Nov 7, 2019
Asked friends to call me another name via group chat and je suis fokin NERVOUS
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Asked friends to call me another name via group chat and je suis fokin NERVOUS
Day 101 - 9:52
Got dressed. I'll probably have to change in less than an hour to go clear the driveway
محدش فينا مش خسران ولا مجروح ..
I’ve never been more lost in my life. I keep moving place to place and I have no idea what i am supposed to be doing. I make my mother cry and I feel like a bad kid. I feel so confused...so lost. I dont even know where to begin. Who am I anymore? I feel like I dont care. I really let myself go and I am trying to find me again but how long will it be until I can? I wish you were listening god. I feel so empty.
They are poisoning my food
I know it, they are making it poisonous. Every time I eat it makes me feel sick, but I don't even care. Fuck them.
They are testing me to see how hungry I have to be before I force myself to eat food that I know is poisoned.
But I know it's not fatal, they just want to test my limits. . .
Like when they push my emotional capacity to it's limits to see how long it takes for me to break down and tell them everything.
I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU THINK IM "giving up" IM GPING TO TAKE ALL OF THEM IF SOMEONE DOESNT TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT HAVE TOGETHER I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING IN ANGER AND FEAR AND SADNESS DO YOU REALLY THINK I GIVE A SHOT ABOUT WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR THINKS ABOUT ME ANYMORE? I DONT CARE IF YOU THINK IM A COWARD OR THAT IM GIVING UP BECAUSE I AM. I AM GIVING UP AND I AM A COWARD,