#8.28.15

[an13ty-archive]

I haven't done anything to myself recently like I seriously haven't self harmed in so long but I really fucking want to I just want to feel something I just want to be in control of my own fucking body for once and how I feel

[an13ty-archive]

Honestly what is the point of living? The whole idea of life is to have a family, make friends, and get a job you like, right? I'm an asexual aromantic, I don't want a family , I literally have 0 friends at school if I died there would be no one directly affected by it there, and I'm an artist, artists don't get good jobs. The only reason why I'm still alive is because of what will happen after I'm dead But honestly, When I'm dead it's over, nothing happens. It's all gone, there isn't anyone anymore there isn't a me anymore, dead people don't care about living people. So why am I even trying? It doesn't matter, I don't matter. And don't fucking tell me "it is worth it!! Just think positive !!" Because that's not how it fucking works I am not capable of thinking happily okay my brain is wired that way And don't tell me some dumb sappy shit like I'll miss drinking tea or I won't be able to pet dogs anymore because "oh my god I drank a glass of tea and I pet a dog so I'm cured and I have friends and a healthy relationship with my family now!!!! :)" Sorry

[dungeons-and-foodies]

8.28.15 Day One of Soylent

Had a bit more texture than I was expecting, smelled a bit of yeast, tasted better with honey. May try blending a smoothy with it in there. Gotta get smoothy stuff.

[fobomatic-blog]

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[fobomatic-blog]