whoop here we go. also i’m losing it we had the same sort of idea for this prompt @deniigi
“Fuck, I’m old,” Wade sighs, stooping. He’s trying to touch his toes. Keyword: Trying. He can’t get past his fucking knees.
“‘Let’s stretch’,” he parrots, groaning. “‘I always stretch. It’s good for you!’ Ha, good for you my ass.”
“If I can do it, you can too,” Matt says, wrapping his hands around the arches of his feet. Fucking show off.
“That’s not how it works you jackass,” Wade hisses, straightening and pressing his hands to his hips, arching his back. “You’ve got training ‘n shit. Ninja shit, I don’t fucking know. I’ve got abs, Red. Abs. How am I supposed to touch my toes with all this rock-hard muscle in the way?”
Matt is not impressed. He stands up, directs a flat look in Wade’s direction, and dips into a long back bend. He inches his hands closer to his ankles slowly, meticulously.
“And anyway, why isn’t Peter stretching? I’ve got a healing factor strong enough to regenerate me from incineration, I don’t have to worry about torn tendons and other shit like that.”
Peter is, in fact, sitting on Matt’s counter and eating lucky charms. He flips Wade the bird.
“He’s right,” Matt says, collapsing his back bend to fold his legs into a weird shape. “You need to stretch, too, Pete. Good habits are best started early, and it’s always good to be flexible. Make sure your, ah, abs don’t get in the way.”
Peter mutinously munches on his cereal. Matt stands up and menaces towards the counter.
“All right, all right, Jesus,” Peter sighs, slamming his food down and hopping off the counter. Matt can and will headlock him, and Peter’s tired of hiding bruises with makeup while he waits for them to heal. “This is bullshit, though. I’m more flexible than the two of you combined.”
“Oh yeah?” Matt says. Wuh-oh. Thems be fighting words, Pete. “Prove it.”
Matt may not be able to see the look on the other man’s face but he can probably feel the animosity in the atoms of the universe or whatever.
Peter stretches his hands up in the air a few times, bending down to touch his toes. He gets a little way past his knees and Wade feels strangely vindicated.
Matt is clearly unimpressed. “Stop fucking around.”
Peter sighs, letting out all his air, and folds in half so far his hands lay flat across the ground. And then he sinks further, wrapping his hands around the backs of his ankles and pulling his torso down.
He straightens from this and stretches his arms above his head again before tipping backwards. Wade thinks for a second that he’s going to do a back bend, like Matt earlier, but his fingertips sweep across the floor without stopping until they’re wrapped around his calves.
Honestly? It looks fucking gross. Peter’s shirt has ridden up, and his fucking bones look like they’re about to pop right out of his skin. Fucking. Gross.
“Cut that out, you’ve proved your point,” he says, covering his eyes with one hand (though peeking, obviously) and flapping the other.
Peter smiles at the backs of his knees and relaxes the pose, straightening up and rolling his shoulders.
“Anyway.” He says, padding across to the counter again. “I’m going back to my Lucky Charms. You two have fun.”
Matt has been eerily silent. He considers the man on his counter for a few long minutes before saying, like Wade earlier, “Fuck I’m old.”
i was thinking about this when describing peter’s pose btw
