually Midge's shirt comes off and you see that Midge is a she and tapes down her breasts.
Lola: (to herself) I knew it.
Lola stands up and points down to Midge who is trying to cover herself.
Lola: See! Midge is a girl. I knew she was.
A crowd of students from the car wash and various sports come to the muddy girls breathing so hard. Midge has herself turned away from the crowd.
Roland: Yeah of course I did.
Roland: I'm gay, I can see it as clear as day.
Lola: Wait you're gay? But you took me to the dance!
Roland: As a friend. Wait you thought I was like in love with you?
Roland: Lola I took you to the dance because I wanted you and Midge to meet.
Roland: Of course you two are such dykes. I mean I can't believe you two haddn't gone out already.
Lola: Wait you think I'm gay AND I would go out with Midge?
Roland: Yeah why not. You two are great and have a lot in common. But when Midge told me she liked me at the dance I knew that a disaster was on the way. I was hoping I could talk to Midge during the car wash and get her to think about what she really wanted. You two are crazy dykes and deserve each other. I can't believe this happened again. I've got to stop trying to get lesbians together.
Roland is sitting on the stoop of his front porch. His little sister Izzy is dressed as an outdoor adventure, with a safari pith. She is hunting down invisible dinosaurs.
Up walk, hand in hand, regularly dressed Lola and Midge.
Roland: (Sullen) Hey guys.
Lola and Midge greet Roland.
Lola: We can't stay long cause we're going to see a movie soon, but we wanted to stop by here and say thank you.
Midge: Yeah I think you really helped us out with our issues and made us feel more comfortable about being ourselves.
Midge: So I guess we'll see you at school?
Roland: Nope. I'm not going to school here anymore. I'm going to Forrester Academy. An all boy school. Where there are no lesbians. But I'm glad you guys are happy. That was all I ever wanted. So you guys take care, I'll keep in touch. And you two do the same, ok?
Lola: (hugs Roland) Thank you Roland.
Midge: (also hugs Roland) Thanks.
Roland: Ok you two go make out at the movies already.
