Dwarves - “Lick it?” Destination Bomp! Song released in 1988. Compilation released in 1995. Garage Punk / Punk Rock / Trash Rock / Psychobilly
From critic Matt Carlson:
Short of G.G. Allin, it would be hard to name a punk rock band that went further to establish a bad reputation than the Dwarves. Playing deliberately crude, high-speed punk rock dripping with bad attitude, the Dwarves -- led by vocalist Blag Dahlia and guitarist He Who Cannot Be Named -- matched their music with lyrics that celebrated all sorts of bad behavior, and their album covers almost invariably featured full-frontal nudity. Add in the band's live shows, which often lasted less than 20 minutes and occasionally included a physical assault on the audience, and you have a recipe for infamy, which the Dwarves rode to a lasting cult following via incendiary albums like Blood Guts & Pussy (1990), Thank Heaven for Little Girls (1991), and The Dwarves Must Die (2004).
You know that phrase “live fast, die young”? It’s sort of like a life code for a lot of musicians, especially punk rockers; people who want to make their indelible, outrageous mark and then disappear forever; people who live in the now and only the now. Well, the Dwarves are a band that have more than fulfilled the first half of that phrase, but they just absolutely refuse to die. They’re geezers now, but they’re still kicking around out there. And you’d think for a band who plays as insanely as they do that they’d flame out almost as soon as they’d formed, but this San Francisco group has managed to completely defy the odds...so far.
The Dwarves actually started out in Chicago though, as a group of punky psychedelic garage rock revivalists who called themselves The Suburban Nightmare. But when they migrated to San Francisco, they decided to add a lot more shock and chaos to both their sound and stage show. You could hear it all starting to come together in 1986 for their first album as the Dwarves, Horror Stories, which was punkier than their Suburban Nightmare album, but still had the psychedelic garage rock sound, too.
The same year that Horror Stories was released, drummer Sigh Moan wrote one of the band’s most notorious tunes, “Lick It?” But it wouldn’t be until 1988 that the song would appear as the a-side for the band’s first single. Then in 1990, the Dwarves were signed to Seattle grunge label Sub Pop, for whom they shed their psych-garage stylings and decided to go straight-ahead shock-punk. It was a weird pairing to have this brash set of punk rockers on a flannel-clad grunge label, and in pure Dwarves fashion, they were kicked off the label for making a fake press release that stated that their guitarist, HeWhoCannotBeNamed, was fatally stabbed in Philadelphia.
But let’s get back to “Lick It?” then, which is a brilliant tune that catches the Dwarves between their psychedelic-garage phase and their solely punk phase. While the band’s earliest work was mainly psych/garage rock revival first and punk second, “Lick It?” appears to be the inverse. And it’s more than just that. There’s a pure, greasy trashiness to it, too, as well as a countrified twanginess. It’s The Cramps meets The Stooges meets The Trashmen. It’s a piece of southern-set B-movie horror whose fast-clanging country chords drone chaotically as they drag you down to hell; it’s that part of the movie where you’re careening down an empty, unlit farm road trying to escape from a reanimated skeleton who has evil intentions, only to look over and find that that skeleton is suddenly riding shotgun with you. “Lick It?” is punk, it’s garage revival, it’s trash revival, and it’s psychobilly. It’s an eighty-plus-second whirlwind of beautiful sleaziness, ambiguously telling you to “lick it,” much like how Frankie Goes to Hollywood was controversially telling you to “suck it” some years prior. What those two bands were telling you to lick and suck though, isn’t made apparent, but you can use your imagination.
For what it’s worth, HeWhoCannotBeNamed is notorious for playing in the buff during performances while donning a luchador mask, so maybe the song’s about his exposed dingus, and when he plays the song live, that thing just freely bobs up and down as he menacingly jitters on his guitar. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
One of the Dwarves’ best tunes. Some company ran an ad with this song trying to advertise stamps once.















