Encapsulated in Time: Pt. 4
Bucky x fem! reader
~ I destroyed my mouth eating Captn Crunch while writing this ~
Story Synopsis: Bucky knew something was missing from his memories. Something important, something special. He had tried everything to try and recover what it was, but he never could grasp anything. However, he never expected to find those missing memories in a file and an old box of videotapes.
Her body was never found. The only trace left of her in the apartment was the crimson splatter of her blood on the curtain.
All of her belongings had been taken, even the nails used to hang her paintings. The walls had been repainted to look brand new and the floor had been re-polished.
Bucky had dropped the phone when Fury told him. Steve had immediately caught it and demanded Fury tell him what was going on. As he explained everything to Steve, Bucky slowly got up and made the familiar trek to the training room.
Every step he took suddenly felt wrong, every bit of The Soldier draining from him. Suddenly, he wasn’t aware of any of his surroundings, he wouldn’t even know if someone was right in front of him. He suddenly felt like he was back in the 40s. He felt bare and alive, and he didn’t know what to do.
The training room door slid open the moment he was in front of it. He immediately ripped his t-shirt off and grabbed a punching bag from the side of the room. Bucky watched himself in the mirror as his metal arm dragged the bag. His eyes narrowed as he walked faster to the hook. He barely got the bag hung up before he was throwing punches, knuckles immediately reddening from the rough material.
Breath labored and a pair of knuckles cracked open, Bucky started to cry. Not because of his knuckles and not because of his arm. It was because of you. He had one job, all he had to do was kill you. He would’ve saved you from any misery Hydra would’ve put you through, but of course, he had to follow orders. There was no way you could’ve known the difference between the words.
Bucky sobbed harder as he watched the blood from his knuckles splatter on the floor. Why did he have to be so weak when it came to you? Why did he immediately hesitate and switch out of The Soldier the moment he saw you? He should’ve told you the difference between the orders shoot and execute. Maybe then, all he would have had to do was find your gravestone, not your body.
“Tell me, Soldat, when I give the order to execute, what does it mean?”
“It means to kill no matter what, sir.”
“Good good, now, what does it mean when I give the order to shoot?”
“It means to just shoot, doesn’t matter where.”
“You’re getting better every day, Soldat.”
The bag flung off the hook, sand spilling out where it landed.
Bucky gasped for air, throat constricting from the sobs racking his body. Everything hurt, his knuckles, his heart, his lungs. He couldn’t decide if he liked it better when he didn’t feel anything or when he felt everything. Nothing felt real anymore.
Bucky slipped to his knees, his hands coming to rest in his lap. He turned a shaking hand over to look at his knuckles. They would need some ointment and bandaging but he would live. The glint of his metallic fingers caught his eye, subconsciously causing him to flex them. He watched as the metal plates shifted smoothly with his ministrations, softly smiling as he remembered something you used to do.
“Why do you always hold that hand?”
“Because it’s my favorite part about you. I mean, come on James, a metal arm is pretty radical. I know you don’t like the origin of it, but I think it’s one of the super cool things about you.”
“Whatever you say, dork.”
Bucky kneeled on the mat a little longer before he decided to get up and wrap his knuckles. He would most likely be healed by morning but Steve would kick his ass if he saw that Bucky didn’t wrap his knuckles beforehand. Grabbing his shirt on the way out, Bucky made his way to his room.
Upon entering, he noticed that another file had been added to the top of the tape box. His curiosity threatened to send him off track but he quickly padded over to the sink to wash his hand. He needs to keep his mind on track. If he keeps getting sidetracked by the thought of you, he might just descend into madness. His routine was already destroyed.
Slowly turning on the water, Bucky winced as it came rushing out onto the sensitive skin. He watched as the blood washed down the drain, the image of your blood splattering coming to mind. The pain in his hand subsided as Bucky started to daydream again. Different scenarios of what could’ve happened to you playing through his mind.
A knock at the door slipped Bucky out of his dreaming state. Noticing that the bleeding stopped, Bucky turned off the water and grabbed a small towel to dab over his knuckles. Another knock resounded, a voice coming right behind it.
“Buck, open the door, I just want to check in on you.”
Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve’s overly worried voice. It reminded him of his mothers, always worrying he was overexerting himself. “I’m fine, ma, I promise,” he would say.
“Friday, let him in and alert him I’m in the restroom and will be right out.”
“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.”
Bucky shook his head at the name programmed for him as he grabbed some wrap. He had tried to change it many times but Tony kept changing it back. At least it wasn’t Manchurian Candidate anymore. It only took Bucky threatening to destroy Tony’s CD collection before it was changed. Bucky huffed a laugh at that memory.
Finishing up wrapping his hand, Bucky walked out of the bathroom to Steve pacing around the room. Bucky watched as the picture of you and him caught Steve’s eye. He went to pick it up but Bucky cleared his throat, causing Steve to whip his head around. Steve averted his eyes, knowing he had been caught. He quickly cleared his throat, covering up his reddened cheeks.
“I just wanted to check up on you. You left quickly after Fury told you what he found. You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right? I’m always here for you, Bucky.”
Bucky just sighed and shook his head. He knew he could tell Steve anything but this was different. There was so much he still didn’t remember and so much he just wanted to keep to himself. Steve told Bucky all about Peggy back in the day but he also knew Steve kept some things to himself. He would understand if Bucky didn’t want to tell him everything
“I know I can, Steve, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything as well. Once I know more, I’ll tell you what I can.”
Steve gave him a small smile and nod, his mood lifting some. Bucky sat on the side of the bed and grabbed the new file. He patted the spot next to him, beckoning Steve to come read the information with him. Steve scurried over and plopped beside him, causing Bucky to bounce in his spot some.
They huddled together and sat the file on each other's leg. Bucky took a deep breath, deja vu hitting him hard. Steve rubbed his shoulder, a silent encouragement. Grabbing the edge of the file, Bucky flipped it open and immediately read the first page.
Encapsulated in Time: Classified
