My goal in life is to be a lovely person for no other reason other than remaining true to the gentleness of my nature. There is a quote I’ve seen here that says “Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain, I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe”. There’s a lot about my soul that makes me inclined towards, tenderness, softness, gentleness, compassion. I feel like throughout this busy time in my life I’ve forgotten myself, forgotten what it’s like to be loving and kind, a woman with her heart after Godliness. Things have consumed me, conversations and opinions have drowned out that which I know to be true. As I get older there are more women I encounter that tell me I should do whatever I want because I’m grown (i.e drinking alcohol, going out to parties/clubbing, participating in pre-marital sex, having this bad boss woman mentality that doesn't care about anyone). But I truly believe the adult thing to do is remain a woman who trusts in God and who is steadfast in her faith not allowing anyone to sway me on my beliefs. Sometimes I think these aspects of my personality are silly, like how loving and sensitive I am, how I feel like I’ve got to abide by all the rules and regulations and think it’s something that I’ve got to grow out of in order to be a real woman (sometimes I feel like I gotta toughen up to get respect or break a few rules to break the mold of who I’ve always been, get out of my comfort zone a bit) but that isn't the case it’s far more admirable to stay true to who I am and always have been. I have to know that it’s quite alright and there's nothing wrong with a heart that beats for humanity, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a heart that wants to do what is right. The more I grow and learn the more I am in awe of individuals who have the courage to remain themselves amongst a mass of people telling them to be otherwise. I have to remind myself that while I am reaching for success to never forget who got me there, who’s plan for my life is already set out. I must not harden myself and let pain make me someone I’m not. I know who I am, and who I belong to, I’ve lost my way a bit. But by grace I’ve been kept, I will get to where I need to be. I just never want to feel like I need to alter myself to get there. I will never stop striving to be a warm kind loving woman who’s heart is set on God. I was never any of these things for anyone but myself
