#9 18 17

[catchmewhen-i-lie]

Persephone keeps trying to remind me that I do not need to know the specific details of everything.

The best surprises come when you aren't expecting them.

The best parts of life are unplanned.

I haven't asked her yet, but I wonder whether she's aware of how little I know.

Obviously, she knows. She's Persephone.

I don't have a general idea of where I'm going.

I live day to day.

Friends have noticed how spontaneous I've gotten over the past few years.

My brother thinks I'm reckless. 

Life comes at me fast, even when I plan things out.

So, I've stopped trying to plan.

I've started taking life in handfuls and my family doesn't understand.

I live like tomorrow won't come, but my every move is so calculated.

Chess against the world, pawns taking their steps, but I don't know what they're defending.

Persephone wants to ease my mind.

I don't always have to have a purpose for everything.

Right now, Everybody Wants To Rule The World is playing on the radio

She's so supportive of me, despite how unsure I feel.

Maybe she's trying to be the stability that I'm lacking in my life.

I can't see the future, I'm so spontaneous with my time.

Persephone? She's consistent and wonderful.

I really can't thank her enough.

She always makes herself known when I need her most.

Reliable, seasons may change.. but Persephone does not.

Maybe this is how Hades feels during spring,

when the first couple of weeks have drifted into beautiful blooms and environmental shifts

She's always the breath of fresh air that someone needs,

the push towards a new beginning.

Refreshing winds blow along her path and I feel a little liberated when I'm in her care

[catchmewhen-i-lie]

Tonight, I called upon Aphrodite's help. There was a part of me that finally made itself apparent, like the moon coming back from the beginning It sure would be nice to be wanted and to be able to act upon attraction. Aphrodite listens with a serene grace, with eyes that could make you believe you were the canvas on which constellations are painted When I had finished speaking, she had asked me if there was anyone I wanted.

~

Of course there was. There was a girl with sweet eyes, a laugh that carried to the soul.. a girl with a respectful patience, soft hands, shy smile, a voice that invited my heart to harmonize as naturally as breathing comes to my lungs This girl, dancing through my mind, her hair a river of fire under the moonlight, her heartbeat against my chest This girl, without singing a word, exists as a siren's song. I cannot resist the pull of her charm, as I am helpless to be caught up in her riptide. She's a song that loops itself in my brain, captivates me in a way that I can't explain.

~

Aphrodite waits for my answer, with a knowing smile. I tell her that I shouldn't be so foolish as to believe that my choice would affect the assistance she gives me.

~

The Goddess of Love stares.

~

"Why shouldn't you be able to choose your love? Or allow yourself to love who you do?" I stutter, but she continues. "Why are you holding back your love? You deserve your own true love as well, just as much as anyone else."

~

Aphrodite says things like this to alleviate the weight I let sink into my chest.. She asks questions that I cannot easily answer, but she holds no menace in her actions. She teaches more than romance and sexual appeal, and in these moments, I remember best what she wants to help us with.

~

I tell her the truth: Logically, the chances that this intoxicating, wonderful, beautiful girl would love me? It would be too good to be true. I'm met with a patient, understanding sigh. "How can you fall in love, when you don't allow yourself the chance? You don't allow anyone the chance to fall for you, no matter how much they want you. You don't respect yourself enough to allow beauty to find you and cherish you. It's not fair to you. Do you know that?"

~

Aphrodite told me that I deserved more than never letting myself have a chance. Only the Goddess of Love could talk to me about falling in love in a way where I understood how I needed to progress. She insists that we stumbled upon the truth together, but she has so much more wisdom than she allows herself to believe. The Queen of Hearts, she lets others love themselves enough where they find the love they want most. Tonight, I asked for her help falling in love and tonight, she gave me an answer that testifies to her identity of love Tonight, I will start giving my love a chance. I can love with all of my heart, and maybe.. just maybe? That will be more than enough.