I have been working towards my Masters all year. I would just love a break till August and be transformed into a dimwitted huge guy that just likes to workout and chill.
Hey there! Congratulations on getting your Masters! I’m sorry to say it's a little late to spend a whole summer enjoying being a jock. I mean, who starts a summer long vacation in mid-July? That wouldn’t be nearly as fun. But thankfully with a bit of magic, and an annoying amount of time travel, I can give you a full summer as a dumb, muscular, chill jock. More than that, I can give you any summer as a muscular chill jock. This time we’re going retro, and you’re going to pick what decade you want to jock out in! I’ve got 3 years, in 3 different decades for you to experience a summer of dumb jockhood in!
For our first decade, we’re going to be kickin’ it in the 90’s! The era of ‘Saved By the Bell’, Tamagachis, Grunge, Jurassic Park and the Tech boom! You, specifically, will be chillin’ like a villain in 1996, spending your summer as the beefy star of a 90’s blockbuster action film! You’ll get to spend the entire summer as a beefy black stud, spending every day wearing tight clothing over purposely shiny muscles while doing badass stunts, and every night hooking up with your equally hot co-stars. Enjoy both being, and fucking, an Arnie-sized beefcake well making a classic action movie that wil give gay teenagers feelings they don’t understand for decades to come!
Our next option is the totally tubular 80s! The age of big hair, MTV and B-boy breakdancing! We’re going to be dropping you right at the start of the decade, the summer of 1980! There are a lot of different ways we could take this, but I think we should make you a wicked hot gym bro, one with a beefy body and a manly 80’s mullet! Enjoy a radical summer of hanging on the beach, showing off your muscular body, and hooking up for some bodacious babes (or bros!).
The final decade that's up is, if you haven’t guessed, the groovy 70s! Here's the skinny! As tempted as I am to make you a muscular disco stud with pecs so big they rival your afro, I think we’re going to go a studly college student/anti-war activist! With sexy bellbottoms and no shirt, you’ll spend the summer traveling around with a bunch of other hot hippies, protesting, getting high and experiencing free love first hand. Hope you're stoked!
No matter what choice you make, I hope you have an awesome summer! I’ve set up some precautions so you don’t have to worry about changing the timeline, so have fun! Get crazy! And remember, there's always next summer!