Discover Top Posts Tagged with #6:38

This won’t be the last time I have to come out; I’ll probably have to do it tomorrow if I meet someone new. […] I’m gay, I’m happy, it’s great, and hopefully you’re happy for me too.

#dan and phil #phil lester #amazingphil #mine #dp;#6:38 #1k

Its 6:30 I can't sleep so I'm gonna just write what's on my mind rn.

I lost myself last year. And I think I just needed to love someone and feel like I was loved. I needed someone to put my pieces back together. I needed someone to hold my hand when I was crying and say "I'm here for you." I needed someone to pull me out of that darkness. But like... Without all the pressure of a real person. So I think .. that's why I fell into BTS.

Honestly, kpop is catered to be relatable, with all the extra content like reality shows and vlives and behind the scenes content. And BTS themselves... They always strive to be as sincere as possible. I can't count the amount of times they stressed that they wanted to sincerely express themselves and be able to reach out to us. In their lyrics and music, in their choreography, in their videos..

I've tried looking at other groups too. Particularly, I like Monsta X music style. But I can't connect with anyone else. I've tried many groups. I think BTS is just... Different. I could never find that connection. Even with western artists. You know I've liked Billy Talents music since their 2nd album but I don't know ANY of their names? The amount of useless information I could tell you about any of BTS members is insane lmao

And I didn't even really like music before. It was just kind of a thing that was around? Like, I didn't actively keep up with any artists in particular. But I saw these cute boys I vaguely recognized (I had watched Dope back in 2016) dancing on youtube and thought "that was cute, I'll watch another video of them" and somewhere along the line of me trying to learn their names and differentiate their faces, I began to empathize with them. I began to connect.

And lyrics I normally wouldn't pay attention to suddenly held weight. Suddenly the sound of their voices connected to something deep inside me. Suddenly my nights weren't so lonely anymore because they were here for me. It's weird right? They don't actually know I exist. I'm just one of many, many fans.

But I still feel like I matter. In some way. Their music does that. It feels like they're telling me it's okay. You can be you. You can cry, I'll be here too. It's okay to love yourself. Thank you for loving me, too.

And with BTS there, I could look forward to something again. A new album, a new tour, a new video.. and suddenly, it's 2019. Suddenly I look up and I'm not crying every night anymore. Suddenly I feel new. Still lost but... Not in as much pain as I was back then.

Honestly, where would I be if I hadn't found BTS? I'd be someone completely different. I'm not okay yet. But I feel like I'm no longer on the floor, curled up in pain. I feel like they reached out a hand to me, helped me rise back up onto my feet. I'll stumble going forward, I'm still trying to find my footing even now. But they helped me get up. I owe them so much for that alone.

They'll still be here, whispering words of encouragement. Their music will still be here, a safe space to come back to. Like coming back home. They'll still be here. So maybe I can find the courage now to step forward. To grow and find my new self. Maybe..

But for I should sleep. It's almost 7am.... Oof.

#personal #unfiltered?#6:38 #yeet myself to sleep now