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Coffee Break w/Commentary

Writer’s Commentary Version

Pairing: Jacob x Deputy!Reader

Word Count: 724 (+ 675 of Commentary)

Warnings: None

Summary: It’s early, too early even for the soldier gone wild, Jacob. He has an idea that might just catch the Deputy off guard.

Tagging: @xmisswolfx @sleepylunarwolf @krenee1drful @edensgay (I wanted to share these with you too, Lexa. Hope you don’t mind!)

A/N: Couldn’t resist posting more! This one uses the prompt: “Can we get coffee?” “Is this a date or is it because you’ll end up strangling someone if you don’t get caffeine in your system.” “I shouldn’t have asked.”

^Hello everyone! Its me from now! ~Oooh~ Welcome to the Writer’s Commentary version of Coffee Break! If you’re looking for the Non-Commentary one, here’s the link. For those who are in the right place, Thank you for Reading! For those that don’t know, this story is the 50th FC5 story that I’ve posted here on Tumblr. This story specifically though was actually finished on June 6th 2018, so technically this was probably the...third? story I wrote. Haha. At the time I had debated whether it was good enough to actually post. Obviously my doubt won at the time, but here we are now! Haha. The way this version is going to work is that I’m going to write little notes and commentary like this one about whatever part you’re on. Now, without further ado, I Hope Ya’ll Enjoy! :)

^For the A/N up there, I had found a list of dialogue prompts I really liked. I didn’t have many followers to send me requests/prompts at the time, so I was just randomly choosing ones I liked and writing them. And as Past Me said, I couldn’t resist writing more. I was having so much fun with these. And I still am. Haha.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You’ve been at Jacob’s compound for weeks now. You and Jacob came to a “mutual” agreement a while back. You had told him you would stay with him and the other soldiers (at least until you could plan an escape) if he let Pratt go. You also made him promise not to use his music box on you. That one probably took longer than it did to convince him to free Pratt. But somehow–with your charm and charisma–you had managed to convince him to do both.

^Intro Paragraphs like this one was pretty common when I first wrote fc5 stories. I wanted to keep my stories as “canon” as I could, so I tried to give a reason why the Deputy was with Jacob or why Jacob wasn’t culling the Dep, or Pratt in this case. Later, I started abandoning the explaining and just started jumping right into the story. I have a feeling this had to do with me worrying that people would think it would be strange that the Dep and the Seeds could get along and have a romance. Heh, Little did I know. :P

So now here you were following Jacob through the Veteran’s Center at 5 o’clock in the morning. The sun was barely peeking over the hills and mountains, but surprisingly you were actually wide awake. It must be from all the constant running you’ve been doing for the past several weeks.

Right now Jacob was doing his morning rounds. Checking the cages, training the soldiers, and “conditioning” new recruits. He always brought you along. You doubt he actually trusts you, it’s probably just some kind of publicity statement to his prisoners.

This morning though, Jacob seemed more irritable than usual. It wasn’t taking much to upset him. Then you find out why.

“Can we get coffee?” He randomly asks as you both walk through the courtyard, passing by the cages.

You smirk at his question, “Is this a date or is it because you’ll end up strangling someone if you don’t get caffeine in your system.”

Jacob sends you a glare and keeps walking.

“I shouldn’t have asked.” Jacob grumbles to himself as he walks ahead of you.

“Oh come on, I was only joking.” You call to him as he puts space between the two of you.

“…kind of…” you mutter to yourself.

You jog to catch up with him.

“Okay, okay, where do you want to get coffee?” You ask, placating him.

“I’ll show you.” He replies, slowing down to a normal walking pace again.

You raise your brow as you walk next to him.

“You know where to get coffee?”

“Just be quiet and follow me.” He says, leading you out of the compound.

^One thing that definitely has not changed from then was I use a lot of dialogue in my stories. I like using the characters’ voices to tell the story. Funny thing though, when I wrote this story, I hadn’t actually finished the game yet. I’d guess that I was only about halfway through Jacob’s region when I wrote this. I just loved the characters so much that I couldn't even finish the game before writing fics for it. So, because of that, Jacob’s probably a bit out of character.

He trails you through the forest away from the Center and soon you come to a clearing. It was a lake.

You stop and take a look out at the crystalline water as it shimmers under the slowly rising sun. The air was crisp and the water was perfectly still. It was a breathtaking sight.

“Wow...” You whisper.

You don’t know what this has to do with coffee, but you aren’t complaining.

“Are you coming or are you just going to stand there and stare?” Jacob says, breaking your thoughts.

“Yeah, I was just looking at the water.” You say as you go and stand by him.

“It’s just a bit further then you can admire the scenery all you want.”

“Okay?” You say, following him along the gravelly bank of the lake.

A few minutes later and Jacob has you stopped in front of some trees.

“So why are we here exactly? You’re not gonna murder me, are you?” You ask, looking back and smirking at him.

Jacob shakes his head, clearly still annoyed, “Just go through the trees and find out yourself.”

^When I first wrote my stories, I did mostly, if not all, reader-inserts. And I still do like writing them. I’ve always liked the idea of putting yourself into a story with characters you love. I always try to be really inclusive when it comes to my reader-inserts. I do my best to think of everyone. I even try to think about things like height. Haha. One thing though, I sometimes like to give the Dep!Reader a bit of a humorous or snarky personality. I used humor a lot when I was still new to the characters. Lastly, “gravelly”?? What kind of word choice was that, Past Me?! Haha.

You take a deep breath as you turn back towards the trees. You honestly have no idea what you will find on the other side of these bushes, but you guess there was no changing your mind now.

You step through the trees, pushing a stray branch away from your face as you look through. You see a forest green blanket laid out on the ground. There was a basket as well as a thermos and two white cups sitting beside it. You step out into the opening and stare at the set up. You hear Jacob follow you through the trees and stop behind you.

Your eyes perk up as realisation hits you.

“This is a date.” You say smiling and turning your head to look back at him.

“John suggested other things, but I thought this would be better.” Jacob replies, refusing to look at you.

You smile wider.

Huh, isn’t that something. You thought for sure it was because he would strangle someone if he didn’t get any caffeine. Guess you were wrong.

Then you laugh, realizing what he had said, “What exactly did John suggest?”

^I remember thinking that if I didn’t reach 1,000 words that my stories were going to be too short for readers. I was always trying to find ways to make it longer, but sometimes I just couldn’t add anymore. Now, I try to think more about the story itself. Quality over quantity. I also noticed that I like to end my stories with dialogue. I left this one open-ended so the Reader could imagine how they think it would continue.

^Well, that’s it! I hope you liked this story as well as my silly commentary. Thank ya’ll so much for reading my stories. I really do appreciate it. These past few months have probably been the best I’ve had in awhile. I never thought I would make it this far with these little stories. I will probably never forget these stories or any of ya’ll. I love this. And I love ya’ll. Thank you so much for everything! I can’t wait to write the next one! See ya’ll next time! :3

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